It was a busy week on social media. There were tweets and hashtags and trending topics. June has come and gone, leaving us with a whole slew of tweets about how hot it is. Luckily, you guys haven’t been posting pictures of your car thermometers (yet), and that’s a good thing. Remember, when you get the urge to say something mundane on Twitter, know that I’m watching, and I want for nothing more than to make you look and feel like an asshole on this blog.
Speaking of assholes, this week’s tweets are after the jump.
Is there a day that goes by that Oklahoma isn’t bestowed some sort of prestigious award? I mean, it’s a great place to live, and we are constantly raising the bar for excellence amongst states that have panhandles. But last week, OKC really put our state on the map (that it was actually already on).
In case you missed it, Oklahoma is a great place to be if you can’t legally rent a car, afford to drink anything that isn’t Miller High Life, or get laid. According to Moneyunder30.com, Oklahoma City is the tenth best city to be young, broke, and single! From the article:
I would like to start my first MMT off by saying that on the inside, I’m the meanest girl in school. Sure, I’m a nerd and nobody wants to invite me to parties and I’m socially awkward and I’m always two inches from having the popular kids pour pigs blood on me at prom (metaphorically). But much like Carrie, I’ve learned how to get revenge. Unfortunately, my malicious telekinesis, much like my boobs, is underdeveloped at best. So, I like to make fun of popular kids. I know, it’s gross. I should just get over it. but I can’t. And I won’t. So, just so we’re clear: Henceforth, MMT will kind of be me making fun of people who are prettier, smarter, richer, and happier than me. I will not stop until I’m the Joan Rivers of Oklahoma.
Check out this week’s tweets after the jump!
Well, readers, like the pothead who signed your yearbook, I’d just like to say what a long, strange trip it’s been. We’ve had our highs and lows. I told you what to do each weekend for the past 3 years, as well as confided in you all the times I’ve gotten semi-naked in public. I’ve made lame jokes, I’ve made really good jokes, and you haven’t laughed at any of them. But I like to think I brought a certain level of gentleness to the table, the likes of which will never be duplicated on FNITBT. So it is with great pleasure that I relinquish this feature to a new, up and coming somebody. May it give you all the joy that it gave me. And remember, you can catch me on Monday for Monday Morning Tweets.
Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.
You know what my super power is? I can fall asleep any time, anywhere, in any position. I don’t even have to be tired. This is pretty cool when I need to get some sleep before work. This, however, is pretty bad when I’m at work. I mean, I have some pretty cat-like reflexes and can snap right up when my boss comes in. But still, I’m not looking forward to the day when I get called into the supervisor’s office to explain why I was sleeping on the job.
OKC Improv probably didn’t have my super power in mind when they came up with this show. But at least someone is finally answering what super heroes do when they aren’t on the job. I mean, other than getting their tights dry cleaned. There are show times at 8 and 10 PM on both Friday and Saturday. And you can finally find out what Superman does alone on the couch when Lois Lane has gone off to bed.
Being a college student in the digital age is pretty tough. Not only are you expected to type up all your assignments as well as turn them in to an online Dropbox, you’re also supposed to get off social media and Netflix long enough to complete said assignments. Our parents had it so easy when the only distractions available were television and vinyl LPs. But perhaps the toughest thing about being a student these days is the temptation to cheat the system.
Sure, you can straight up copy and paste from one article directly into your paper. But professors are hip to that, and many have software that not only recognizes text, but can tell them exactly where it comes from. (You can always mitigate this by using block quotes, kids.) So what is there for a student to do to get ahead? I guess you could be like Roja Osman Hamad and break into OU’s computer system to change your grades.
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