The weekend is over, and that can only mean one thing. It’s Monday. And instead of sitting at your desk nursing a Sunday fun day hangover, you should nurse a Sunday fun day hangover AND read some of the best tweets the past week had to offer. As always, I’ve got them right here for your, lovingly curated and with razor-sharp witty commentary. Seriously, the laughs ahead will make up for the fact that you squandered the past weekend and didn’t get any Christmas shopping done. Check them out after the jump!
The recent weather has really helped me understand character motivations in Game of Thrones. I mean, they know winter is coming, and we have meteorologists telling us what’s going to happen with the weather. They have white walkers and we have people in Crocs getting their cars stuck. They have the Night’s Watch guarding the wall, and for the majority of the past weekend, we had officers not responding to non-injury accidents. It’s basically the same thing.
But I’m glad we don’t have the rampant cutthroat characters that populate Westeros. I couldn’t handle it, and I know that if we did, I would be a character analogously similar to the prostitute that Joffrey beats to death. Luckily for me, our crime is more Three Stooges than anything else. According to KFOR.com:
All right. Let’s get down to business. This past week was insane. I mean, Bedlam, snowmageddon, and an earthquake? Social media basically exploded. That, and the fact that a lot of you were off work and free to tweet to your hearts’ content.
Lands. Opens twitter feed. Everyone: SNOWEARTHQUAKEBEDLAMCOLD
— Rusty Surette (@rustysurette) December 7, 2013
Are you tired of hearing about all these things yet? It doesn’t matter. Like always, I’m here to beat that dead horse just a little harder than you thought possible. This week’s tweets are after the jump.
Sometimes I think about having a child. It doesn’t get much further than dressing them up in tiny baby tuxedos or ewok costumes, because I can’t fathom any other reason to spawn. Luckily for me, I’ve never been to the cabbage patch. Because that’s where babies come from, right? I mean, I’m not 100% sure. I went to an Oklahoma public school, and beyond having teachers constantly remind you that all boys are predatory and want one thing, my education regarding the birds and the bees was sorely lacking. Thankfully, my family had an internet connection and I could access enough porn to know what a normal adult relationship looked like, right?
I’m not the only one who thinks that we could be doing a little better to educate our children when it comes to sex. According to NewsOK.com:
The number of teen births and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) has prompted concern among administrators with state and local health departments.
Statewide, 21,307 cases of sexually transmitted diseases, including 20 cases of HIV, were reported among those ages 15 to 19 in 2012, according to the state Health Department.
“Based on the STD rate that we’re seeing in adolescents, it’s obvious that there’s an educational need regarding sexual health,” said Kristen Eberly, who manages the Health Department’s HIV and STD programs.
“When we talk to newly diagnosed individuals, oftentimes they tell us they didn’t know they’re putting themselves at risk for HIV because they were never taught how to protect themselves.”
Although teen birthrates across the country continue to decline, Oklahoma still has one of the highest teen birthrates in the country, said Thad Burk, who studies disease and analyzes trends for the Health Department.
Statewide, there were 47.8 births per 1,000 females ages 15 to 19 in 2011, the fifth-highest rate in the country, Burk said. In Oklahoma County the birthrate was 56.2.
Oklahoma is one of the only states that does not mandate school districts to provide comprehensive health education, which includes sex education.
“I think if you look at simply the birthrates, you can say that yes, there is a need for more comprehensive sexuality education,” said Linsey Garlington, teen pregnancy prevention program supervisor for the Oklahoma City-County Health Department. “We believe that parents are the first and most important educators of their children. We hope that they’re getting information from a trusted adult.”
Happy first Monday in December! As you well know, a lot happened this weekend. First, we gorged ourselves on some lame bird and pie, and then pretty much all the mommies in your Facebook feed went shopping immediately after. If I see another damn picture of a leftovers casserole as well as a pile of presents with the caption “finished all my shopping for the holiday!!!” I’m gonna delete my Facebook. Thank goodness for Twitter though. I found all the tweets of people unapologetically gorging themselves and then knocking out a complete stranger for bargains. Check them out after the jump!
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