Archive for the 'Oklahoma Politics' Category

The Oklahoma Battle Royale

Published by
Clark Matthews
 at May 9, 2008

First came the Jim Traber/Mark Rodgers tiff.  Now, the state capitol is getting in the fighting mood.  According to an Associated Press report:

Sen. Patrick Anderson, R-Enid, told the Tulsa World that Rep. Randy Terrill, R-Moore, tried to pick a fight with him, using words to the effect, “I’ll whip your ass.”

Now, we can argue all day and night about the vast array of meanings a phrase like “I’ll whip your ass” can take on, but let’s just assume it was the most common usage.  That means TheLostOgle.com’s favorite state congressman is not only a racist, but a bit of a bully.  But, why was he so upset that he went after a member of his own party?

Oh, the usual.  Terrill introduced a new, racist, bill** trying to outlaw Spanish being spoken anywhere at anytime, and the outcry caused Senator Anderson to get overloaded with calls from constituents attempting to persuade him to vote for the bill.  Of course, that outcry was created by Terrill robocalling Anderson’s district begging like minded people to flood Anderson with calls.  For his part, Anderson passed on those concerns to Representative Xenophobe by way of forwarding every single call to Terrill’s office, including a a call from Mrs. Anderson requesting that her husband pick up some tamales on the way home.

So, as one can see, it was a perfectly rational argument between two grown men.  Regardless, we at TheLostOgle have been wondering why there has been a rash of scuffles lately.  Then, we found out that they are all staged in promoting a local Battle Royale wrestling event.  It made perfect sense when we uncovered the teams: Continue reading ‘The Oklahoma Battle Royale’

Category: Hinder, Jenni Carlson, Jim Traber, Mark Rodgers, Oklahoma City Media, Oklahoma Politics and The Lost Ogle. 26 Comments

Oklahoma is Having a Barack Attack

Published by
Clark Matthews
 at April 23, 2008

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjXyqcx-mYY

To be fair, I was one of the early converts.  Back in 2004, even before his glorious speech at the Democratic National Convention, my wife brought him to my attention.  I remember the moment clearly.  It was a Thursday evening and I was headed to play flag football in the worst flag football league ever assembled by man.  After picking up one of my teammates, my cell phone rang and upon answering, my wife immediately began recounting a speech she had just seen.  It was hard to understand her since she kind of sounded like one of those girls you see screaming in the background whenever they show The Beatles first appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show.  She was sure he was going to be President.   As I hung up the phone my friend asked what that was all about.  “My wife is about to leave me for some dude named Obama something-or-other,” I told him.

“Osama who?” he asked.

And so it went in this state for four years.  Barack Obama became a rising star in American politics, was elected to the Senate by an astounding margin for a first time candidate, and by the Iowa caucuses of 2008, he looked like the only chance of slaying the Clinton juggernaut.  Meanwhile, Oklahomans generally thought of him as that black guy running for President.  Or, if they were anything like my Grandpa, they thought he was Arab.

It seems like the state is coming around.  (Not in time for our Super Tuesday primary, mind you, in which Hillary got something like 75% of the vote.)  In the past few weeks, while Obama was dealing with Clinton’s “kitchen sink” strategy in the run up to the Pennsylvania primary, the news out of Oklahoma has been all good for him. Continue reading ‘Oklahoma is Having a Barack Attack’

Category: Brad Henry and Oklahoma Politics. 14 Comments

At least she pays property taxes…

Published by
Patrick
 at March 8, 2008

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFxk7glmMbo

The lady giving the little anti-gay manifesto in the YouTube clip above is State Rep Sally Kern. She represents the brilliant people living in District 84 in Western Oklahoma City and frighteningly enough is the chair of the House Social Services Committee. As a raging heterosexual, Sally’s right-wing stereotypical Oklahoma conservative rant on homosexuality really pisses me off. In fact, it pisses me off so much that I:

• Decided to give you <edit alert!> a link to her district homepage that shows her home address in case you want to send her a letter.

• Provided you with <edit alert!> a link to picture of her house that is openly available at the Oklahoma County Assessor web page. This is in case you want to go egg it or paint a huge rainbow on the garage.

• Did some Internet sleuthing trying to hopefully uncover that one of her sons mentioned on her bio page, Jesse or Nathan, may be gay. Unfortunately, all I could found out is that one of them is apparently married to this chick. Maybe Hopefully she’s a lesbian or something. Because that would be ironic! Get it??? Satire. Ha ha.

Anyway, I’d like to think that Sally Kern would resign or get disciplined or something, but judging from the somewhat arrogant, unapologetic statements in this Channel 9 interview, I’ll bet that she’ll run for some bigger office and probably win.

(Update: Originally, we displayed picture of Ms. Kern’s house and her daughter-in-law. Because it’s Sunday, we’ve decided just link to those images. This may be a sign that we are developing a conscience, but I doubt it.)

Category: Oklahoma Politics. 72 Comments

Big League City?

Published by
Clark Matthews
 at February 29, 2008

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubNNhaBb_B4

In the minutes of grueling research I do for this website, I ran across the YouTube video you can watch above. I have no idea who had the access to, or had the idea to upload a forty-year old commercial related to a local bond issue. That said, thank you “Silentsensei.”

