Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Marisa – Page 19

9 reasons I hold a grudge against Edmond

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Ah, Edmond. It’s a nice, quiet city, the sort of place you want to raise your kids. Unless you were raised there, that is. If you grew up there, you know the ambivalence I’m talking about. Edmond may be home, but you sure as hell don’t tell anyone that when you grow up and go to college. I always thought I wanted to leave Oklahoma, but when I moved out of Edmond, I didn’t feel the urge to do so anymore.

Edmond is the Plano to Oklahoma City’s Dallas–suburban sprawl and mini malls to cater to the most discerning of upper middle class taste. My feelings about Edmond are why I started writing for TLO. And today, I’m going to share with you 9 reasons why I hold a grudge against Edmond.

 

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UCO knocked down my great-grandparents’ house

So, little known Marisa fun fact: my family was from Edmond before Edmond was Edmond, by which I mean before white flight made Edmond the Edmond it is today. My great grandparents owned a house on property that was bought out by Central State University, later UCO. Now, I know that they bought the land from my great-grandparents, and then demolished the house. But as a little kid, I always imagined my pappy and my granny (yeah, that’s what we called them) fleeing for their lives as a wrecking ball swung toward them. To this day, I still cast a wary eye at UCO, lest they come for me.

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$100 senior prom

Monday Morning Tweets

Good morning, haters, and a happy Monday to all. If you work for the state or federal government or a bank, chances are you’re off work today. You should enjoy your sunny Monday by attending the MLK Day parade, and by not setting grassfires. If you’re at work, I feel bad for you. I have the day off, but at my new job, I never work on Mondays. It’s the best.

Anyway, since it is Monday, I’ve got some tweets for you to enjoy. So sit back, relax, and read on. As always, the tweets are after the jump!

Some kids want to solve the mystery of an old wedding dress

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One of the cornerstones of adulthood is the realization that there are no fairytales. There is no knight in shining armor, kissing frogs probably just gives you warts, and happily ever after generally means arguing with your spouse about money and how to raise the kids for the rest of your life. Sure, Disney can paint a pretty picture, but girl, if some strange dude tries to kiss you while you’re sleeping, you should probably hit him and alert the proper authorities.

Every once in a while, kids have to grow up a little too fast and they find out that those fairytales aren’t real. It’s a shame, but it happens. And it actually just happened to some kids in Edmond. According to KFOR.com:

EDMOND, Okla – It is an ongoing investigation for a group of students at a local elementary school.

A group of fourth graders at St. Mary’s recently found a wedding dress near a pond close to their school.

Now, they are trying to find out who it belongs to.

Head investigators Marley Hall and her partner Sam Mooney are working to crack the case.

“Some people thought that it might have been a crime scene,” 4th grade student Marley Hall said. “But we don’t think so.”

Honestly, those puffy sleeves make me think that someone just wanted to throw it away. Which is totally justifiable. I mean, look at it. Those yellowed sequins are old enough to understand that mommy and daddy aren’t going to get back together, and you’re just going to have to deal with having two Christmases every year.

Monday Morning Tweets

Happy Monday and welcome to this, your Monday Morning Tweets. We have been puttering along through the dreary, gray deathscape that is an Oklahoma January, and there is no end in sight. But, whatever. In about 6 months I’ll be complaining about how stupid hot it is in Oklahoma and how there’s no end in sight. But the weather is always the worst, regardless of what it actually is.

Anyway, as always, I have some tweets for you to peruse in order to kick off your week. Right here, after the jump, of course!

The 12 Best Places to Work in Oklahoma If You Want to Impress Someone

When you meet a new person, what’s the first thing they ask you? It’s like they have to know what you do to earn money before they feel comfortable judging you as a person. In my single days, I often told dudes at bars that I was a professional hit woman. No one believed it, but they generally laughed and bought me a beer. But I digress.

The job market in Oklahoma is small, so it can sometimes feel like there are only a handful of places to work. Regardless of what they say about the job market in OKC, I don’t think it’s as full of opportunities as some would have you believe. That’s why there are only a few places that it’s cool to work. And, if you’re like me and you don’t work for those places, it’s cool to lie.

So, without further ado, here are the 10 best places to say you work for….

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1. Devon/Chesapeake

In my head, these are pretty much the same company. One has a terrifying tower, and another has a college-style campus. Both companies sponsor the hell out of things we enjoy, and both are pretty down with defiling the Earth in the name of profit. Any way you slice it, both are places that really impress others when you say you work for them. (Trust me, I’ve done it.) Which is really weird to me because almost everyone I know who works for those companies has either cheated on their spouses or amassed an impressive collection of DUIs. But I’m sure both of these companies are just as good and upstanding as they portray themselves to be.

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2. Sonic

When I was a child, I had two career ambitions: I wanted to be a writer like Beverly Cleary because Ramona Quimby was a badass, and I also wanted to be a Sonic carhop because I really wanted one of those change dispensers on my belt. Flash forward to now, and I see that I should’ve put the carhop dream in front of writing. (It’s infinitely more lucrative.) And, if we’re being completely honest, it probably would look better on a resume. Who even cares if Sonic is the one restaurant that always manages to get hair in your food, regardless of location? People are impressed when you tell them that you’re the gatekeeper for those thousand-some-odd drink combinations.

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3. Saxum PR

This is just so you can make those cool 40 Under 40 lists.