So, we’re having some technical difficulties at the TLO Home Office this morning.
For some reason, the Tweets for Marisa’s MMT’s are not embedding in the post like they usually do. We have no clue why. They’re displaying last week’s MMT’s, but not the one that was scheduled for this morning. It’s a weird WordPress bug that pops up every now and then and usually resolves itself. Hopefully that’s the case this time around. Otherwise, we’ll have to pretend it’s 2012 and revert to taking screenshots of tweets and posting TwitPics from Vast.
Also, Joel got drunk last night so the Week 2 “League of Champions” recap will be a little late. That’s probably fine. Joel doesn’t drink often, and when he does, he gets bitter and philosophical and decides to tell people how he really feels. It’s better for us to wait until he’s sober.
Anyway, here’s a random clip of John C. Reilly singing the “Mr. Spriggs BBQ” jingle on Late Night from 2010. It’s a bit dated, but will help get you through this morning. It’s impossible to listen to the Mr. Spriggs BBQ jingle and not automatically feel good and inspired. Hell, it may even motivate the Video Vigilante to write another BBQ review.
Check it out:
Earlier this week, I received a couple of questions on Twitter asking what happened to Dave Garrett. No, not the one who “knew what to do to.” I’m talking about the guy from the 107.7 The Franchise.
In case you’re wondering who the hell that is, Dave Garrett is a local sports radio personality and the Norv Turner of the Oklahoma City sports media. He’s talented, hardworking, and respected, and because of that, gets shot after shot to be a sports radio host in this market. For some reason, though, it never seems to work out for him. He’s even been hired and fired by Jerry Jones. Since that’s the case, maybe comparing him to Wade Phillips would be more appropriate.
All bad sports analogies aside, Garrett was a co-host for the Franchise’s drive-time show “Casilla and Company.” He’s now leaving that show to man the dreaded 7pm – 9pm spot. He will also provide pre- and post-game coverage of Oklahoma City Thunder games. He’ll probably keep this gig until some other sports radio station opens up shop and hires him.
Garrett is being replaced on “Casillas and Company” by some used car salesman from St. Louis named Zach McCrite. We know all this because Tyler Media issued a press release about it. Here’s his photo and press release:
A few months ago I had to travel to Tulsa for a quick Saturday visit. Before hitting the Turner Turnpike, I stopped by the Love’s on NE 122nd and I35 to get some gas. I remember two things about my visit:
1. I think it’s where the Oklahoma State Fair carnies hang out on the weekends. Not that I expect a truck stop gas station to be like the Whole Foods parking lot, but this was awful. I almost thought I drove into a beat-up Dodge Neon Trade Show. I’m pretty sure there were two guys standing in front of the store arguing about who had the most teeth or meth. I couldn’t totally understand them/
2. I spilled a little bit of gasoline on my hands. Don’t you hate it when that happens? Because I was about to go on a 100-mile drive and didn’t want to smell gasoline for the entire trip, I went inside the store’s restroom to wash my hands. Dear God, that was a mistake. Gasoline may smell awful and emit toxic fumes, but at least it kills germs and doesn’t breed them. That Love’s bathroom was like walking into a life-sized petri dish of disease and sadness. It smelled like a mop bucket filled with bleach and urine and the entire floor was covered with a thin pool of what I pray to God was water. It was so bad that after washing my hands, they somehow felt dirtier. Next time I’ll be sure to wear a radioactive clean suit.
Anyway, I bring all that up because Love’s is celebrating their 50th anniversary. Here’s a story by Jay Marks with the Oklahoman’s PR Department:
As I’m sure you’ve heard by now, marriage equality is on its way to Oklahoma. On Tuesday, a federal judge ruled that our state’s 2004 amendment banning gay marriage is unconstitutional. Because our state’s leaders enjoy wasting taxpayers dollars on things like this, the ruling is being appealed.
A federal judge in Tulsa struck down Oklahoma’s ban on same-sex marriage as unconstitutional on Tuesday but prevented his ruling from going into effect while the issue makes its way through appeals.
Senior U.S. District Judge Terrence C. Kern, ruling more than nine years after Oklahoma voters overwhelmingly approved a statewide question to prohibit same-sex marriage, said the ban discriminated against same-sex couples for no rational reason.
Yes, a judge named Kern is the person who struck down Oklahoma’s ban on gay marriage. As I mentioned on Tuesday, you win, cosmic forces of irony that control the universe. First you name the most powerful family in the state “Gaylord,” and now this. Maybe tomorrow we’ll find out that Emily Sutton’s middle name is England.
Kern released his ruling in a 68-page badass decision that made a lot of sense. Here are some highlights:
After dissecting the arguments supporters voiced to justify the ban, Kern said that “moral disapproval of homosexuals as a class, or same-sex marriage as a practice, is not a permissible justification.”
Moreover, he said, protecting the sanctity of marriage wasn’t a valid reason for the ban, given Oklahoma’s high divorce rate of opposite-sex couples, and encouraging procreation wasn’t logical either since opposite-sex couples aren’t required to say they’ll produce offspring in order to get a marriage license.
“Equal protection is at the very heart of our legal system and central to our consent to be governed,” Kern said in his 68-page decision.
“It is not a scarce commodity to be meted out begrudgingly or in short portions. Therefore, the majority view in Oklahoma must give way to individual constitutional rights.”
Of course, Tuesday’s ruling sent the bible thumping, homophobic arm of the Derplahoman army into full disarray. Derplahomans, in case you forgot, are those ignorant, usually uneducated, simple folk who think Obama is a Muslim communist dictator, want prayer (and guns) allowed in public schools, and believe gay people are the biggest threat to the country. They live around you, work around you, and vote for all the bat-shit crazies that run this state.
Anyway, these Derplahoman’s couldn’t believe that a judge would have the nerve to overrule the homophobic desires of the people. Of course, they turned to the Facebook pages of local TV stations to voice their frustrations. Because it’s what we do, I decided to go through the KFOR Facebook page and find some of the craziest, most bizarre statements. Once again, all these comments are totally real.
First you have the guy who thinks Judge Kern and all other “fags” should be put on an island and blown to little tiny gay bits:
Of course, blowing them up would be kind of pointless. Especially when you consider that gay people are going to burn:
Over the past year or so, we’ve been witnessing the buzzfeedification of our local news media.
Gone are the days when news directors, producers and reporters only cared about TV ratings and haircuts. Now they’re in a constant search for the next bizarre news story with a clickable headline that will be shared on 20,000 Facebook pages, make the front page of Reddit or Yahoo, and possibly even CNN. Basically, they’re all trying to hit viral paydirt.
That’s obviously what News 9 was trying to accomplish when they went with this unusual and ultimately disappointing story about the world’s most fucked up tortilla.
The mystery inside a tortilla bag bought at an Oklahoma City Walmart is sparking a food company investigation of sorts.
News9.com producer Matthew Nuttle decided against making a quesadilla lunch Monday after finding what appears to be the body of a lizard in one of his tortillas. The mystery passed quality control all the way from Georgia-based Ole Mexican Foods to a store shelf in Oklahoma City.
“As soon as I saw it, I thought it was mold,” said Nuttle. “Then I could tell it was raised up, and it looked like it had scales on it.”
Nuttle is still asking, “what is it!?” News 9 cut into the object — but questions still linger. A picture of the tortilla was sent to Ole Mexican Foods.
First off all, let’s take a look at this… thing:
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