For one, I learned that people who voted before my parents were eligible to cast ballots changed the course of this city. In Yessing ‘em all, our forefathers (and I guess mothers since this was post-suffrage) made it where I can partake in drinking water. I like water. They improved the sewer systems. I like not smelling feces. It also created the Northwest Expressway and expanded many major roads of this city from two to four lanes. I like not sitting in traffic. After seeing this commercial, I wondered what our fair city would look like if the residents of that time had No’ed ‘em all….probably a bit like the Oklahoma City portrayed in Saving Grace.

Oklahoma City’s next chance to leap forward comes March 4th. This campaign slogan is not as catchy or instructive as yes ‘em all, but Big League City does have some merit. As my public service to you, I will rattle off the talking points. Continue reading ‘Big League City?’

Category: Basketball in OKC, Mick Cornett, NBA in OKC, OKC Advertising, Oklahoma Politics and Sports. 33 Comments

The Tulsa World Gives Me Nightmares

Published by
Tony
 at February 13, 2008

Yesterday, there was an article in the Tulsa World that will surely go down as the scariest news story of 2008. This was not about a murderer on the loose or some incurable disease that’s spreading across the country: No, this story involves speculation that Tom Coburn could be selected as John McCain’s running mate in the 2008 election.

I think we all can agree that this is somewhere between “hilariously bad” and “horrifyingly bad” on the scale of bad ideas.

Still, it would be pretty cool to have an Oklahoman in the White House (or, I guess, one heartbeat away from the White House). It’s just that there are so many better choices than Coburn. Here are a few ideas for potential presidential running mates, and what they would bring to the ticket/administration:

Brad Henry

Can you hear it now, fellow citizens? We’re talking Green Card Lottery Expert.

James Hale

Could convince a nation that, even in a time of recession, that nothing is wrong. And when one of the president’s bills gets voted down, could make it clear that the President never wanted the bill to pass in the first place. Also, would likely shut down all of America’s Burger Kings.

Megan Mullalley

Has a shockingly boisterous following that would immediately enthuse campaign.

Doug Gottlieb

When a gaffe occurs during the campaign, could deflect attention away from the candidate by running around with his pants on backwards.

Paul Harvey

Uniquely qualified for job as politician as he has no problem telling outlandish, colorful stories with little basis in fact.

Dr. Phil

Can apparently solve massive problems with nothing more than a 1-hour television program. Imagine what he could do if he had a 1-hour television program PLUS the ability to control the United States Navy. I know, right?

Dear readers, tell us what Okie you’d like to see on the ticket this November.

(And thanks to the elusive BabySealClubSamich for alerting me to this potential atrocity)

Category: Oklahoma Politics. 38 Comments

Primary Today

Published by
Clark Matthews
 at February 5, 2008

A few of our readers may be aware that there is a Presidential campaign in process. One or two of those politically in tuned readers might even realize that today is Super Tuesday, which is now when Oklahoma’s primary takes place. For those who are surprised by this news, I cannot really blame you. With the exception of a few Ron Paul signs around town and a handful of Barack Obama commercials, this state has been largely untouched by any candidate. Part of it is because we are a small state disbursing our delegates on the same day as New York and California. The rest is that Oklahoma is a really weird state politically.

Case in point: Ron Paul is going all out in this state. Not being a Republican, I cannot say I have been following him closely, but my initial reaction to him is that he is Ross Perot without the funny ears. My favorite Paul tactic when he gets invited to the debates (something the Democrats finally stopped doing for Dennis Kucinich, their lunatic candidate) is how he keeps reciting, “No one is talking about cutting spending,” like a parrot who knows no other phrases after every other candidate gives spending cuts lip service. Then again, his complete disregard for reality would be par for the course in regard to candidates this state supports.

On the Democratic side, there will be a lot of disenfranchised white men going to the polls. After John Edwards dropped out last week, most people think they only have an historic choice between a woman or an African-American man. (For the record, the correct choice is Barack Obama.) Of course, in this state there is an alternative.

Jim Rogers is a local man who shuns the idea that a President needs to campaign nationwide. Heck, he even laughs at the conventional wisdom that you need to campaign, at all. For someone who blew a few thousand dollars to get his name on the ballot, he has been completely cavalier in actually attempting to get any votes outside of his immediate family. I’ve scoured the internet and found nothing on the man. Seriously, look at Rogers’ profile at Project Vote Smart. At least on The Green Papers I was able to learn he declared on November 21st of 2007 and that his address is Midwest City, 73110. So, his address is just as vague as everything else about him.

As a result of Rogers’ laziness to even come up with a website (I mean, seriously, this site is a testament to how easy it is to get a presence on the world wide web), I have decided to become his campaign manager. And, as his personal Karl Rove, that means I get to create his platform. So, after the jump, I have outlined some of his stances. Continue reading ‘Primary Today’

Category: Oklahoma Politics. 15 Comments

Lance Cargill eats puppies…

Published by
Patrick
 at January 28, 2008

Don’t let that nice picture fool you! Lost Ogle sources have confirmed that Oklahoma House Speaker (and Idea List Maker ) Lance Cargill eats puppies in his spare time, and when nobody is looking, dumps their carcasses near some abandoned warehouse in Southeast Oklahoma City!

