Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Marisa – Page 17

This robber gets sleepy on the job…

sleeping burglar

As an adult, the best part of my day is often my nap. I don’t always get one, but when I do, it’s pretty great. It’s not uncommon to find me sleeping under my desk on my lunch break, or in my car if the weather’s nice. I just like it. Hell, if I can position my desk and monitors just right, it’s not out of the realm of possibility for me to take a nap in a way that makes it look like I’m just reading what’s on my computer. It’s probably my greatest super power, next to always remembering where I’ve parked.

But there are some in this world who don’t have jobs that easily lend themselves to napping. And I truly feel for them. When I was a bartender, I had to stay up until like 3 in the morning to get the customers out, money counted, and bar cleaned. And there was no time for a nap during my shifts. That’s why I have a lot of sympathy for this guy who fell asleep while trying to rob a house. According to KFOR.com:

The best pins on KFOR’s Pinterest boards

One of my favorite things about living in this day and age is the ability to waste hours upon hours just doing nothing on the internet. It’s one of my greatest joys. I’m at a phase in my life where I can search Zillow all day and never get bored, though I get really high blood pressure trying to figure out how to fit all my kitchen gadgets in homes that I will never live in. It’s like all the best parts of watching House Hunters, but without the asshole buyers. Seriously, try it.

Now, I know that there are others who prefer to use social media to waste time on the internet. Who hasn’t stalked exes on Facebook, refreshed their Twitter feed to get the 3 latest tweets every few seconds, or scrolled through someone’s Instagram profile until you accidentally like a picture from 5 months ago and they know you’re stalking. But still, for the craftier and more hands on types, there’s Pinterest. It’s a great blackhole to fall down if you ever want to learn to sew, plan a wedding, or look at stupid memes that were posted on Reddit a year ago.

Which makes me wonder if KFOR is doing any of those things because they totally have a Pinterest account. It’s a lot better than ours. And in addition to the typical recipe and wedding boards, they also have a few just for fans like us. Here are some highlights from the Behind the Scenes board.

ashley kringen lacey lett

Twinkies-ish: Ashley Kringen and Lacey Lett are wearing similar colors!

A Duncan teacher handed out Bibles to students in class


So, it probably won’t surprise anyone to know that I’m not a religious person. My dad came to the US from a country where his religion is no longer legal to practice, and my mom is pretty freelance in her worship style. As a result, I’ve never been baptized, been a member of a church, or attended any vacation Bible school. While I never had any qualms with this, the members of the Memorial Road Church of Christ who attended Sequoyah Middle School sure let me know that I was going to Hell on a daily basis.

Anyway, I bring all this up to say that non-Christians in Oklahoma occupy a very weird space. When you aren’t constantly being questioned by “well-meaning” individuals, you’re being pressured into attending services with those “well-meaning” individuals. So, there should be safe places for non-Christians to live their lives, yeah? Like maybe a place that is supposed to guarantee the separation of church and state, you know, like a public school. But that’s not how it goes down in Duncan.

According to KFOR.com:

Monday Morning Tweets: April Foolin’

Happy Monday and welcome to another edition of everyone’s favorite TLO column that features tweets! As I write this, I am sick from consuming too much Easter food and candy. Every year I think I’m not going to gorge myself on chocolate bunnies and Reese’s eggs. But every year I finish like a champ. What can I say? I’m dedicated to the ones I love.

Anyway, I’m going to assume that you’re a grown adult and you don’t have issues with eating too much candy. So I won’t even suggest that you are perhaps as nauseated as me. Instead, I’ll just encourage you to read all the tweets I have gathered for you after the jump!

6 things we really want to write about…

While I don’t consider myself to be a journalist, sometimes I kind of feel like one. I bring information to the people, granted on many occasions that information was already at the people’s fingertips. What I do is take really boring news stories, and make them better for your consumption. I love doing it, and I hope you enjoy it as well.

But sometimes, I’m not content with the news stories we get. Sure, it’s fun to write about the very silly and ridiculous things that Oklahomans do. But I have a bucket list, if you will, of things I want to write about here on TLO before I leave this world. (No, I’m not dying, I just know that some of the things I want to see happen are going to take anywhere from 20 to 50 years to occur. You’ll still read an 80-year old Marisa’s posts, won’t you?) I’m not saying any of you fine readers should make this happen, because I could see someone getting in trouble for a few of these. But you know, you kind of owe me, seeing as how I’ve been writing for TLO for the past 5 years and you’ve been ravenously consuming my posts for free. You kind of owe me.

Anyway, here are some things I’d like to see happen in the OKC Metro so I can write about them:


1. A meteorite taking out Memorial Road