Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Marisa – Page 20

Monday Morning Tweets: Kelly Ogle wants a mullet

Here we are again, another Monday morning. And while your work day is totally going to suck, at least I’ve brought you the tweets you need to read in order to get your day on the right track. I haven’t included any OKC mayoral race candidate tweets, because that election is nowhere near happening and I’m totally already burned out on it. Maybe I’ve seen The Wire too many times, but I can’t help but wonder which of the candidates will be our Tommy Carcetti. Also, I spend a lot of time looking for the region of OKC that would most closely resemble Hamsterdam. Anyway, this week’s tweets are after the jump.

Rep. Markwayne Mullin really doesn’t like it when people eat


I’m sure that it has crossed your mind on many occasions that the individuals elected to office in no way represent you or your interests. Suffice it to say that politicians generally have no idea what the people want, so much so, that I’m almost positive that many Oklahoma politicians simply say things to please the grumpy old white men who wandered over to their town hall meetings after running errands at the Tractor Supply. This is not to say that we don’t have some gems in the bunch, because we do. I just think at times, we have more caricatures of ideologies in office than we have real people.

Hence, Markwayne Mullin. Mullin is a Republican representative for Oklahoma’s second congressional district whose first name is literally Markwayne. He also owns a plumbing company that took a hefty chunk of stimulus dollars for a job, though Markwayne is totally against that. Also, for a businessman, Markwayne kind of doesn’t know math. Like, at all. From a story on thinkprogress.org:

Monday Morning Tweets: Steve takes on the Cherokee Nation

It’s been one hell of a week out there. And I have the tweets to prove it. Can I just say that I can’t wait until football season when we get all the drunk tweets that tell Bob Stoops and Mike Gundy exactly what they need to do in order to win games? Those are my favorite. Nothing like someone typing “run the ball bob” into their phone to let you know that they could really take OU to a championship. Anyway, we don’t have any of those tweets yet. This week’s tweets are after the jump.

A man brought dead chinchillas into a zoo


In the seventh grade, my science teacher had a chinchilla in her classroom that you could take home on the weekends if you signed up to do so. Everyone was pretty keen on it, what with us being super nerds and not the cool sort of 13-year olds who were smoking pot. One weekend, the major booger eater in our grade took the chinchilla home and when she brought it back, it was dead. Some of the girls cried about it, and many accused the booger eater of killing it (the suspected murder weapon was boogers, which is probably not a very good way to kill a chinchilla). Our science teacher ruled it as old age, and there was no more classroom pet. Because of that experience, I now associate chinchillas with foul play, regardless of the cause of death for that particular creature.

And it would seem that the fine folks at the GW Interactive Zoological Park in Wynnewood probably now associate chinchillas with foul play too. According to a story on KFOR.com:

Monday Morning Tweets: Mary Fallin is a biker now

Welcome to another edition of Monday Morning Tweets. I’ve spent a lot of time and energy (that my supervisor doesn’t know about) combing through these tweets to bring you the best and the brightest of the Oklahoma Twitter elite. I would’ve included myself on this list, but the last time I did a post about all my own tweets, Patrick made me redo it. Even though my mom and dad think I’m the coolest kid ever. Go figure.

This week’s tweets are after the jump!