Happy Monday, and let’s settle in. A lot of tweeting happened last week because of the new iPhone, the State Fair, the anniversary of 9/11, and the weather got cool for like 2 days. So, upside–lots to cover. Downside–still no tweets from Deano. But that’s okay because Paul Folger totally made a pizza from scratch on Instagram, so I’m going to need you to settle in and get to reading.
As always, this week’s tweets are after the jump.
Not to be one of “those” girls, but it’s the most wonderful time of the year. To be clear, I don’t care about pumpkin spice flavored things (GINGERBREAD TIL I’M DEAD) nor do I ever wear a Halloween costume. I just like fall. I’m really in it for the haunted houses/hay rides/forests. My first career goal was to be an actor in a haunted house. That hasn’t really panned out. Like most of my life.
But, as with all good things that we truly enjoy, religion is trying to ruin haunted houses for everyone by turning them into gross morality plays to scare kids into being good people. Because that’s how you make someone good–scare tactics.
Anyway, according to NewsOK.com:
Happy Monday, everyone. How are we doing? Good? Have you noticed that I’ve been writing this here column for a while now (I’m not sure how long, the Mondays all run together) and I still haven’t figured out a good, graceful way to introduce this column every week? Typically I reference hangovers at least once, and sleeping at my desk–both things I do every Monday. And other days of the week as well. I wish I had more to offer, but I do not. I guess I could make small talk.
Anyone see Boardwalk Empire last night? No?
Anyway, I guess you should just read these tweets. That’s why you’re here. As always, this week’s tweets are after the jump.
We made it so far into this summer without me writing my annual anti-White Water Bay rant. I bet you guys thought you were off scot-free. Well, you aren’t. With 20 days left until fall officially begins, I bring you a story about the third happiest place on Reno, after Night Trips and H&H Gun Range, of course.
Now, lest you think I’m going to bring up the time a dirty used band-aid floated into my mouth in the Lazy River like I did here, here, and here, I will not. But go back and read those stories. Because I have literally been to White Water twice in my life and it was so traumatic that I can really only think about the things that I profiled in all three of these posts.
Anyway, an incident occurred at White Water where a lady “almost drowned” in the wave pool, but she was saved by her hero son. The clip from News 9 is worth watching:
If you’re joining us today, it means that you survived the OKC Purge of 2014. I’m glad you’re still with us. Let’s take a moment and remember those we lost.
Just kidding. We didn’t lose anyone because Twitter is simultaneously the best social network and also full of hoaxes. Remember when Jeff Goldblum died? Yeah. Don’t trust anything you read on Twitter. Unless it’s from me or any of the various TLO accounts. Everything we tell you there is absolutely true. And you can bet that our commentary on the tweets of others is completely spot on. We are the most trusted name in Monday Morning Tweets.
As always, those tweets are after the jump!
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