Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Patrick

Blake Shelton is still a good old country boy…

blake shelton rescue

Out of all the Oklahoma country boys to reach super stardom over the years, Blake Shelton is by far the coolest. He’s not a greedy pig like Garth Brooks. He’s never tried to hunt a Muslim like Toby Keith. And he doesn’t pee sitting down like Vince Gill.

Basically, Blake’s just your good old quintessential Oklahoma country boy. He looks like he was conceived inside a Bass Pro Shops. He loves Jesus, drives a truck, curses, kills animal for sports, drinks a lot of beer and womanizes. What’s not to love?

In addition to all that, Blake is also a hero. Back in June, he rescued some guy who was stuck in flood waters. And just this past week he helped a group of good old Oklahoma country boys from the Ardmore area who got their truck stuck in some mud.

Via Entertainment Tonight:

Russell Westbrook doesn’t want Berry Tramel to get things twisted…

tramel westbrook

About the only thing we learned about OKC during last season’s frustrating, injury-plagued season was Russell Westbrook’s feelings about Berry “Boomer” Tramel. If you remember correctly, they were not very positive.

We first got a glimpse of Russ’ feelings back in January when he intentionally cutoff Old Bullfeathers during a postgame interview:

A month or two later, we were then treated to the very direct “I don’t like you” moment.”

Although we may be in a new Thunder season, it looks like some old grudges remain.

Last night, the Thunder suffered their worst loss of the young season when they were outworked, out-hustled and out-executed by the Boston Celtics. Former OSU star Marcus Smart played especially well in the contest, having a career night while matched-up against one of the best basketball players on the planet.

Berry tried to milk Smart’s performance for all it’s worth by trolling Russell after the game:

Miley Cyrus adopted a dog from Oklahoma and didn’t name it Okie…

Over the weekend, the Oklahoma City Animal Welfare Division had a “mega adoption” event across the city. In total, 176 dogs found kind, loving, nurturing homes. One of them is named Yogi. Here’s a picture…

We like to poke fun at Miley and Wayne for being self-absorbed aloof weirdos with no concept of reality, but that’s cool. Rescued pets are the best pets. Thanks for putting on your nicest marijuana leaf leggings and dismembered finger jacket and adopting a dog from Oklahoma. All I ask is that you please keep him away from your marijuana edibles, acid and “white stuff that looks like milk.” Also, make sure he’s microchipped.

In other news, apparently the OKC Animal Welfare Division will adopt to just about anyone:

“Let’s see. According to the application you’re from out-of-state, travel often and don’t have a permanent residence. Awesome! Which dog would you like?

Actually, I’m just joking around. I’m sure Miley will make a great dog mom. She probably relates more with them than humans. Maybe her next collaboration with Wayne and The Lips will be about her living pets.

As I mentioned, 176 other dogs found new homes. Not all of them were adopted by pop stars who hang out with creepy old men. For example, check out this Hallmark moment:

So, we’re getting another soccer team…

rayo okc

Toot the vuvuzelas and cue the Seven Nation Army. Oklahoma City is getting another minor league soccer team!

Yep, that’s right. Another one. That means we now have two minor league soccer team vying for our love and affection. Big League City, y’all!

In case you missed it, some Spanish club called Rayo Vallecano, along with an ownership group put together by local minor league sports legend Brad Lund, announced they are partnering to bring a North American Soccer League franchise to Oklahoma City. The team will be called Rayo OKC. They will play their home games in Yukon, which is apparently trying to become Oklahoma City’s Arlington.

Via Marka.com:

Raúl Martín Presa, presidente del Rayo Vallecano, habló para la web del club sobre el proyecto iniciado con elRayo Oklahoma City, su primera franquicia para competir enEstados Unidosen laNASL. Al respecto, el máximo mandatario del conjunto vallecano aseguró que el club “lo necesitaba” para seguir creciendo. “El Rayo Oklahoma City es un proyecto en el que llevamos mucho tiempo trabajando y que creemos que necesitaba el Rayo Vallecano. Un club debe saber de dónde viene y a dónde quiere ir. Nosotros venimos de unos años muy difícilesen los que con el trabajo y esfuerzo de todos se evitó una posible desaparición del Club que parecía, desgraciadamente, factible”, dijo en la presentación que tuvo lugar en el estadio Yukon, escenario que albergará los partidos como local de la franquicia.

