Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Patrick

We found something more disgusting than listening to Regular Jim Traber…

Brenda Mettler 42 Robert S. Mettler

The sick assholes pictured above are Robert and Brenda Mettler from Claremore. Last week, they became the newest Oklahomans to be caught performing and/or filming human sex acts with dogs.

Via The Tulsa World:

A Claremore couple was arrested on bestiality complaints after police found at their home a video showing a dog performing oral sex on the wife.

Yeah, sorry about that. I should have warned you that this is a graphic and disgusting story. It’s worse than listening to this audio clip of Regular Jim Traber getting into a yelling match with an OU football player’s dad. I guess you can always count on bestiality to make Jim Traber seem tolerable.

Here are more disgusting details:

And the winner of our 2014 Oklahoma State Fair Photo contest is…

One cool thing about this blogging gig is that I don’t have a boss I don’t like named Karen telling me what to do. That being said, one big drawback to the job is that I don’t have a boss I don’t like named Karen to remind me when I do something stupid like forget to name the champion of our 2014 State Fair Photo Contest.

Yeah, I kind of forgot about that. After nearly 10,000 votes, the winning photograph is…

miss state fair 2014 state fair photo contest

Let’s be honest. This isn’t a big surprise. I think we all knew when we first saw Miss State Fair’s photo that she was going to win this thing. How could she not? The photo is an all timer. She perfectly embodies everything about the State Fair and this silly contest we’ve held for the past six or seven years.

The winning pic was submitted by Derek M. from Guthrie. He’s going to win a big feast to Picasso Cafe in the Paseo. Here’s what he said about the photograph:

All I know about her is she has incredible fashion sense, and knows how to market herself. The back of the shirt read “Looking for the owner of these 40 DD’s u need
1. Big Ring  2. House  3. Car  4. Job.”

My friend and I were leaving when we spotted her posted up smoking Paul Mall’s by the ring toss. So in order to get a good pic my friend ran over and started playing, just so I could get a good clear picture of her, while pretending to take pics of my friend. We then followed her out and around for awhile, trying to get good pictures of her shirt before we left. As soon as we got to the car I sent the best pics we captured.

Derek wasn’t the only person to submit a photo of Miss State Fair. We were sent several photos of the owner of those 40 Double-D’s roaming the fair with some dude in search of corn dogs and/or billy goats. Here are some of the other entries:

Aaron Tuttle was a spray tan model for Halloween…

I think we know who Marla Morgan is going to hire the next time her husband needs a weather helper.

Over the weekend, Facebook weatherman Aaron Tuttle shared a Halloween costume pic on his Facebook page. It’s of him and his girlfriend(?) before they ruined someone’s costume party.

Fortunately, he wasn’t crying:

aaron tuttle halloween

Yes, Aaron Tuttle and his girlfriend She-Ra went out as a couple of spray tan models for Halloween. I guess that’s cool, although Aaron is violating a couple of man rules, including…

1. Never dress up like a douche bag for Halloween. It’s a holiday for girls to dress slutty, not for you to get free admission to the COPA.

2. Never date a girl who can put you to sleep with a full nelson. Or beat you at Mercy.

In addition to posting the blatant “LOOK AT HOW AWESOME I LOOK!” photo, Aaron left the following rambling, self-congratulatory, promotional note:

Marla Morgan emailed us some Halloween costume pics…

marla morgan

And I thought mispronouncing the word “Grotto” on a national radio show was going to be the highlight of my weekend.

Yesterday afternoon, while you were watching football or enjoying the record-breaking October heat, Marla Morgan, the wife of KFOR Chief Meteorologist Mike Morgan, chugged a bottle of Relax and sent us another email.

Here’s what the former Miss Rodeo USA had to say:

Dearest Patrick,

I’m still basking in the afterglow of being your recent Hot Girl Friday (HGF)….I can’t tell you how many doors it has opened and closed for me. I’m about to start calling you “Hef!”

Since you really do need updated pic’s, I thought I would send you a few of me without makeup from this past weekend…..besides being GREEN, do you know what I am? Here is a hint: I like your picture of extra large….um….brains from Star Trek and I love the best James T. Kirk of all time, William Shatner….I would be his squeeze.

Happy Halloween, and you know, once you go green, you never go back!

XOXO, Marla

Uhm, will you all please add “Mike Morgan’s Basement” to the list of places to look if I ever turn up missing? Seriously, I’m pretty fucking terrified that I’m going to be kidnapped and end up in there, and I’m even more terrified that I don’t know who’s going to be responsible for it. Will it be Mike, Marla or will they co-conspire and pay Reed Timmer to do it? The only thing that’s certain is that they’ll use Emily Sutton as a lure.

Anyway, let’s check out these pics that Marla emailed to us.

Someone ran over the 10 Commandments Monument

10 commandments monument broken

And you thought fixing a couple of typos in granite seemed difficult.

Last night, someone drove their car on the Oklahoma State Capitol lawn and knocked over the controversial granite 10 Commandments Monument, breaking the state-endorsed symbol of religion into several large pieces.

Currently, there are no suspects for this act of vandalism, although authorities are searching for a person of interest described as a homeless Egyptian prince with a long beard who was last spotted talking to a burning bush outside Byron’s liquor store.

Here are more details via The Tulsa World: