Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Archive for Oklahoma Politics

Meg Alexander was snubbed by Mary Fallin on the Ice Bucket Challenge…

Although it’s tempting, I don’t want to be to that guy who bags on the ice bucket challenge fad. For one, I’m a bit of a hypochondriac. Out of all the diseases and illnesses out there that I think I’m going to get in the next six months, ALS scares me the most. Two, we have rightwing Facebook weatherman Aaron Tuttle for that:

aaron tuttle nuts

Yeah, ALS is murdering babies for scientific research. Obviously, that’s 100% scary and true. Know what else is 100% scary and true? Aaron Tuttle is a degreed meteorologist with over 50,000 Facebook fans. What the hell? I guess he’s the guy for people who like a little bit of crazy with their 5-day forecast.

Because we’re cool and on the leading edge of videos that will soon overwhelm your Facebook feed, we first wrote about the Harlem Shake of Good Causes back in mid-July when Meg Alexander took the plunge. Here’s her tweet about it:

Surprisingly, Mary Fallin accepted Meg’s challenge and poured a bucket of ice water over her head. Even more surprisingly, she didn’t melt! Zing!

Here’s the terrifying video:

James Lankford doesn’t understand Dr. Seuss

As we like to remind you, Oklahoma has some pretty stupid politicians. Therefore, you shouldn’t be surprised when they start quoting Dr. Seuss on Facebook:

james lankford abortion

Geeze, let’s hope nobody ever reads to him the Berenstain Bears classic “Mamma Gets an Abortion.” James may pass out.

The problem with Lankford using this often recited quote is that Dr. Seuss was apparently pro-choice. Also, he was very much against other people using his work to further their political agenda. Check out this NPR report from the premier of the “Horton Hears a Who” movie:

ZoBell, an attorney, has represented the interests of Dr. Seuss, or Theodor Geisel, for some 40 years. After the show, ZoBell saw the demonstrators handing out anti-abortion flyers designed to resemble movie tickets. Geisel’s widow, Audrey Geisel, was there — and ZoBell says none of this sat well with her.

“She doesn’t like people to hijack Dr. Seuss characters or material to front their own points of view,” ZoBell said.

Some anti-abortion Web sites say Audrey Geisel supports Planned Parenthood. ZoBell says he’s never discussed such matters with her or her late husband, and that the Geisels never wanted Dr. Seuss characters used to advance any political purpose. But it happens more often than you might think.

So the pro-life movement accuses Dr. Seuss’s widow of supporting Planned Parenthood, but still uses his words for their movement? That would be like Gandhi using quotes from Hitler… or maybe Eva Braun would be more accurate.

Honestly, I’m not 100% sure what Horton Hears a Who is about. I think Dr. Seuss was trying to say that midgets are people… not fetuses. But one thing I am sure about is James Lankford should write his own stuff instead of twisting around the words of others. Here’s an example:

A person’s a person, no matter how small.
In fact, I have millions and they’re inside my ball.

Women aren’t smart, as it says in the Bible.
But don’t quote me on that because it is libel.

I won’t let women choose what they do with their body,
because I get money from the Hobby Lobby.

So what goes through James Lankford’s head when reading Dr. Seuss books? I’m glad you asked, I’ve compiled a list of them:

Mary Fallin does not support medical marijuana…

Mary Fallin Wayne Coyne

After my post last Tuesday about the next steps in our open records lawsuit against Governor Mary Fallin, I mentioned this on Facebook:

We promise. This is the final Mary Fallin related post for the week.

Well, unless she says or does something stupid before Friday. Since that’s a near certainty, I guess disregard my earlier statement and expect a post about Mary Fallin later this week.

Thanks to our Governor, I nearly had to break my promise. Always down for a good challenge, she announced the following day that she’s for the legalization of medicinal marijuana while not being for the legalization of medical marijuana.

Via NewsOK.com:

Gov. Mary Fallin is supporting legalization of a nonintoxicating component of marijuana on a limited, trial basis for use in treating young people with rare conditions that cause seizures and strokes.

The ingredient is cannabidiol oil (CBD), and an interim legislative study is planned.

Wait a second. That’s not stupid. That’s great! I hope the study leads to new moderns laws that give Oklahomans the freedom and power to treat deadly, life altering seizures without being considered criminals.

I wonder what Mary thinks about the people who suffer from other medical conditions? You know, things ranging from pain, insomnia, muscle tension, anxiety, nausea or loss of appetite to potentially fatal diseases like cancer or AIDs? What type of medical marijuana will they be able to get?

