Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Marisa – Page 20

Monday Morning Tweets: P.T. Barnum and METHODS

This week, a lot of stuff went down. The fair started and everyone and their brother had an opinion about the whole OSU Sports Illustrated thing. Personally, I would be more offended if there wasn’t a shady and underhanded thing going on at OSU. Let’s be honest here. It’s an NCAA sports program. Of course there is backhanded dealings. And if the allegations are true, isn’t that more a testament to our generous Oklahoma hospitality than a crime that should be punished? Maybe that’s just me. Anyhow, the tweets are after the jump.

9 job opportunities for laid off Chesapeake Energy employees…

chesapeake sign

One of the inevitable anxieties associated with being employed is the constant threat of being laid off. And that really goes double for people with a social media presence like mine. Sure, the economy is getting better and the Great Recession doesn’t figure so prominently into our financial situations anymore. But the fact remains that losing a job is still tough, and companies have to cut employees all the time. This goes for small business and big businesses. And we, as the peons, must accept this, lest we all go about starting small businesses. And you can ask any housewife from Newcastle or Enid who has opened a shop that primarily sells leopard/zebra print items with hot pink feather trim—running a business is tough.

But what happens when a company that employs a lot of people suddenly lets some of them go after lots of speculation? According to Kfor.com:

OKLAHOMA CITY — The normally peaceful campus of Chesapeake Energy has been disturbed by swirling rumors of layoffs. Tuesday the company finally confirmed it was restructuring in an email sent to employees.

Though the company won’t confirm how many people will be let go, sources tell NewsChannel 4, the number could reach 2,000 before its all said and done.

Let me just say that I feel for you guys. Losing a job sucks. I would totally buy each and every one of you a beer to cheer you up, except you worked at Chesapeake so 1. ) you aren’t used to dive barring it on my level, and 2.) you guys drink really stupid beers. (Yes, Stella Artois and Kronenbourg 1664 are dumb beers. Quit putting on airs when you’re drinking the flavor equivalent of Bud.) Instead, I’ll do you one better. I’ll help you find a new job!

After working for a company that doesn’t really value individuality or creativity in any form (Full disclosure: none of them actually do, but the recruiters really like to tell you that, don’t they?), it’s time for you venture out. That’s right. There’s a world out there that doesn’t look like a J. Crew ad. There’s a world where you can show off your tattoos. There’s a world where you don’t have to participate in fitness challenges to get bonuses and such! Sure, it’s not as clean or college campus-like. But, it’s your world now. And I’ve made a list of some of the best new career options for you!

Monday Morning Tweets: GOTR and Abigail Ogle’s new job

Happy Monday, everyone. It’s a good day for you to head back to work and pretend to do your job while you read these tweets I’ve compiled for you. So spend some extra time in the break room making your coffee, then cuddle up in your chair and make sure your coworkers can’t see your monitor. If we’re being completely honest, it’s not like anyone in the office is actually doing work until around 10 AM anyway. So take your time getting down to business this morning, and enjoy these tweets, which are, as always, located after the jump!

What Oklahomans look for during their private time on the Internet…

69219-field-flower-horses

< Editor’s Note: To make this post comply with the high standards of a certain web behemoth’s moralistic ad robots, we’ve edited out certain words and replaced them with other words. I’ll let you figure out what. – Patrick >

I want everyone to know that I will never judge a person as an individual for what they’re interested in when it comes to sexy times. I mean, if I’m being completely honest, there is a special place in my fantasies for Al Pacino circa 1972, as well as Fred Durst circa 1998. And if that Durst affinity is any indicator, I’m no stranger to what can be referred to as “dirty.” So that’s why I feel like I’m the perfect person to tell you about what it is your fellow Okies are searching for when it comes to corn. Now, according to The Daily Dot:

Corn site CornDub released a boatload of visit duration and search keyword data last week, and the results are somewhat explicit. Among the information the site’s revealed, we’re now privy to each American state’s top three favorite corn-related search terms, as well as the average length of each state’s visit to the site.

The information reveals a few interesting trends—most notably, the unique interests belonging to certain states, like Kentucky’s love of hentai corn (usually Japanese anime), Wyoming’s fascination with smoking-related sex, and Nevada’s singular interest in a corn star named Janita Qeen. But the rest—Asians, teens, compilations, and a few other terms we probably shouldn’t mention—shouldn’t appear so surprising.

A Redditor took that data and made some pretty sweet infographics. And so, it is with great joy that I bring you the top the three CornHub search times for the great state of Oklahoma!

Monday Morning Tweets: We got in a Twitter spat with Stan Miller

This past week of Twitter was full of college football. While I really wanted to create an entire post with tweets about how strange it was that the Pride of Oklahoma played the theme song from Maude during half time, I’m not going to do it. Unless Patrick says I can. In which case, expect another MMT later today. But anyway, this week’s tweets are after the jump!

TLO Twitter Spat with Stan Miller:

It all started when some person decided to randomly troll KWTV 9 Morning Anchor Stan Miller on Twitter. You may remember Stan as the two-time winner of our “Worst Anchorman” category in the Worst of OKC or the man with a pretty smile: