I won’t lie to you. Two things happened last week and they are the two things that make me want to delete all my social media. There was a winter icy storm situation, which I’m sure you experienced. And then, there was a person who said something in a very public forum that their company didn’t approve of and that person got suspended and a bunch of people were all up in arms and completely unaware about the particular freedom that the First Amendment guarantees. Basically, it was hellish because you couldn’t look at anything without being bombarded by political opinions, pictures of ice on patio furniture, and the occasional super creepy Elf on the Shelf thing. But I found all the other tweets. All of them! They’re here, as always, after the jump.
A fun fact about me is that I was raised on quotes from The Godfather I and II. Rather than rely on Sesame Street or Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood to illustrate the important moral lessons, I was taught to never take sides against the family, and to leave the gun and take the cannolis. My parents also think it’s funny to address my Christmas gifts to “Fredo.” So, whether it’s The Godfather or Goodfellas or Boardwalk Empire–I love me some organized crime in my entertainment. Would I like to encounter organized crime in real life? No. Absolutely not. But that might be about to change.
From the most trusted name in news, Buzzfeed:
The weekend is over, and that can only mean one thing. It’s Monday. And instead of sitting at your desk nursing a Sunday fun day hangover, you should nurse a Sunday fun day hangover AND read some of the best tweets the past week had to offer. As always, I’ve got them right here for your, lovingly curated and with razor-sharp witty commentary. Seriously, the laughs ahead will make up for the fact that you squandered the past weekend and didn’t get any Christmas shopping done. Check them out after the jump!
The recent weather has really helped me understand character motivations in Game of Thrones. I mean, they know winter is coming, and we have meteorologists telling us what’s going to happen with the weather. They have white walkers and we have people in Crocs getting their cars stuck. They have the Night’s Watch guarding the wall, and for the majority of the past weekend, we had officers not responding to non-injury accidents. It’s basically the same thing.
But I’m glad we don’t have the rampant cutthroat characters that populate Westeros. I couldn’t handle it, and I know that if we did, I would be a character analogously similar to the prostitute that Joffrey beats to death. Luckily for me, our crime is more Three Stooges than anything else. According to KFOR.com:
All right. Let’s get down to business. This past week was insane. I mean, Bedlam, snowmageddon, and an earthquake? Social media basically exploded. That, and the fact that a lot of you were off work and free to tweet to your hearts’ content.
Lands. Opens twitter feed. Everyone: SNOWEARTHQUAKEBEDLAMCOLD
— Rusty Surette (@rustysurette) December 7, 2013
Are you tired of hearing about all these things yet? It doesn’t matter. Like always, I’m here to beat that dead horse just a little harder than you thought possible. This week’s tweets are after the jump.
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