So we got Mary’s secret emails. Now what?

wayne coyne mary fallin

As you know, Mary Fallin released the batch of secret emails related to our Open Records lawsuit yesterday afternoon. Now that we got the prize, you’d think we’d be popping champagne bottles and rolling around in the records on the floor like they were hundred dollar bills.

Well, that’s true. I got drunk and made the documents rain at Night Trips last night. Let me tell you, nothing is hotter than folding a paper copy of an email exchange between Glenn Coffee and Denise Northrup in half and then tucking it in a strippers g-string. It’s too bad the strippers disagreed.

The records release, and the timing of it, was obviously a strategic move by Fallin’s campaign. As we noted, they only had a couple of days left to produce a court ordered log of the records containing important details like the date and time sent, senders, recipients and subject lines. They probably figured releasing the emails was better than a random log. I assume sending a 1:30am email to a think-tank lobbyist can look pretty suspicious without any context.

Also, Mary’s office conveniently released the emails on a Monday afternoon during the early stages of her sputtering re-election campaign. That way, they can attempt to twist the issue into a positive, and falsely tout Mary’s record of transparency for the next few months, despite the fact it took 20 months and a lawsuit to get her to do it.

Obviously, this doesn’t sit too well with us. Why should Mary get to play politics and pick when and why she releases open records that the public is entitled to view? That’s not how our open records laws are supposed to work, and it’s why we’ve decided to continue with our lawsuit. I’ll let Ryan Kiesel, the Executive Director of the Oklahoma ACLU, explain it:

“If the Governor had simply produced these documents nearly two years ago in compliance with the Open Records Act, the people of Oklahoma could have been afforded greater transparency and spared unnecessary legal cost. The precedent the Governor is attempting to create would allow the Executive Branch of our state to hide behind bogus privileges, and only reveal requested documents after months of litigation and before untested legal arguments are reviewed by the state’s highest court. Along with our client, we intend to move forward to ensure that the current and future Governors of our great state do not get a blank check when it comes to following the law.” 

So yes, in short, we are pressing forward with our appeal. We’re going to try to make sure that this Governor, and future ones, can’t mute important issues and chose to ignore open record requests until it’s convenient for them.

Of course, some people are asking me this question: why? You got the records. Be content and go home.

I’ll be the first to admit, this wasn’t an easy decision. This whole thing has been controversial. We’ve lost advertising revenue because of it. Plus, there are a lot of people in the journalistic community that don’t want us to pursue this any farther. They’re worried that the Supreme Court will rule in the Governor’s favor, and make it even more difficult to get open records in the future. They want us to drop the case.

You know what, screw those people. We didn’t do this for journalists or boring media outlets or to make money. We are doing this for the people!

Okay, okay, I really did it for the publicity, but give me a second, I’m on a roll here.

Seriously, screw the other media outlets in the state for not having the balls to file this lawsuit. Do you know how sad it is that the only plaintiff the ACLU could land for this case is an “obscure, local social blog” that specializes in crafting fan fiction about meteorologists? Here’s a hint: It’s really sad. It’s like watching Emily Sutton drop a cupcake.

Of course, we’re really not an “obscure local social blog” anymore. Here’s what the AP called us in their wire story:

The 2014 Oklahoma gubernatorial campaign is heating up…

Mary Fallin is on the move. Joe Dorman is on his way to the movies.

With only three months or so until the November election, Mary Fallin and Joe Dorman are starting to rev up their campaigns. I witnessed this first hand on Tuesday night when I spotted this monstrosity barreling down the highway:

mary fallin tour bus

I know you shouldn’t text or take photos and drive, but remember, it’s totally legal to do that in Oklahoma. Plus, there wasn’t a lot of traffic and I was already in the middle of attacking a village in Clash of Clans so I had my phone handy. Trust me, it was perfectly safe.

Anyway, that’s Mary Fallin’s new campaign bus. Apparently, it’s called “Mary on the Move,” which is what her bodyguards usually yell after the Governor’s had dinner at Ted’s. Seriously, was that the best name they could come up? It sounds like it would be a better fit for a Mary Fallin porn parody. We should have a contest to come up with a nickname for it. Off the top of my head, some suggestions are the Derpmobile, Moto Grotto or the Bean Feeder.

Speaking of contests, while Mary is crisscrossing the state attending bean feeds and distancing herself from groups that want to have some fellowship and talk about the Klu Klux Klan, her Democratic opponent Joe Dorman is hard at work campaigning, too. Last week, he called-in to an Oklahoma radio station in hopes of winning free movie tickets: