Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Marisa – Page 15

Monday Morning Tweets

Good morning and happy Monday, everyone. Welcome to the first Monday in November. I hope your Halloween was good, and you enjoyed your extra hour of sleep. You know who probably didn’t enjoy her extra hour of sleep? Representative Leslie Osborn. She spent her weekend answering for this now deleted tweet:

Leslie Osborn daylight savings time tweet

So, for you brown folks keeping score at home: It’s not safe to live in Osborn’s district (Mustang, Tuttle, and part of OKC) or Beckham County because of Sheriff Scott Jay. And to Representative Osborn, I would say that we expect more from you, but let’s be real. You’re just Oklahoma business as usual, pretty much undoing all the cool things others are trying to make happen.

With that having been said, let’s get down to business. I’ve collected the best tweets from the week before and gathered them all here for your enjoyment. As always, you can check them out after the jump!

5 other things that should also be illegal while driving

textdrive

The state’s ban on texting while driving goes into effect this weekend. I’m a big fan of the law. In fact, I’m a fan of any law that would require any person in control of an automobile to act in a manner that conveys that they are aware that the vehicle itself could potentially be a deadly weapon. (See, guys? I’m not just down with gun control. I’m a big proponent of car control too.) For this reason, I’ve listed 5 more driving laws that we should enact to keep the mean streets of Oklahoma safe.

1. Going under the speed limit in the left lane.

This is the biggest pet peeve I have on the road. It is the fast lane. You go fast in the fast lane. However, there are several individuals who like to go under the speed limit in the fast lane, ostensibly because they are unaware of what the word “fast” denotes. Until this is a law that is enforced on the reg, you can totally catch me passing on the right and giving dirty looks to the octogenarians that are farting along in the fast lane as if they have all the time in the world and no destination.

Birds are invading Yukon…

Yukon birds

Some of Tracy Morgan’s greatest lines from 30 Rock involve birds. Like the time he tells a pigeon to stop eating french fries out of the garbage and to have some self-respect. Or, the time he takes an absurdly long pause during his contract negotiations and states he was just thinking about how weird it is that we eat birds. Both are golden moments on the small screen, and I’d love to live in a world where Tracy Morgan gave me his daily thoughts about birds, but we can’t have it all.

Anyway, I bring this up because there are currently some birds here in the OKC Metro–specifically in Yukon. I mean, there are a lot of birds. But the remarkable thing about this story is not the amount of birds so much as how few people remember the name of classic Hitchcock films, or how fascinated KFOR is with bird poop. According to KFOR.com:

A contraband-carrying drone crashed into a fence at the state penitentiary

contraband drone prison

I’ve never been to jail. Sure, I’ve contemplated stealing one of those “hitchhikers may be escaped convicts” signs you see dotted along highways near prisons, but I’ve never actually been to the big show. And, the older I get, the more I realize that this is somewhat of a feat for my high school graduating class. Sure, there are a lot of people who haven’t been to jail. But there are also quite a few members of the ENHS class of 2004 who have done some time.

Anyway, suffice it to say that the majority of my knowledge of being locked up comes from watching cartoons or The Shawshank Redemption. Basically, I assume jail is all about wearing striped jumpsuits and escaping through the sewer system. But apparently, it’s a lot about drones too.

According to KOCO.com:

Monday Morning Tweets

Good morning and happy Monday, TLO community. By now, I’m sure you’ve heard about the terrible accident that occurred at the OSU homecoming parade on Saturday. There really aren’t a whole lot of words you can say in situations like this because you can’t lessen the loss or severity of the situation with easy answers. And even though the majority of the TLO crew are OU fans, we want all our Pokes friends to know that we’re thinking of you and the city of Stillwater.

So if you need a little pick-me-up, as always, I’ve gathered up the tweets from the week before and put them all in one place. You can check them out after the jump!