It’s rough being an Edmond teenager. Yes, I’m being serious. Stick with me on this one, I’m about to name a whole bunch of first world problems that you can’t judge me on especially since you have access to a device that can access the internet.
The only reason I’m here writing for The Lost Ogle today is because I know why Edmond sucks. Don’t get me wrong. I love it too. It’s my stomping grounds. Some day, when Patrick lets me post the official Gentle Marisa Edmond Tour, I’ll show you awesome things about the city, like where I had my first kiss, where I got drunk for the first time, and where I used to hide my stash. It’s a pretty great tour and includes a house that Shannon Miller once lived in.
But the reason it’s hard to be an Edmond teen is because it’s so damn boring. Sure, it’s safe and a great place to raise a family. But close your eyes and pretend your 16. Chances are you imagined yourself being bored out of your mind or consuming a bunch of vodka and Valium like the cheerleaders at my alma mater used to do during basketball games.
Well, it’s recently gotten worse. Some lame kids couldn’t keep a secret, and now you can no longer get tattoos as a minor in Edmond. According to KFOR.com:
EDMOND, Okla. – An Edmond man has been arrested for giving tattoos to juveniles.
Ambrosia Thomas, 32, turned himself into authorities this week but the alleged incidents happened back in September.
That’s when police were tipped off by a father who said his daughter and a group of kids told their parents they were headed to the movies.
Instead, they went to a house in the area of 15th St. and Bryant where they met a man to get tattoos.
In Oklahoma you have to be 18 to get a tattoo.
Check out the man who did the tattooing:
Hey y’all. And can I just say holy eff March is already over? What the hell happened there? Seriously, 2013 is shaping up to be the fastest year ever, which means that the world is totally rotating faster than it used to, probably because of global warming. But none of that’s important. Because today is Good Friday. It’s not so good as Better Friday, and even less good than Best Friday. But it’s good, and sometimes you just have to take what you can get.
Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town!
Did you know that food tastes better when it’s prepared in an automobile? It’s an indisputable fact. Think about it. The fair—all food is prepared in mobile trailer sorts of things and smells vaguely of the diesel that fuels them. Now just imagine how good that food would taste if it were prepared in a truck. Aw yes. And what if those food trucks were Heo’s Kitchen, MotoChef, Off the Hook Seafood and More, Roxy’s Ice Cream Social and so many more.
The H&8th Night Market is a celebration of mobile culinary creativity that takes place in front of Elemental Coffee. It’s free to attend, and there will be some live music as well. You can see some Spy DJs inside Elemental Coffee throughout the evening. And Coop Ale Works will be your local, friendly, beer provider for the night.
Well, readers, it may be spring here in OKC, but winter is definitely coming. On March 31, my life will soon have meaning again. I’ve never been so glad about my parents paying for like 900 channels worth of nonsense as when HBO introduced the HBOGO app. With my mom’s password, I have access to a world of magic, intrigue, betrayal, and lots of boobs. If you haven’t caught on yet, readers, I’m talking about Game of Thrones.
Season 3 will begin at the end of this month, and we will all, once again, be enthralled by a fantasy world. Will Arya make it home? Will Theon Greyjoy quit being a jackwagon already? Will someone please beat the everloving hell out of Joffrey? Who knows! (If you’ve read the books and you spoil this for me, I will George R.R. Martin you so fast—that’s code for kill you off).
Anyway, in anticipation for Sunday’s premier, Patrick and I decided to come up with a list of Oklahoman’s we’d cast as some of our favorite Game of Thrones characters. Let’s begin with the good guys, or at least who we think are the good guys, the lovable Starks:
Catelyn Stark / The Pioneer Woman
Who better to be wife and mother of the Stark clan than the Pioneer Woman? She has experience cooking, cleaning, ranching and home schooling her children all by herself…and with a little help of an army of servants, tutors and ghostwriters. - Marisa
Does this mean the Marlboro Man will get his head chopped off? - Patrick
Arya Stark / Young Emily Sutton
Emily is everyone’s favorite and can put up a mean fight when need be. – Marisa
Dreams do come true! – Patrick
Well, here we are the end of spring break. There is no more fun until the summer time. Or, if you’re like me, there is no more fun until the next time you decide you need to drink a whole bottle of red wine while you read Pinterest. I know how to live it up. This “holiday” can happen on a Tuesday, a Sunday at 11 AM, or your lunch break! That’s the great thing about wine. It’s so versatile. It’s a delightful way to relax, or a great lunch. I suggest you try it. All you need is a $7 bottle of merlot.
Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.
Readers, patio season approaches. It’s kind of here, but we keep getting these crappy cold snaps. But soon, for like two weeks, the weather will be nice enough for us to sit outside and drink margaritas or beers or light wines or really whatever you want. Then, it will be way too hot to even go outside to check the mail, much less to sit outside and consume alcohol. But for those two weeks in the spring and those two weeks in the fall when the weather is perfect—it’s all about the patio.
This weekend, if you aren’t satisfied with the patios that restaurants have to offer, you can build your own. Get yourself on down to the State Fairgrounds to see the very best in Spanish tiles, terra cotta pots, wrought iron furniture, and hot tubs (ah yeah!). Then, after you’ve spoken with a contractor to turn your backyard into an oasis and escape, you can invite me over. I’ll totally bring over some Carlo Rossi or whatever. Let’s do this, readers.
Norman is a city full of people carrying things. Students and professors have books and papers and laptops to schlep. Pedestrians and bike riders alike need an efficient way to convey personal effects about town. Thus, the prevalence of backpacks and messenger bags and large totes. I, myself, own no less than 4 Timbuk2 bags. Some ladies go for Coach. But to me, it’s all about that ballistic nylon.
And as I remember, before I stopped watching midway through season two, a plot point in the relationship between Sayid and that snotty blond girl on Lost, was a backpack left unattended in an airport. Such was the case at the Sam Noble Museum of Natural History on Tuesday. Though, this happening was infinitely less dramatic than Lost, and didn’t string anyone along for years.
According to KFOR.com:
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