Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Archive for Oklahoma Politics

Study: 25% of Oklahoma Biology I teachers think humans walked with dinosaurs

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Oklahoma lawmakers are not the only ones who have difficulty understanding (and believing) the fundamentals of biology and evolution.

According to a recent study by researchers Tony Yates and Edmund Marek, a good chunk of Oklahoma Biology I teachers don’t know a lot about those subjects either. Considering we live in Oklahoma, where our TV channels “accidentally” block information about evolution, that’s so surprising.

Here’s a good breakdown of their incredibly depressing study from IAcknowledge.com:

Mike Turner, The “Ban Marriage in Oklahoma” guy, eats his own eye boogers…

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Cameras are everywhere today.

Someone may want to share that bit of wisdom, along with a list of reputable hairstylists, with State Representative and US 5th Congressional District hopeful Mike Turner. He’s the lawmaker who recently filed a bill that would ban all marriage in Oklahoma. He did it not because he’s smart, but to simply prevent gays and the lesbians who stole his hairstyle from getting married.

During a recent debate on the House floor regarding an intrusive big government bill that would prevent local municipalities from enacting their own minimum wages, Mike was caught, well, check out the following video:

Westboro Baptist Church assholes were run out of Moore! (videos)

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The attention whores from Westboro Baptist Church finally stopped by Moore yesterday to protest the hysterical Moore Liquor marquee that celebrated founder Fred Phelps’ death.

The protest went about as well as you could imagine.

Well, it almost did. Although the Westboro idiots didn’t get punched or struck by a big gay rainbow bolt of lightning, the church’s protest was cut short thanks to a counter-protest by a mob of angry Moore residents, tornado victims and the cast from Sons of Anarchy.

It was a pretty cool scene, and the classic battle of bad first amendment rights versus good first amendment rights. You had the church protesters silently holding up their “HEY LOOK AT US” (a.k.a. God Hates Fags) signs and banners, while across the street, divided by a loosely organized wall of police officers and a parade of obnoxious motorcycles and loud diesel trucks, there were counter-protesters screaming, hissing, and tossing inappropriate sign language Westboro’s way. Eventually, some brave counter-protesters who look like they’ve probably been in a bar fight or two tried to cross the road to face the Westboro idiots. Since the Moore police didn’t seem all that interested in stopping them, the Westboro folks scattered into their vans and fled the scene like they got diarrhea from Pickle’s.

As I said, it went about as well as you could imagine.

Channel 5 has a pretty good recap and video, but the third-place news channel in OKC doesn’t allow video embedding on other websites, so screw them and all the pageviews we would have sent their way.

Here are some YouTube clips of all the action instead:

15 Dumbest Photos from the Oklahoma Education Rally

Yesterday, 25,000 educators, students and left-leaning politicians flocked to the Oklahoma Capitol to protest more education budget cuts from the Oklahoma lawmakers. Hard to believe, isn’t it? Oklahoma teachers having to beg for educational funding. That’s hasn’t been going on since, oh, 1907.

The protest was pretty large and cool, and naturally got the attention of our print and TV news media. Knowing that teachers are self-absorbed, attention-craving heathens who love nothing more than to see themselves on television, they…wait…I thought I was writing about Christina Fallin again. My bad.

In addition to the news media, everyone with a phone was taking pics and posting them to Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Grinder. This inspired random photo lists to appear online. Someone, probably a teacher, uploaded 17 of the Sassiest Signs from the rally to Buzzfeed. Former TLO Apprentice and now Death Star subcontractor Matt Carney posted his “10 Best Signs” on the floundering NewsOK.com Digital Desk. Even Mike McCarville got in on the action by downplaying the entire thing and portraying Oklahoma legislators as victims.

Being the son of a distinguished teacher, administrator and education advocate, I thought it would be fun to rebel and post my own photo round-up from the rally. Unfortunately, my original plan to feature the 10 Hottest Teachers from the event didn’t work out too well. I guess all the pom coaches stayed behind to get manicures. Undeterred, I then combed through photo after photo looking for blatant misspellings or any sign comparing Obama to Hitler. That didn’t turn up much either. Apparently, these pro-education rallies are much different from the ones put on by the Tea Party.

Finally, I settled upon the 15 dumbest photos from the event. In no particular order, here they are:

Uh oh, fake names appeared on a pro-Common Core petition. I wonder where they came from.

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Thanks to the amazing reporting skills of News 9, the Common Core controversy is in the news again. This time around, it has to do with signatures collected for an online (keyword: online) petition drive in support of the educational standards.

Via News 9:

More controversy for Common Core. Common Core is a set of rigorous educational standards the Oklahoma legislature adopted in 2010 and is now considering repealing.

Now, some names on a petition, from a group hoping to keep Common Core, were faked. The group, Stand for Children Oklahoma, presented a petition to legislators in early March with 7,000 signatures, but many people whose names are on the list said they didn’t sign it.

Whoa! Really?!? You’re telling me some of the names collected in an online petition may be fake? Get out! Before you know it, they’re going to tell us that Biggus Diccus from Rome isn’t a real person.

Cue the angry anti-Common Core parent whose name just happened to be on the petition:

Sherri Crawford is one of those. She’s adamantly against Common Core.

“My second grader comes home frustrated with math, because they want him to do five different methods and he gets it one way.”

So, imagine her surprise when her name showed up on a petition supporting it.

When asked if she signed it, she responded, “No, absolutely not.”

Sherri found out her name was on the petition after a group of moms, who oppose common core, got a hold of it and started checking the names. They said they found not only several obviously fake names, like Barrack Obama, but more than a thousand they have personally verified didn’t sign it.

“Several of the people I have talked to personally have said I have never seen that email, nor am I on that e-mail list, I have no idea how they got my name,” said Kelli Dodd.

Yeah, I wonder how “they” got your name. Here are three likely scenarios:

Scenario A: Stand for Children Oklahoma added the names of 1,000 “adamant” Common Core opponents to the petition, because, uhm, they lack intelligence. Seriously, if they’re going to add fake names, why would they chose people who lobby against common core. Also, why would they only add 1,000 more signatures. Like that really matters. Go big to go home.

Scenario B: Opponents of Common Core went online and sabotaged the online petition knowing they could dupe Channel 9 into producing a ridiculous story about it, thus giving their cause more publicity and attention. That kind of makes sense, huh? Seeing how passionate and somewhat nutty the opponents of Common Core seem to be, I wouldn’t put that past them.

Scenario C: It’s was placed on the petition by the rising and falling water levels at Lake Arcadia. This is the one I’m leaning towards. Of course, that’s only because one of big Common Core opponents in the state is Angela Little. She just happens to be one of the girls pictured in the infamous Amy McRee photo that was taken at Lake Arcadia. Coincidence? I think not?

Here she is: