Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Marisa – Page 15

About that Norman kid who wore an old man mask to rob banks…

Old Man bankrobber

I’ve never really thought about the logistics of robbing a bank, mainly because I’ve always assumed that there wasn’t much money to be had from it. Like, the tellers can only give you so much, so the ROI isn’t really that great. Card counterfeiting is really where it’s at. And that can be done pretty easily and with little technical knowledge. Not that I’ve researched it or anything. Also, I saw The Wolf of Wall Street. I know how to illegally get a lot of dollars if the need ever arises.

But it turns out that not everyone has given this much thought to stealing the money of others. In fact, some kid robbed a few banks and went undetected.

From News 9:

Monday Morning Tweets: Surviving Sharknado 2

As a person who regularly loses large amounts of time to daydreaming, blackout drunkenness, and accidentally stepping through rifts in time and space, it’s no surprise to me that July is over and August is here. To everyone else who is surprised, I’m sorry. It’s probably a wormhole though, if that makes you feel any better. Yeah, you lost little pieces of your life when you stepped through it, but at least now you’re one step closer to fall! And to cheer you up after your little bout of time travel, I’ve gone and aggregated some tweets for you. Y’all oughta keep me around. I just keep on giving.

Anyway, as always, the tweets are after the jump. (In this case, the “read more” jump and the jump through time.)

A third Walmart in Norman is probably inevitable

walmart

One of the cool things about telling an obscure local social blog the reasons that Edmond sucks 4 years ago is that it has given me the opportunity to release my opinions upon the world. Granted, no one takes them seriously, but at least when I scream out into the void that is the internet, my voice is slightly more amplified than others. I’m getting ready to express an opinion that won’t matter because I’m but one small person, but just let me do it and maybe we can all commiserate in the comments section when I’m done, yeah?

They are getting ready to build a third Walmart Super Center in Norman, and the one thing that we don’t need more of in Oklahoma is Walmart stores.

NewsOK.com has a story about a planned protest and a petition drive to prevent the land from being rezoned for Walmart’s use.

Monday Morning Tweets: Vanity Perkins wants to know if you have three friends

Well, here we are again. It’s Monday, and I stayed up way too late eating Mexican food and Coors Light with my family the night before. It was totally worth it, and I think if you’re the type to choose going to bed on time over eating Mexican food, we will never be friends in real life. And, it’s probably worth nothing that a lot of us will never be friends in real life. It’s nothing against you, it’s just I don’t like to meet strangers who only know me from my internet persona. I’m pretty disappointing and just all-around underwhelming in person. So consider yourself lucky that you get to read me on the internet instead. This is how the good lord intended me to be–on the internet.

Anyway, check out this week’s tweets after the jump!

8 ways to improve the Turner Turnpike

turner-turnpike

Every once in a while, you have to go to Tulsa.

It’s not a bad place, per se. Cain’s is a great venue, and there are some neat things that happen there. I mean, it’s no Oklahoma City, but it’s not a bad place. The drive there, however, is the worst. I’m not sure why a drive that’s approximately 2 hours can seem so painful, but each and every time to make it, you swear off the northeast part of the state for good, only to return because, well, you have to.

But what if that drive didn’t suck so hard? What if those two lanes were less like torture, and more like a vacation? That’s why I bring to you a list of 9 things to improve the Turner Turnpike. Lord knows all the money we spend on the tolls should be going to something. Why not improvements?

800px-Old-Train-Engine

8. High speed rail

This improvement involves getting rid of the turnpike all together. If I could hop in a train and take that to Tulsa instead of having to drive there, I would be one happy peach. I may even go to Tulsa more often if that were an option. I can almost guarantee that this train would do more business than the Heartland Flyer.

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7. More vaginas

Speaking from experience, one is never enough.