What’s up, readers? It’s that time of the week again, and I think you know what I’m about to tell you. So sit down and settle in. There are things happening this weekend. Though, if you’ve been off work since Wednesday, I imagine you’re probably still at some lake getting skin cancer and peeing in the water. And that’s fine. That’s totally a viable option. But if you aren’t using state parks as your restroom, pay attention.
Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.
Blackberries are my number one favorite berry. Raspberries are number two, snozzberries are number three (I don’t know what they are but I’ve heard that they taste like snozzberries) and then strawberries are number four. I don’t rank any berries beyond this. This berry hierarchy may seem absurd, but seriously, ask anyone who knows me. They’ve heard this ranking system before.
The people of McCloud must feel the same as I do about blackberries because they have a whole festival devoted to them. Either that or McCloud grows a lot of blackberries. They have a parade, a car show, a poker run, an amateur talent night, a baking contest, and a pageant. So if you like blackberries as much as me and McCloud, this is your weekend.
If there was one thing I was obsessed with as a child, it was being a pioneer. I read Little House on the Prairie and revered it the way that some revere the Bible. Any game of pretend I played with my friends involved us being pioneers and living in a sod house. My favorite fieldtrip in elementary school was when we got to go to Harn Homestead because it meant dressing up like a pioneer and sitting in an old school house all day. Yes, readers, I was a nerd from way back.
Now if you fast forward 20 years to the person I am today, I can’t stand to not have air-conditioning, my iPhone never leaves my hand, and the thought of life without NetFlix leaves me panic-stricken and unable to think straight. I mean, can you imagine a world without a refrigerator or Smart Water or lattes or Steve Madden shoes? I’m having heart palpitations just thinking about it.
But apparently some people are down with the horse and wagon lifestyle. A man known as Lee the Horselogger is currently making his way across the state doing it Laura Ingalls Wilder-style. He’s also sassing poor Scott Hines.
From KFOR.com: (link is dead for some reason)
What’s up, readers? Happy Friday morning to you! I like how this summer everyone hates the idea of posting a picture of the temperature display in your dashboard. It makes my Facebook feed a little less clogged up. Except for after the Supreme Court ruling yesterday, it appears as if everyone is a Constitutional scholar, and won’t stop posting pictures of The Hunger Games to show just how close we are from that YA dystopia that all the kids are reading about. It’s probably time to shut down the ol’ FB now.
Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town!
Just for clarification, Ron White isn’t the one that says “you might be a redneck,” or the one that says “get ‘er done” or the one that says “here’s your sign.” He is the blue collar comedy guy who is known as “Tater Salad.” I hope that helps you when you’re trying to figure out which comedian he is when you go see him at Lucky Star Casino on Saturday for his Moral Compass Tour.
Now what is that, you say? You’re a huge Ron White fan? Well, you can purchase a special “200 Proof” VIP experience! For the low price of $195, you will be seated in the first five rows, get the opportunity to go to the meet and greet, get to ask Ron a question, receive a picture with Ron, as well as a month-long membership to Ron’s fan club. If you were to ask me if dreams really do come true, I’d point you to this deal. Because they do.
Apparently this Friday, Mr. Metta World Peace himself will be in Oklahoma, and he will be here to party. This furthers my theory that Oklahoma knows how to party way harder than LA, if only because I have never met an Oklahoman that wasn’t down to shotgun a beer at a moment’s notice.
But I think it’s important to note that this could potentially be more momentous than partying. I say it’s time that we all bury that Harden Hatchet. Sure, Metta World Peace elbowed the Sixth Man of the Year in the head and gave him a concussion, but I say it’s time we let bygones be bygones. It’s time for us to embrace one another as human brethren in the true spirit of Metta’s name—World Peace.
Happy Friday, readers. If you’re like me, you’re still misty-eyed from the game last night, but also excited for next year. And you’re also a little disappointed that football season is coming up, because let’s face it. Basketball is way more exciting than football. Also, I work weekends so that means I’m going to miss literally every game. There is a sports-sized hole in my heart, y’all. Maybe I should take up disc golf or something.
Anyway, here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town.
June 22: Welcome home your OKC Thunder!
I’m sad to say the season is over, though I am glad to say it means I can start going to bed on time and not hang out in bars on nights when the game is playing. If you ask me, this was one of the greatest sports seasons on record simply because it felt like we were all together for this. There was no rivalry within the state, so the whole Team is One thing really made sense and was something you could feel every time you watched a game, especially as the finals approached.
I couldn’t be more proud of the Oklahoma City Thunder, even if they were my own children. Though I’ve been an avid OU football fan my whole life, this is different. I’m way more attached to the Thunder because I know they aren’t going to leave after their college career is over. And while I know that these players can be traded at any time, I feel like these guys are here to stay, and they’re now part of my family. Being a sports fan gives me all sorts of weird feelings. If you have these feelings too and can get off work, head to the airport around 2 PM. Welcome back our boys.
Thanks! Your message has been sent!