Actually, to be perfectly honest, our “sources” really haven’t really confirmed this story at all. It’s just something that we made up because the Daily Oklahoman published a “not so good” article regarding Cargill this past weekend. Here is the first sentence of the article:

Oklahoma House Speaker Lance Cargill was delinquent in paying property taxes on his Harrah law office six years in a row, an investigation by The Oklahoman revealed.

Yeah…when the Daily Oklahoman starts launching “investigations” into Republican House Speakers, you know that there has to be something bigger and badder going on than some dude just trying to avoid forgetting to paying taxes. Maybe he messes up Ed Kelley’s hair whenever they meet, or maybe he believes in global warming, but I’m starting to think the state’s newspaper doesn’t like him.

And in other Lance Cargill news, his “100 Ideas book” will be available on Tuesday. There has been no word yet if any of our ideas made the final list ( at least idea #3485 made the website), but some probably should have. There’s also been no word on if an idea about “forgetting” to pay your taxes made the list, either.

Category: 100 Ideas and Oklahoma Politics. 12 Comments

Chuck Norris: Kingmaker

Published by
Clark Matthews
 at January 8, 2008

In honor of today’s, first in the nation, primaries in New Hampshire, I bring you this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjYv2YW6azE

I have to say that I was a bit intimidated last Thursday.  After Iowa held its caucus, I was surprised that darkhorse candidate, and former Arkansas governor, Mike Huckabee took home a plurality of the 14 caucusers who came out for the GOP side.  Then, Huckabee gave his victory speech and behind him, Oklahoma’s own Chuck Norris stared through the camera with his cold, dark eyes right at me.  His eyes said:  “Clark, you will change your voter registration and begin campaigning for Mike Huckabee.  Pay no attention that his plan to abolish the IRS will cripple the U.S. economy.  Do as I say!”

After that sight, I wondered how Huckabee didn’t win unanimously.

Category: Oklahoma Politics. 21 Comments

New Year’s Resolutions

Published by
Clark Matthews
 at January 1, 2008

Now that the ball has dropped and 2007 is gone, it is time for the New Year’s traditions. Growing up, my dad would always make us eat black eyed peas on January 1st because it supposedly brought forth good luck. Considering that they taste like something found in the cup seen in the video these people are watching, they damn well better bring some good fortune. Otherwise, I’d almost rather do as the Coney Island Polar Bear Club does for good luck and swim in freezing ocean water.

Of course the most common New Year’s tradition is the New Year’s Resolution. That’s where everyone makes a promise to give up a vice or improve their lifestyle in a way that will make this year better than the last…kind of like lent without the religion. And like lent, these resolutions are rarely followed up on for more than forty days.

Being slaves to tradition, we at TheLostOgle have resolved to be better people in 2008. I tried to think of something funnier than staying on top of housework, but seriously, my house is a pigsty. My son ambled out of the living room last night, and it took me a couple of minutes to find him. In order to avoid an Amber Alert narrowed down to Matthews’ Manor, I’m going to stick with that one.

I checked with Patrick, and his goal for 2008 is to create a drinking game for the Oklahoma Lottery Gameshow. Meanwhile, Tony plans to leave his apartment at some point during the year. After the jump, I have assigned some resolutions to a few other people, and in the comments section, you can provide your own plans for a better you. Continue reading ‘New Year’s Resolutions’

Category: Amy McRee, Brad Henry, Gary England, Jenni Carlson, Jim Traber, Oklahoma Politics and Toby Keith. 12 Comments

Here Comes Santa Clark

Published by
Clark Matthews
 at December 21, 2007

It’s been a tough week for a CPA/blogger. A multitude of things has made it difficult for me to serve you, TheLostOgle.com reader. For one, year end is fast approaching which has created much work for me, meaning no downtime during the day to rattle off thousand word tomes about Tom Coburn investigating spending bills in search secret slush funds for recruiting lesbians in Southwest Oklahoma or a journal about me fighting holiday traffic. Second, it seems I have had a busy social life for the past couple of weeks. If I’m not out taking my kid to scream at Northpark Mall’s Santa Claus, I am actually being invited to Christmas parties…which is strange considering my behavior at parties is basically limited to standing against the wall and engaging anyone who comes across me in a debate about whether accrual or cash basis accounting is superior. (If you have to ask, the answer is accrual, you cretin.)

The last reason is that I have been contracted out by the Santa Claus to fill the stockings of Oklahoma’s finest citizens. Rather than waiting until Christmas morning to find out what is in store, I figured I would cut the suspense and let you know after the jump. Continue reading ‘Here Comes Santa Clark’

Category: Jenni Carlson, Jim Inhofe, Justice League of Oklahoma, Mike Gundy, OSU Basketball, Oklahoma Politics, Sean Sutton and The Lost Ogle. 12 Comments
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