Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Marisa – Page 15

Some people don’t like it when you make fun of Edmond…

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I’ve been writing for The Lost Ogle for almost 5 years now. In my first post I suggested that you, the reader, ply John Mayer with liquor and invite B.J. Wexler out on a date. You would think that this would’ve set the tone for my tenure as a TLO contributor sufficiently. Well, it would appear it has not.

So, I’m taking a moment to address the criticism and comments we received from my post “9 reasons I hold a grudge against Edmond.” Maybe some people really took offense to the word “grudge.” In which case, I really meant a grudge like that Japanese horror movie in that I’m just a dead, cursed ghost doomed to wander Edmond forever. Nothing to see here.

Keep in mind that my post listed the reasons that *I* will always hold a grudge against Edmond and that the post is completely based upon my own experiences, experiences that, based on the comments, coincide with the experiences of A LOT of other people who grew up in Edmond. Oh, and I’m pretty much Patrick’s favorite contributor, so I can do whatever the Hell I want.

To those who suggest I grow up, stop whining, or get a life: no.

To those who suggest that making fun of Edmond is somehow low-hanging fruit: so is the rest of the metro area. There are only so many stripper jokes to be made about Valley Brook. There are only so many hipster jokes to make about the Plaza District. There are only so many aging hippies on recumbent bikes jokes to be made about Norman. There are only so many cage fighters running Pit Bull puppy mill jokes to be made about the Mid-Del area. Admittedly, there are a lot of jokes to be made about Piedmont. I’ve only barely scratched that surface.

Some of you had more constructive criticism. Like Malia:

9 reasons I hold a grudge against Edmond

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Ah, Edmond. It’s a nice, quiet city, the sort of place you want to raise your kids. Unless you were raised there, that is. If you grew up there, you know the ambivalence I’m talking about. Edmond may be home, but you sure as hell don’t tell anyone that when you grow up and go to college. I always thought I wanted to leave Oklahoma, but when I moved out of Edmond, I didn’t feel the urge to do so anymore.

Edmond is the Plano to Oklahoma City’s Dallas–suburban sprawl and mini malls to cater to the most discerning of upper middle class taste. My feelings about Edmond are why I started writing for TLO. And today, I’m going to share with you 9 reasons why I hold a grudge against Edmond.

 

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UCO knocked down my great-grandparents’ house

So, little known Marisa fun fact: my family was from Edmond before Edmond was Edmond, by which I mean before white flight made Edmond the Edmond it is today. My great grandparents owned a house on property that was bought out by Central State University, later UCO. Now, I know that they bought the land from my great-grandparents, and then demolished the house. But as a little kid, I always imagined my pappy and my granny (yeah, that’s what we called them) fleeing for their lives as a wrecking ball swung toward them. To this day, I still cast a wary eye at UCO, lest they come for me.

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$100 senior prom

Monday Morning Tweets

Good morning, haters, and a happy Monday to all. If you work for the state or federal government or a bank, chances are you’re off work today. You should enjoy your sunny Monday by attending the MLK Day parade, and by not setting grassfires. If you’re at work, I feel bad for you. I have the day off, but at my new job, I never work on Mondays. It’s the best.

Anyway, since it is Monday, I’ve got some tweets for you to enjoy. So sit back, relax, and read on. As always, the tweets are after the jump!

Some kids want to solve the mystery of an old wedding dress

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One of the cornerstones of adulthood is the realization that there are no fairytales. There is no knight in shining armor, kissing frogs probably just gives you warts, and happily ever after generally means arguing with your spouse about money and how to raise the kids for the rest of your life. Sure, Disney can paint a pretty picture, but girl, if some strange dude tries to kiss you while you’re sleeping, you should probably hit him and alert the proper authorities.

Every once in a while, kids have to grow up a little too fast and they find out that those fairytales aren’t real. It’s a shame, but it happens. And it actually just happened to some kids in Edmond. According to KFOR.com:

EDMOND, Okla – It is an ongoing investigation for a group of students at a local elementary school.

A group of fourth graders at St. Mary’s recently found a wedding dress near a pond close to their school.

Now, they are trying to find out who it belongs to.

Head investigators Marley Hall and her partner Sam Mooney are working to crack the case.

“Some people thought that it might have been a crime scene,” 4th grade student Marley Hall said. “But we don’t think so.”

Honestly, those puffy sleeves make me think that someone just wanted to throw it away. Which is totally justifiable. I mean, look at it. Those yellowed sequins are old enough to understand that mommy and daddy aren’t going to get back together, and you’re just going to have to deal with having two Christmases every year.

Monday Morning Tweets

Happy Monday and welcome to this, your Monday Morning Tweets. We have been puttering along through the dreary, gray deathscape that is an Oklahoma January, and there is no end in sight. But, whatever. In about 6 months I’ll be complaining about how stupid hot it is in Oklahoma and how there’s no end in sight. But the weather is always the worst, regardless of what it actually is.

Anyway, as always, I have some tweets for you to peruse in order to kick off your week. Right here, after the jump, of course!