Earlier this week, the Oklahoma Heritage Association announced its 2013 Oklahoma Hall of Fame Class. It was highlighted by several rich businessmen, a cool judge and one severe weather deity:
Seven outstanding Oklahomans have been selected for induction into the 86th class of the Oklahoma Hall of Fame. These accomplished Oklahomans will join the cast of 655 individuals who have been inducted into the Hall since 1928. The honorees officially were announced at a luncheon today at the Gaylord-Pickens Museum. New inductees were presented to a roomful of past Oklahoma Hall of Fame honorees.
The 2013 Oklahoma Hall of Fame inductees are: Michael D. Case, Tulsa, Gary A. England, Seiling, John D. Groendyke, Enid, Timothy C. Headington, Oklahoma City, Vicki Miles-LaGrange, Oklahoma City, Russell M. Perry, Oklahoma City and Reggie N. Whitten, Seminole.
Click here for more information about each of the class members.
The honorees will be formally inducted to the Hall on Nov. 7 at the Cox Convention Center in Oklahoma City. Also in November, their portraits will be added to the Oklahoma Hall of Fame Gallery at the Gaylord-Pickens Museum. Their biographies, photos and fun facts will be accessed through touch screen computers in the same gallery.
Let me get this straight. Gary England wasn’t already in the Oklahoma Hall of Fame!? How’s that possible? I know he was caught up on the dew point temperature betting scandal in the mid-1970s, but that was such a long time ago. Since then, he’s saved 1.8-million lives and once fended off a maxi-wedge multi-vortex grinder with nothing but a magic barometer and Doppler radar shield.
To celebrate this long over due announcement, here’s a new piece of art by local artist Trent Lawson. If I have my way, it will soon be hanging over the fireplace in Ogle Manor. It features Gary England, armed with a rifle and chainsaw, protecting Linda Cavanaugh from an evil army of deranged skeletons:
If we were to compile a list of the 100 Dumbest Things About Oklahoma, our ridiculous liquor laws would probably make the Top 10. They’re confusing, bureaucratic, drenched in regulation, contradict free market principles, and protect monopolies, yet for some reason, our small business, limited-government politicians turn a blind eye to them. Granted, that’s because most of our lawmakers double as nutty moralist social conservatives, but that’s for another conversation.
The absurdity of our liquor laws are really magnified when it comes to beer and wine sales. They just don’t make sense. Gas stations and grocery stores are only allowed to sell low-point beer, but they can keep it cold. Liquor stores can sell high-point beer, but it can’t be refrigerated. Only liquor stores can sell wine, but they are closed on Sundays and Holidays, so if you want to grab a last-second bottle of Pinot to accompany you through back to back episodes of Game of Thrones and Mad Men you’re S.O.L.
The laws are also goofy when it comes to how you can produce and distribute beer and wine in this state. If you need proof, check out this story about a Tulsa brew house that was busted for selling beer that was too strong.
The Bonnie and Clyde wannabes pictured above are Mr. and Ms. Poopy Pants. Earlier this week, they came up with an elaborate plan to rob an Oklahoma City “Gold For Cash” merchant. It involved silver spoons, ceiling tiles and shit everywhere.
From News 9:
Well, that sucked. You can’t say we didn’t see it coming. I know we all hoped the Thunder could advance in the playoffs without Westbrook, but that’s all it was; a hope. Deep down, we could see this team was in over its head. They didn’t have the depth, system, flexibility or composure to beat a upper-echelon team in a 7-game series.
Since everyone’s probably mopey, sad and gloomy this morning, I thought it would be fitting to match some Thunder playoff observations with depressing grunge-era songs from the 1990s. Not only is it great therapy, but maybe it will piss of Macklemore and all his fellow trolls from Seattle. I love being passive aggressive.
Here we go:
1. Hearing About Russell Westbrook’s Knee Injury
Song: “Fell on Black Days”
Pertinent Lyrics: “What’soever I’ve feared has come to life…”
I guess you can sign me up for the “I know it’s shitty that it took a freak injury to make realize this, but I now fully appreciate Russell Westbrook’s basketball ability and importance to the Oklahoma City Thunder” support group. I promise not to criticize him ever again…at least until he takes a 20-foot pull up jumper with 18-seconds left on the shot clock.
2. Serge Ibaka’s Cold Shooting
Song: Down In A Hole
Band: Alice in Chains
Pertinent Lyrics: “Down in a hole, feelin’ so small. Down in a hole, losin’ control.”
After he missed that game tying lay-up in Houston, Serge’s confidence and jump shot fell into a deep dark cauldron of dispair and sadness. You could see it on his face. Hopefully he’ll be able to pull himself out of it by the start of next season.
Back in April, we published a post about the not-so-subtle changes taking place at NewsOK.com. Basically, how the site is transitioning from an average newspaper homepage to a below-average news aggregator super hub. One specific item we touched on was the launch of the “new and improved” “Digital Desk.”
This is what we had to say:
The site is also in the midst of posting sprightly little columns from something called the ”The Digital Desk.” They kind of remind me of the stories you’d see at BuzzFeed but probably not click on. That’s probably a good thing because the posts are kind of boring. Here are two recent examples. Make sure you drink some caffeine before trying to read them.
6 types of people you might have seen at Norman Music Festival: My favorite is Number 6. It shows a photograph of people taking cover from rain with the caption “People who would not let rain keep them from enjoying the festival.”
20 ways people responded to news of Russell Westbrook’s injury: I have no comment about this post. That’s how awful it is.
Now this is where things get creepy. When they’re not ripping off BuzzFeed, it looks like the Digital Desk is trying to stoop down to our level and write blog posts about Oklahoman weather and weathermen! This development has led to people asking me if we’re worried that OPUBCO is trying to force us to move to Enid or something.
Well, it looks like I can continue sending my Enid realtor to voicemail. Things have not improved at the NewsOK.com Digital Desk. In fact, you can its content has gotten worse. Check out some of newer posts. These are totally real:
5 things Oklahomans should remember about ‘The Biggest Loser’ before they audition this Saturday. That’s real. I swear I didn’t make it up. They really published the post, and somehow “Be Morbidly Obese and Jolly” wasn’t number one. They also didn’t make fun of Neil Harmer for falling off a treadmill. Basically, the the post was preachy, boring and something you’d never want to read.
4 reasons why ‘Iron Man 3′ was a horrible start to Marvel’s Phase 2. Word of advice to all web writers, editors and publishers. If you want to write a list and only have four items on it, either don’t write the list or come up with a fifth item. It’s not that hard.
Whatever it is that Rob Hibbard is doing. I’m pretty sure he writes all of his experimental posts while smoking bad weed and listening to Mars Volta. He’s either on some genius level that we don’t comprehend or just really really depressed.
Yeah, it’s quite obvious that the people behind the NewsOK Digital Desk really don’t know what they’re doing. They’re clueless, trying too hard, and I kind of feel sorry for them. They remind me of a 50-year-old wearing a Tommy Bahama shirt to a rock concert.
In effort to have a little fun, we came up with a list of 33 totally awesome story ideas that we wouldn’t be surprised to see on the NewsOK.com Digital Desk. Here they are:
1. The 20 Hottest Women In The Oklahoma City Print Media
2. 23 Best Places in OKC to Avoid Gay People
3. Steve Lackmeyer’s 11 favorite White Water slides
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