Let’s talk about the Thunder a little bit, readers. I think we can all agree that we’re fans. It’s great when a Thunder game comes on TV. I wish I could watch the Thunder on TV all the time. Hell, I’d even settle for watching the Norman Chrysler Jeep and Dodge commercial where Perk refuses to sing that googy song on a loop. But wouldn’t it be even better if there were more Thunder-related program options? I think so. That’s why I’ve made a list of possible Thunder television shows. These would most likely air on KSBI and make for some great family-oriented shows that all Thunder fans could enjoy. Plus, the production team from Thunderstruck is probably just itching to get the gang back together to film a heartwarming tale!
The Milkman’s Babies
This show would be a reality show centered around the lives of Kendrick and Vanity Perkins, as well as their two sons. We’d get to see Kendrick eating all the foods he tweets about (like Philly cheese steaks and Waffle House), Kendrick Jr. win some Tae Kwon Do trophies, baby Kenxton look like a miniature version of Questlove (seriously, he does), and of course, Vanity terrorizing all the nail techs in the greater OKC Metro area.
Rumble and Digi
This show would start out with the theme song from Laverne and Shirley. Each week, we’d get to see the antics of Rumble the Bison and the Cox Digi as they share a downtown loft apartment. Sure, they argue about how Rumble’s hair clogs up the bathtub drain and Digi always fills up the DVR with episodes of How It’s Made and does that weird robot twerk dance, but through it all, they’re just a couple of friends. Scott Brooks would have a cameo appearance as their landlord.
Good Friday, readers. Not that it’s Good Friday, it’s just a Friday to be good on. And the Friday itself is good. But speaking of religiousy sorts of days, Fat Tuesday is coming up. I hope you have your beads and booze ready. If not, this is the perfect weekend to stock up. Of if you plan to head to New Orleans next week, you may want to spend the next couple of days strengthening your liver. You don’t want to be that lame-o that can’t hang.
Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.
Quick! Name a ballet that isn’t Swan Lake or The Nutcracker. You can’t. You know why? Because you’re incredibly uncultured, and that’s probably why you read this blog. (No offense, we value our readership, but we totally know what your demographic is—not so much The Wife of Bath and more Real Housewives of Whatever. But that’s why we’re here, readers, to expand your tastes and make you a more well-rounded individual. I know that’s why you tune in on Fridays. You want to be a better person.
This weekend, the Oklahoma City Ballet is presenting Paris Rouge, a ballet inspired by the original ballet and the two Moulin Rouge films. And if a ballet inspired by the exploits of French prostitutes wasn’t enough for you, a 0.25 carat solitaire necklace will be given away during each performance. And you can take pictures in the Paris Rouge-themed photobooth in the lobby before the show. Come on, dudes. Up your Valentine’s Day game this year. The Oklahoma City Ballet can help you.
When I think of teenagers, I usually think of all the contributions they make, like their charm and wit, as well as their perspective and sense of propriety. Just kidding. I don’t think these things. And if you know me at all, you know that I’m not a fan of teenagers. If I see a group of them nearby, I avoid them at all costs. Not because they have cooties, but most likely because they’re going to steal my handbag and then use my credit cards to buy bath salts and tons of neon-colored rubber bracelets.
When I think of Edmond teens, I remember my days back at good ol’ ENHS. It wasn’t so long ago that I, myself, was a teen. I still remember it as if I were still crying in bathroom stalls and getting rocks thrown at me for refusing to help a bully cheat on a science test. But perhaps what I remember most about being an Edmond teen was thinking that I was poor, only to grow up and realize how incredibly well off my family is, just not in Edmond terms.
Allow me to clarify. In the parking lot at ENHS, there were plenty of normal cars, like my Toyota Carolla. But there were also Land Rovers, Hummers, so many Mustangs you wouldn’t believe it, a Mercedes, and quite a few BMWs. It goes without saying that none of these cars belonged to the teachers. So it’s easy to see how my perception of money could be skewed. That’s why I thought it was odd that the Oklahoma Department of Commerce would stage a “poverty simulation” with Edmond teens.
According to NewsOK.com:
The flu has been a pretty big deal this year. I have known several people to catch it, though try as I might, I haven’t contracted it myself. (I’ve been trying to lose 30 pounds for the past year. I think the flu would really kick start my diet way better than eating less and exercising more ever could.) Even our Patrick was struck with the illness. I can’t turn on my TV without hearing a newscaster reminding me to get a flu shot or to wash my hands. I find it odd that they would remind me to wash my hands, because mostly adults watch the news, and you can’t consider yourself a grownup unless you know about the importance of washing your hands.
Well, there have been 3 more flu-related deaths reported in Oklahoma, bringing the total to 17. Yes, that’s right. Much like Lavinia Swire, Okies have succumbed to the flu. And I honestly don’t know what to do about it. I mean, how many more times can Walgreens advertise that they have flu shots? And how many more times can your office administrator set out a large jug of hand sanitizer and remind the office to use it liberally? HOW MANY MORE PEOPLE HAVE TO DIE, OKLAHOMA?! I’m almost rethinking my commitment to my flu diet plan. Almost.
Now, I’ve studied enough epidemiology in my life to know that a few things must be happening. And I’m prepared to share them with you readers. Pay attention, because these are the only reasons that can explain why the flu is so bad this year.
It’s finally Friday, again, readers, which means we are at yet another weekend. I know how you enjoy your weekends. And I’ve got a list of things for you to do so that you’re guaranteed not to get stuck in the house doing chores all day because that would just be awful. Plus, I hear tell that the weather is going to warm up a little bit. Won’t that be nice? And, since it’s officially been one month since New Year’s Day, that means you can finally go off that lame diet that didn’t allow you to drink beer or eat cheese fries. Trust, your friends are tired of you ordering a house salad and vodka soda when you all go out.
Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town!
The majority of my life has been spent not getting invited to all the cool parties. Or, sometimes I do get invited to those parties but then I have to work because I have a job that does not recognize my need to party. Either way, I’m chronically left out. Which is totally fine because I didn’t want to go the cool kid parties anyway. But the best thing to come out of not being invited to the cool kid parties is when you make your own party and it’s way better than anything those lame-o cool kids could ever think up.
Case in point: The Unspoken Ball. Chances are you didn’t get invited to the Speaker’s Ball because you don’t know the right people nor can you afford to pay off the necessary parties to get in. But Representative Joe Dorman has you covered. Meet him tonight at JJ’s Saloon for local music and tasty drinks. All the proceeds that don’t go to cover the cost of the bands and the bar will go directly to Oklahoma programs benefiting people with autism. There’s also going to be an auction where some sweet TLO swag will go to the right bidder.
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