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Jim Gardner has been suspended from News 9…

bob mills sky news 9 suspension

Toss News 9 helicopter pilot Jim Gardner a can of Mountain Dew. He’s a badass.

We have confirmed via the Ogle Mole Network that Gardner has been suspended by News 9 for pulling some stunts with that station’s helicopter, Bob Mills Sky News 9, at the Sundance air park in Yukon. According to one source, the suspension will last for two weeks and begins today.

The details regarding the incident are a bit murky, but apparently it involved the futuristic George Jetson plane that Jim posted a pic of on July 27. I guess a video recently surfaced that showed Jim racing the plane in Sky News 9. The video has since been pulled, but I was able to obtain the following pixellated screenshot of the clip via the Ogle Mole Network:

Meg Alexander was snubbed by Mary Fallin on the Ice Bucket Challenge…

Although it’s tempting, I don’t want to be to that guy who bags on the ice bucket challenge fad. For one, I’m a bit of a hypochondriac. Out of all the diseases and illnesses out there that I think I’m going to get in the next six months, ALS scares me the most. Two, we have rightwing Facebook weatherman Aaron Tuttle for that:

aaron tuttle nuts

Yeah, ALS is murdering babies for scientific research. Obviously, that’s 100% scary and true. Know what else is 100% scary and true? Aaron Tuttle is a degreed meteorologist with over 50,000 Facebook fans. What the hell? I guess he’s the guy for people who like a little bit of crazy with their 5-day forecast.

Because we’re cool and on the leading edge of videos that will soon overwhelm your Facebook feed, we first covered the Harlem Shake of Good Causes back in mid-July when Meg Alexander took the plunge. Here’s her tweet about it:

Surprisingly, Mary Fallin accepted Meg’s challenge and poured a bucket of ice water over her head. Even more surprisingly, she didn’t melt! Zing!

Here’s the terrifying video:

OMG, comments on a Channel 5 Facebook post actually made me haha laugh…

As we’ve documented many times on this site over the years, the Facebook pages of local TV news channels are some of the darkest, scariest, and most terrifying places on the internet. All it takes is one “What do you think?” to realize that every other person online is either a racist, bigot, or doesn’t understand the basic rules of capitalization and punctuation.

Occasionally, though, something out there happens to restore the small sliver of hope we have in humanity. That was the case yesterday on Channel 5. They posted a story on Facebook, and as Social Media Bandits like to do, they included a question:

koco fb post

Wow. I had no clue you could now “manufacture” marijuana. It must be the new alternative to “growing.”  I guess that explains the new banana factory on the southside.

Anyway, some people took the social media bait and actually replied to the question “Have you ever heard of someone whose name matches their job title.” Instead of making my eyes roll, one exchange actually made me laugh.

Check it out:

Behold the Emily Sutton earthquake face…

Emily Sutton earthquake

I’ll admit, it’s difficult for me to write about Emily Sutton right now. And no, it’s not that I’m jealous about her engagement to Mr. Haha Imtotallybetterthanyou Fireman Dude. That’s old news. I’m totally over that just like I am the James Harden trade, which will probably go down in history as one of the worst NBA trades of all time.

The issue is that now when I think of Emily Sutton, I find myself thinking about fireman, and when I think of fireman, I think of heat, and when I think of heat, I think of Miami, and when I think of Miami, I think of beaches, and when I think of beaches, I think of breasts, and when I think of breasts, well, I find it difficult to focus on writing for this website.

I bring all that up because Emily Sutton and Oklahoma City Community College Hall-of-Famer Lacey Lett were on the air Tuesday morning when another totally natural, not-induced-by-fracking-injection-wells earthquake hit the Edmond area. Thanks to it, we now know how Emily reacts when she sees a tornado or Serge Ibaka at the gym.

As is standard operating procedure, KFOR made a big deal about Emily and Lacey’s reaction to the quake. It’s not as erotic as the threesome Lacey Lett, Tammy Payne and Stan Miller had the last time the ground shook, but for a split second it looks like Emily and Lacey may kiss.

Here’s the clip:

The local media doesn’t want us to be worried about the Purge that isn’t happening…

the purge

Earlier this week, some internet hoax threatening a purge made its way to town. Normally, it wasn’t anything you’d take seriously, but fortunately for all of us, we have the Oklahoma City media to warn us about the non-threat and then tell us everything will be fine.


One of the latest internet hoaxes has some Oklahomans a little scared.

Images circulating on social media warned Oklahomans that a real-life version of the movie “The Purge” was set to take place at the end August.

In “The Purge” films, the government sanctions an annual 12-hour period in which any and all criminal activity becomes legal.

However, the images are part of a series of internet hoaxes most likely inspired by a Kentucky high school student.

According to KDVR, purge threats in Kentucky, Ohio, Florida, Michigan and Illinois were all found to be unsubstantiated.

So no worries Oklahomans, the real life purge is not happening.

I like how the KFOR Social Media Bandit mentions that some Oklahomans are “a little scared,” and then fails to interview or find one Oklahoman who is actually “a little scared.” They just simply posted tweets from people who were sarcastically laughing at the hoax. Seriously, who other than a Red Dirt Report reader is really worried that a real life purge is going to happen? Is it you, KFOR Social Media Bandit? Are you the one who’s “a little scared?” Did you write all this because you need assurance from others that it is indeed a prank?

If so, today’s your lucky day. KOCO sent Brian Schlonsky – yeah, that’s his real name – to Norman to investigate the “mysterious” flyers that even David Stanley would find sketchy. Here’s the video: