Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Patrick

Mike Morgan doesn’t want to be a part of Ogle Madness…

mike morgan swanky

You may have missed it during Racist Oklahoma Frat Boy Week, but we unveiled the Ogle Madness VIII bracket on Tuesday. The full tournament gets started this Monday. You can check out the play-in game match-ups here.

As always, this year’s bracket ignited some controversy. We’ve already been promised eternal damnation from Baphomet for leaving him out of the field. Jack White was also salty. Upon learning that his guacamole recipe was only a 5-seed, the rock star went to YouTube and vented “Just because you write it on a computer, it doesn’t make it right.”

Mike Morgan was upset, too. He sent us the following email requesting to relinquish his entry:

00003Mike Morgan email

Yep, that’s real. Mike Morgan is trying to play his own little game of Ogle Madness Wife Swap and get out of this year’s field. I guess he forgot the throttling that his arch nemesis, Lord England, gave Marla in last year’s Sweet 16.

In addition to the email, Mike included this photo of Marla at the Belle Isle Brewery:

Nomad II may want to hire an exterminator…

slice magazine pizza

That’s the front cover of this month’s issue of Slice magazine. The pepperoni pizza monstrosity comes courtesy of Nomad II, an Italian restaurant that is located on 72nd and North May. The place has been there since I can remember, which is way too long.

Here’s the description of the pie from Slice:

What’s on it? The mozzarella and rest sauce are afterthoughts. check this out: this pie is covered with pepperoni slices that have been fried crispy beforehand. Fried pepperoni!

What’s it like? Genius, honestly. You’ll need both hands or a fork to hold up a slice, but the cheese is nice and stretchy, the sauce is a trifle sweet… and you can’t not dwell on those crisp, slaty circles or pepperoni that overflow the pie and flirt with overkill in the best way. It’s a mess to eat, and wonderful.

Looks and sounds delicious, huh? Well, before you run out and try it, I would suggest that you do a couple of things:

1. Take some Pepcid AC.

2. Request the roaches and cigarette butts on the side…

I say all that thanks to this video of the Nomad II kitchen that a former employee posted to the News 9 Facebook Page. The video looks like something from a Kitchen Nightmares audition reel. The whole thing would have Chef Ramsey screaming “BOLLOCKS!”

Check it out:

Gary England is taking his divine talents to OU…

sunday ogle gary england

There’s finally some good news to report from the OU campus.

President David Boren announced earlier this week that he’s named severe weather savior Gary England as the university’s new Consulting Meteorologist-in-Residence. I have no clue what that means, but let’s hope one of his first job duties is to destroy the SAE house with lightning, hail and isolated mini-grinders.

Via OU:

Currently collaborating with the University of Oklahoma on an upcoming educational opportunity, Oklahoma’s own Gary England has been named OU’s Consulting Meteorologist-in-Residence. The appointment was announced by OU President David L. Boren at the March meeting of the OU Board of Regents. England’s appointment is effective February 1.

That’s just the coolest thing ever. Gary is kind of like the pizza, cocaine and cowbell of weather deities; you always want more.

So, what does a “Consulting Meteorologist-in-Residence” actually do?

Friendly reminder, stupid frat boys are not the only bigots giving Oklahoma a bad name…

joseph silk

Last week, circumcised penis impersonator Joseph Silk, a State Senator from Broken Bow, sat down with the New York Times to talk about Senate Bill 440. The proposed legislation would give Oklahoma business owners the freedom to discriminate against gays and homosexuals; freedoms that, oddly enough, Oklahoma business owners already have since the LGBT community isn’t protected under the Civil Rights Act.

A fan of irony, Silk named his bill the “Oklahoma Religious Freedom Restoration Act,” because nothing represents freedom more than giving businesses the power to discriminate against individuals.

Via Salon:

State Sen. Joseph Silk made that statement in an interview with the New York Times, which examines the broader push for so-called religious freedom laws in a story published online Thursday. Silk told the Times that he while he knows real, breathing homosexuals and even considers some his friends, he nevertheless sees gay people as the top threat to religious liberty. “The L.G.B.T. movement is the main thing, the primary thing that’s going to be challenging religious liberties and the freedom to live out religious convictions,” Silk said. “And I say that sensitively, because I have homosexual friends.”

Yeah, I’m sure this guy has a ton of homosexual friends. I bet there’s nothing gays and lesbians in Broken Bow love more than to run into their old buddy Joseph, the homophobic legislator that sees gay people as “the top threat to religious liberty.” I’m sure they’re really his friend and not just being nice to his penis face.

After The Times story dropped, Silk’s statements hit the national political blog circuit and solicited the typical “Check out what the fuck is happening in Oklahoma!” response. This prompted Silk to clarify his remarks on his website.

After careful consideration and prayer, I have decided to withdraw SB440 from consideration on the Senate floor. Upon speaking with religious leaders and my friends in LGBT community, I have learned the “Oklahoma Religious Freedom Restoration Act” is misguided legislation. It encourages discrimination and intolerance, and has the ability to actually harm those it…

Hehe. Just kidding. I made that up. Do you really think a GOP member of the Oklahoma Legislature would display a human trait called “compassion?” He actually doubled down on the gay hate like he was playing black jack at Gary’s Chicaros.

Here is Silk’s real statement:

The SAE House Mom likes to rap the N-word…

SAE house mom

During Monday night’s 10pm news broadcast, KWTV News 9 set down with OU legend Barry Switzer to discuss the SAE racism video. Barry brought along his good friend – SAE house mom Beauton Gilbow. She was shocked by the behavior displayed in the SAE bus video.

Via News 9:

“I don’t know what I’m doing. I mean, I’m in shock,” Beauton Gilbow, the SAE House Mother said.

“Did you ever get any indication there was anything like this going on?” News 9’s Kelly Ogle asked.

“No, no, no. Never heard the song,” Gilbow responded.

“What about … what are you saying to the members who come through?” Ogle asked.

“Just goodbye,” Gilbow said…

Well, she couldn’t have been in too much shock.

Last night, we were tipped off to a Vine from 2013 showing an obviously intoxicated Ms. Gilbow repeatedly using the N-word while trying to rap to what we (and Shazam) think is the Trinidad James song “All Gold Everything.

Here’s the video: