Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Archive for Oklahoma Politics

Good news! Now only 62% of Oklahomans are judgemental idiots…

fallin lankford kern

Whenever a court overturns Oklahoma’s draconian constitutional ban on gay marriage, Mary Fallin likes to (embarrassingly) point out that 75% of Oklahomans in 2004 were totally fine with repressing the equal rights and legal protections of law-abiding, tax paying American citizens in order to satisfy their own fears, insecurities and religious views.

Here’s the proof:

The people of Oklahoma have the right to determine how marriage is defined. In 2004, Oklahomans exercised that right, voting by a margin of 3-1 to define marriage as the union of one man and one woman.

The will of the people has now been overridden by unelected federal justices, accountable to no one. That is both undemocratic and a violation of states’ rights. Rather than allowing states to make their own policies that reflect the values and views of their residents, federal judges have inserted themselves into a state issue to pursue their own agendas.

Today’s decision has been cast by the media as a victory for gay rights. What has been ignored, however, is the right of Oklahomans – and Americans in every state – to write their own laws and govern themselves as they see fit. Those rights have once again been trampled by an arrogant, out-of -control federal government that wants to substitute Oklahoma values with Washington, D.C. values.”

Yes, how dare that judicial branch protect the freedoms of the minority against the discriminatory, prejudice and repressive majority. Before you know it, those activist judges are going to tell us blacks and whites can go to the same schools!

Well, it looks like there’s a little bit of good news out there for those Oklahomans who think two grown up, consenting, homosexual adults should have the freedoms as heterosexuals. According to a recent poll by the Tulsa World, now only 62% of Oklahomans are prejudiced tool rods:

Mary Fallin drove a tank…

mary fallin tank

It’s going to be another great a four years.

In what can only be interpreted as a symbolic statement to how she crushed Joe Dorman, Mary Fallin drove a tank over an old, beat up car on Friday.

She also fired a machine gun.

It was all part of the grand opening celebrations for the new Wilshire Gun. It’s the new gun range near Nichols Hills that has a restaurant and bar on premises.


A large crowd gathered at the Wilshire Gun grand opening Friday to watch Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin drive a tank over an old car.

The stunt kicked off the three-day opening celebration, as Wilshire Gun becomes the first shooting range in the state to sell alcohol.

“Well it was interesting being able to ride in this tank and crush a car, and what an exciting way to open up the Wilshire Gun range today,” Fallin said. “It’s a great new edition to Oklahoma City and it’s creating jobs.”

Fallin said having a place that teaches gun safety is an important addition to the community.

“Having the ability to have meeting spaces where people can learn about gun safety and the appropriate handling of firearms, which is also a very important part of gun ownership,” Fallin said.

Yes, outside of a nursery or fireworks stand, there’s no better place to learn about gun safety and the appropriate handling of firearms than a gun range that serves alcohol. Because you know, alcohol helps you retain information and improve decision making.

There are plenty of ridiculous images from the event. My two favorites were tweeted by Hank from Family Guy impersonator Morgan Chesky:

Mary Fallin won. It made me sick.

On Monday night, I developed a runny nose and little sore throat. “No Big Deal,” I thought, “I’m probably coming down with my annual fall cold. It happens every year. I’ll be alright.”

Fast forward 24-hours later and I’m laying on my couch with a 102.8-degree fever, huddled underneath a pile of blankets, shaking from the chills, and watching this…

I can’t say that Mary Fallin winning re-election literally made me sick, but it sure did feel like it.

Anyway, thanks to this ebola-flu-cold-plague thing I have going on, I may take it easy for the next few days. Yeah, blogging doesn’t require a lot of strenuous work, but even I should get a couple of sick days. Well, at least until Mary Fallin and the state legislature decided to ban them or something.

That being said, here are a few thoughts on the whole Governor’s race…

2014 Judicial Endorsements

More than likely, you’ve already made up your mind for the important races in today’s election like that for Governor (vote for Dorman), US Congress and the State Legislature. That being said, you probably have no clue which judges you’re going to vote to retain or not retain. Like most people, you’ll probably just vote “Yes” to retain all of them except for that person at the bottom of the ballot with the name you don’t like.

That’s not a very wise way to determine who’s going to rule against you in a court of law. Fortunately, Patrick and I wanted to help you decide which lawyer who practiced law for at least 5 years (and then decided to make less money by taking a government job) deserves to be retained or not retained.

Keep in mind there are about a million judges up for reelection, so we will only be covering the cool races. If you would like more information about races in your jurisdiction, you can find information here and here. And if you want to check out a sample ballot to see which judges you can vote for, click here.

Oklahoma Supreme Court:


Chief  Justice Tom Colbert

Spencer – Vote YES: Chief Justice Tom Colbert is the first African-American to sit on Oklahoma’s highest court. He was appointed by Brad Henry, and despite his conservative leanings, we can’t allow Mary Fallin to start putting more old white men in Oklahoma’s Supreme Court. Hell, if Fallin gets the chance she might appoint Christina to the bench.

Patrick – Vote YES: Since there’s a chance that our lawsuit against Mary Fallin may go the Supreme Court, I’m going to play things safe and say vote “Yes” for Chief Justice Tom Colbert. A wise, handsome man, who recently lost weight and is admired by all, he’s the smartest man in the world and is always fair and impartial and on the side of the people and obscure local social bloggers.

Lost Ogle Q&A: Governor Mary Fallin

rico smith mary fallin

Earlier today, we published a Lost Ogle Q&A with Democratic Gubernatorial Candidate Joe Dorman.

Because we’re fair and balanced, we also sent the same 15 questions to Governor Fallin. I really wasn’t sure what to expect when I emailed her campaign asking about the Q&A. She did take part in one in 2010, but that was four years ago. It was before she was a heavily favored, but unpopular incumbent trying to sputter her way to reelection.

It was also before…

A) We filed a lawsuit against her. And in the process, forced her to release all public records regarding Obamacare, including the embarrassing ones.

B) The rise of Hipster Boo Boo. Our first post about the Governor’s daughter was published in 2011 after we discovered her first engagement website. Since then, we’ve kind of made it a habit to lampoon her ridiculous eccentric attention-craving daughter, who, by the way, has conveniently fallen off the map during the campaign season.

C) Inauguration Speech Plagiarism104-degree Hot Tub. Bowl Game Travel. Twitter Hacks. Open Toed Shoes. The Playboy Mansion Grotto. Yeah, I guess you can say we’ve had fun at Mary’s expense since she became Governor back in 2010. But… it was never planned or intentional. We didn’t seek out or pursue these stories. They all came to us via the Ogle Mole Network. It’s a powerful thing.

Based upon all that stuff, I really didn’t expect Governor Fallin to participate in the Q&A, but after touching base with, and sending the questions, to her Communications Czar Alex Weintz, I got the following response:

alex weintz email

Eureka! Mary Fallin agreed to the Q&A! I know we give her a hard time, but that’s actually a cool thing to do. Kudos to her for taking the high road, and realizing that TLO reaches a large audience of voting Oklahomans who would like a little levity and humor the day before election day.

Check it out…


Q: It’s been over one year since Lord Gary England retired as The Severe Weather Savior of Oklahoma. Who do you now watch during storm season?

A: I loved Gary England, but I now get my weather reports from Mike Morgan. He, like all of our television meteorologists, never hypes things up and does his best to keep Oklahomans safe. The calm, cool, collected demeanor he displays during a severe weather outbreak is very soothing.

Q: When driving to the Oklahoma panhandle, do you chuckle whenever you pass through the towns Beaver, Hooker or Slapout?