Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Patrick

Rep. Paul Wesselhoft likes the word Anchor Baby… in private

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The old geezer pictured above who has probably sold carpet at one point in his centuries-long life is State Rep. Paul Wesselhoft. He’s from Moore and one of the leading members of our state’s Derplahoman caucus. He was also named Furr’s Fresh Buffet Customer of the Month last July.

We first told you about Wesselhoft in May of 2014 when he hopped on Facebook to complain about our politically correct society, and in the process, take advantage of his first amendment rights to use the N-word in historical context. He did this because there’s nothing old white racists love more than to find a new excuse to publicly use the N-word and show how far the rest of us have advanced as a society. Why should their rights to look like ignorant asshole fools be trampled by the PC Police?

Paul Wesselhöft n-word

Anyway, Wesselhoft has apparently now found a new word to use as the rallying cry against political correctness. That word is anchor baby. According to KFOR, he posted it 32 times on Facebook. Here’s a screenshot:

Jim Inhofe is still an idiot (Part VI)

Senate Holds Confirmation Hearing For Chuck Hagel For Secretary Of Defense

In this installment of our ongoing series “Jim Inhofe Is Still An Idiot,” we’re taking a look at some of the comments our senile Senator said about Donald Trump and Barack Obama during a recent trip to Tulsa.

Let’s get to the Trump comments first:

U.S. Sen. Jim Inhofe says he’s the wrong guy to ask about the continued popularity of billionaire presidential candidate Donald Trump.

“I thought it would last about three days and be over,” Inhofe said Wednesday.

“People are really wanting something different,” Inhofe said during a visit to the Tulsa World. “A group of them likes the things he’s saying — and he’ll say anything.”

Uhm, couldn’t you also say the same damn thing about Jim Inhofe? He says some of the most ridiculous things imaginable, but the Chamber of Commerce folks, oil companies and Derplahomans around the state still love him. Seriously, out of all the politicians in Washington, he’s probably the closest thing we have to Donald Trump.

His rant of hypocrisy continues:

The time I was scammed out of $20 and made the Channel 9 news…

patrick lost ogle scam

Pantyhose… Mercedes… $20…

No, that’s not that beginning to our newest installment of Tuttle Tales – Aaron Goes to the Mechanic. Those are three things that helped me achieve my first 15-minutes of fame, and understand what it’s like for the media to deservedly portray you as an absolute idiot.

Recently, I uncovered an old VHS copy of an interview I did with News 9’s Gan Matthews in 1999. It may be one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. Since I almost have no shame, I thought I’d share it with you all today. But first, here’s backstory…

Back when I was 21-years-old, wore awful jeans and didn’t look anything like I do today, I waited tables at the Applebee’s on NW Expressway. Now before you give me the nickname “Riblet” and swear to never read this site again, let me try to justify waiting tables at Applebee’s.

1. This was 1999. In those olden, dial-up times, OKC didn’t have all these cool fancy local restaurants, shops, bars and hipster food foragers. The only time you’d drive to Midtown, the Plaza or even Downtown was to get shot or buy crack. We were a city of restaurant chains. The most popular local eateries at the time were Ted’s, Zio’s and Sonic. In a strange way, I guess Oklahoma City hasn’t changed all that much.

2. Pioneer Pies wasn’t hiring. 

3. This was the first Applebee’s to open in Oklahoma City. In all fairness, I had no clue I was working at the Walmart of casual restaurant chains and that I’d have to call my co-workers “Apple Buddies.” In fact, the only reason I applied is because my friend, Wes, scored a job there a few weeks earlier and they had a hot 18-year-old hostess with big boobs named Katie.

4. It was a college job. I had just finished up my Hall of Fame career at OCCC, and was entering my first semester at UCO. My major was, get this, English Education. For the sake of my checking account and all high school students around this state, thank God I eventually dropped the “education” part. It was too difficult. UCO was all about this stupid “teaching portfolio” thing that requires you to be organized, motivated and take the teaching profession seriously. They were all about preparing teachers to make more money in other states.

5. I looked and acted like this:

Introducing Ogletoberfest – an obscure, local, social beer!


When I started this blog in 2007, I had two goals:

1. Ride a unicorn with Gary England

2. Release a TLO-branded beer

Well, I’m proud to say those goals have finally been accomplished!

Yes, that graphic is totally real. We’ve partnered with our friends at Anthem Brewing to bring you Ogletoberfest – a Vienna-style, Oktoberfest lager packing a perfect blend of malty sweetness and biting snark. The beer will be available on tap as early as next week, and in cans in late September.

I tried the beer in a cheap plastic cup about a month ago before it went into production, and I have to say it’s pretty damn good. If you like Oktoberfests, ambers, brown ales, etc, it’s right up your alley. Here’s a pic I took with my phone:

Energy industry is proud of money they’ve spent to “stop” earthquakes…


Earlier this week, the PR wing of The Oklahoman, otherwise known as the paper’s Business section, published a glowing advertorial in support of the local energy industry.

The piece, which was written by former (and apparently current) PR flack Adam Wilmoth, highlights and promotes the millions of dollars the kind and generous Oklahoma energy industry has spent trying to stop and prevent the spread of the earthquakes they are causing.

Via NewsOK.com:

Oil companies in Oklahoma spending millions of dollars to reduce risk of earthquake activity

As part of the effort to understand and reduce the growing earthquake activity throughout much of the state, disposal well operators since March have spent more than $35 million to adjust their wells’ depths with the aim of reducing the risk of contributing to earthquake activity.

The actions came after the Oklahoma Corporation Commission three times this year issued new directives, telling operators in certain “areas of interest” to either adjust their disposal well depths or reduce volumes.

“The industry has done a really good job of cooperating and coordinating with the Corporation Commission,” Commissioner Dana Murphy said this month at the Tri-State Oil and Gas Convention in Woodward. “You’re talking about $150,000 to $250,000 or more for these companies not just to shut down their wells, but to plug them back.”

That’s neat. Aren’t these energy companies swell?! Thanks for being so nice and cooperating with the commission Oklahoma taxpayers created to regulate the industry. Considering energy companies already control state government and can basically do whatever, we really do owe you one. Maybe we can lower the already extremely low tax you all pay to plunder and profit off our state’s resources? We’ll do anything to help you out.

Seriously, isn’t that absurd? They’re seeking sympathy for the $35-million they’ve spent to stop earthquakes that are damaging Oklahomans’ homes, businesses, property and general state of mind. Are we supposed to feel sorry for them? Considering how much revenue these companies produce, $35-million seems like a small price to pay.

The article continues:

While the companies may not be eager to spend millions on unexpected work, they understand the changes are necessary, said Kim Hatfield, chairman of the regulatory committee at the Oklahoma Independent Petroleum Association.

“When your dentist tells you you need a root canal, you may not be happy about it, but you know it’s something you need to do,” Hatfield said. “If we’re cooperating, things get accomplished much more quickly than they might otherwise. We’re looking to accomplish the regulatory goals with as little friction and unnecessary cost as possible.”

Ah, good old Kim Hatfield. He’s the go to source for hypocritical energy industry comments designed to create a false debate regarding the cause of Oklahoma’s earthquakes. I’m not too familiar Kim, but I do know:

A) He lives in a big fancy brick house in Heritage Hills that will be turned to rubble if a strong earthquake ever strikes central Oklahoma.

B) He has a long, storied history of questioning science and distancing the industry from the earthquakes they create. For example, this is what he told KFOR in February of this year when the USGS released a study linking earthquakes to wastewater injection wells: