Happy first Monday in December! As you well know, a lot happened this weekend. First, we gorged ourselves on some lame bird and pie, and then pretty much all the mommies in your Facebook feed went shopping immediately after. If I see another damn picture of a leftovers casserole as well as a pile of presents with the caption “finished all my shopping for the holiday!!!” I’m gonna delete my Facebook. Thank goodness for Twitter though. I found all the tweets of people unapologetically gorging themselves and then knocking out a complete stranger for bargains. Check them out after the jump!
It’s that time of year when we all get a little bit more thankful in a super disingenuous and only on Facebook sort of way. It’s totally cool. I get it. An integral part of stuffing your face with four helpings of mashed potatoes is showing what a good person you are by being grateful for things and people that you passive-aggressively complain about the rest of the year.
Regardless of how you feel about them, family is something that it’s appropriate to be thankful for at this time of year. Family, and especially grandparents are a blessing. Even if they get your 4-year old stoned right before pre-K. According to NewsOK.com:
EDMOND — An Edmond 4-year-old’s grandmother and great aunt are accused of smoking marijuana in front of the child, police said.
Sandra Martinez, 53, and Peggy Pierman, 52, were arrested Friday on complaints of possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia, Edmond police spokeswoman Jennifer Monroe said.
An Edmond officer was called to Cross Timbers Elementary School, 4800 N Kelly Ave., to check on a prekindergarten student who was acting lethargic. The officer said the 4-year-old’s clothes smelled of marijuana and his eyes did not look normal, Monroe said.
Officers talked to Martinez, the grandmother, and Pierman, the great-aunt, after they drove to school to pick up the boy. The women told officers the boy spent the night at Martinez’s house, Monroe said.
The boy was put in his mother’s custody. His mother was not involved in the incident.
Martinez and Pierman were taken to the Edmond jail.
Happy Monday after a weathery weekend! That means we’ve got some pretty sweet weather tweets gathered here for you just in case you didn’t get enough weather updates over the weekend. But that’s not all. Beyonce and Jay-Z showed up at a Thunder game, and OKC will never be the same again. Suffice it to say it was a busy week on social media. I’ve gathered up the tweets that are guaranteed to make great water cooler conversation on this dreary Monday. Check them out after the jump!
As a woman, I know that my self-worth and the worth that society ascribes to me completely hinges upon the presence of a hymen. Berry Tramel knows this, too. At least that’s what I assume after watching this promo clip for “Worth the Wait,” where Berry talks about the sexual purity of his blessed daughter:
It’s Monday again. And I’m going to make my stock jokes about Mondays. Kind of like when I wrote FNITBT and made my stock jokes about getting drunk with my parents while playing beer pong. Honestly, if you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m totally a one trick pony. Just one trick. It’s all I have. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t read the rest of Monday Morning Tweets. Our local tweets are pure quality, and totally make up for my lack of enthusiasm in writing this intro. Now, on to the tweets! As always, they are after the jump.
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