Oops. That probably wasn’t the best website to quote. Let’s get a more national and English take from some website called Super Sport:

Spanish top-flight side Rayo Vallecano have launched an American franchise, Rayo Oklahoma City, who will play in the North American Soccer League, in the first such move by a club from La Liga into the US market.

Rayo, from the Madrid neighbourhood of Vallecas, confirmed the franchise will compete in the NASL, the second tier in the United States behind Major League Soccer, from 2016.

The Spanish outfit did not specify how much they have invested in the project but the website of the new team, Rayo OKC, confirmed that Rayo Vallecano president and owner Raul Martin Presa will be the “majority owner”.

“The name, Rayo OKC, directly reflects its unique partnership with Rayo Vallecano de Madrid, which becomes the first ever La Liga side to invest in a pro soccer club in North America,” read the Rayo OKC statement.

“It’s an honour for our brand to be alongside many of North America’s most cosmopolitan cities,” said Martin Presa. “We look forward to putting a world-class team on the pitch in Oklahoma City.”

Wait a second. This guy thinks Oklahoma City is cosmopolitan? That’s hysterical. Redbook, maybe… but definitely not Cosmopolitan. Seriously, did Brad Lund and the rest of the local ownership group send this guy to Miami and trick him into thinking he was in Oklahoma City or something?

“And over here to the east we have Lake Hefner. Beautiful sunset, huh? It may look like an ocean, but trust us, it’s a lake. Now who’s ready for a piña colada?!”

Anyway, I’m not too sure what to think about all this. I should probably disclose that we here at The Lost Ogle bleed Energy green. They’ve advertised with us, invited Spencer to tryout for the team, and were even okay with Louis Fowler hurling Mexican curse words at players from Utah, so I’m a little bit biased.

Since that’s the case, I asked Tony and Marisa for their thoughts. Tony complained that Rayo Vallecano is basically the Iowa State of La Liga, constantly getting whipped by upper tier teams. Marisa, on the other hand, hasn’t recovered from watching the team’s new mascot, Scizoro the Scissortail, attempt to destroy Oklahoma City in the team’s promo video.

Seriously, check this thing out. It’s worth watching for the sound effects alone:

Good things come to those who pray… at Jimmy’s Egg


Last week, my brother and I were having coffee at Elemental on N. Hudson. He just had surgery to fix a broken finger he suffered while playing basketball at the YMCA and had this huge cast running from his elbow to his hand.

As we were about to get up and leave, some 20-something dude we didn’t know walked up to us and asked “What happened to your hand?”

My brother gave a smartass “You should see the other guy” response, but the dude seemed legitimately concerned and didn’t seem to get the joke.

“Actually, I hurt it playing basketball.”

My brother looks about as much like a basketball player as I do a fitness model. The guy then said “Oh really. Is it going to be okay?”

“Yeah, they just put a couple of screws in the…” At this point, little brother begins to awkwardly explain the injury, the diagnosis process, the surgery, how it’s difficult to put a shirt on, etc. When he finished, the dude looked at him and asked:

“That’s interesting. Can I pray for your hand with you?”

My brother, who’s about as religious as Bill Maher, suddenly got this uncomfortable run-out-of-toilet paper look on his face. Never turning down an opportunity to embarrass my little brother, I chimed in:

“Sure! That sounds great!”

The dude then grabbed my brother’s arm, bowed his head, closed his eyes, and as I was sat silent, started praying to the Christian God (and his son) to heal a broken knuckle. The whole thing lasted a very long 10-seconds. We then said “Amen,” the dude thanked us, and he went along with his day.

It was an amusing experience, but unfortunately we didn’t get any free food out of the deal. I guess that’s what we get for going to a fancy downtown coffee shop and not Jimmy’s Egg.