Well we’ve officially entered the heat of summer in OKC so it is time to find a place to cool off. If you don’t have access to a pool, a boat or friends you can mooch off of in that capacity, here are some things you can do this weekend!
Have we not suffered enough?
All the national news that comes out of Oklahoma is bad. If there are good stories here, no one wants to tell them. The closest thing to a nice ol’ movie about the Sooner state is that dumb ‘Oklahoma!’ musical that is the most simplified and pablum view of life in this mullet-shaped state.
Now, some old fart Hollywood bigshots want to make a movie about a part of our state’s history that is, as you could probably guess, historically interesting but also incredibly shameful.
From NewsOK:
Although they do not specifically target virgins at summer camps, The Oklahoma earthquake epidemic is a lot like a horror movie monster. It’s elusive, treacherous, hard to predict, and just when you think it’s safe to hangout in Bricktown again, it returns with a vengeance, shaking your fears and rattling your sense of safety.
Oklahomans from all across the state experienced this last Friday when another man-made earthquake shook our red earth foundations. This one occurred near Stroud and reached a pesky 4.2 on the Richter. It’s what Mike Morgan would call a lil’ rumbler.
News 9 filed this report:
Scientists are working to determine what caused six earthquakes near Stroud Friday morning. The cluster started with a 4.2 magnitude earthquake, and five more quickly followed nearby.
Wait a second? “Scientists are working to determine the cause of the quake?” That’s weird. Can someone show them this episode of 60 Minutes, or this article in The New Yorker, or this article in the LA Times, or any of the other scientific articles that connect the Oklahoma earthquake swarms to irresponsible and negligent injection of oceans of wastewater deep under our crust?
Here’s more:
I guess it’s time for another scandal in the Oklahoma legislature! This time around, it’s in the form of a traditional nasty and bitter divorce.
We’ve learned Oklahoma State Rep Kevin McDugle (R), a former Marine and entrepreneur, has been accused of infidelity and anger management issues in a recent divorce petition we acquired via the Ogle Mole Network.
The petition was filed in Wagoner County Court on June 15th by Tosha McDugle. She’s seeking a divorce on grounds of adultery, incompatibility and, presumably, the shame of being associated with an Oklahoma lawmaker. She’s seeking full custody of the couple’s children, and has strict demands and rules for visitation visits.
The petition is located after the jump:
Like the living embodiment of a Land Run chuckwagon mowing over a tribe of Native Americans before the starting shots were even fired, all around fraudulent pop icon Ree Drummond, a.k.a. the Pioneer Woman, has seen her pseudo-Okie Empire grow just a little bit bigger with the debut release of her sold-out rustic lifestyle magazine this past week, imaginatively titled The Pioneer Woman. (If you can’t find a copy, don’t worry, just ask the first available mom you see outside a Target to borrow her Frappuccino stained copy.)
According to her polished, hand-crafted creation myth, Ree was born and raised on a country club in Bartlesville, relocated to Los Angeles for college, and then said goodbye to city life, married a wealthy cattleman from one of Oklahoma’s most powerful families, and began blogging about the sanctity of “country” living, home schooling and eating butter from her multi-million dollar compound near Pawhuska – a city where her Mercantile and Deli brings in close to $6,000 tourism dollars a day from people who just find the experience of buying one her skillets at Wal-Mart not enough.
Ree’s most loved for her warmed-over Southern Living recipes that were stolen from a Bartlesville country club member cookbook. Most of them are basic and derivative and wholly unspecial, but you wouldn’t know it from the rambling preamble that proceeds that main feature and the usually tediously cutesy anecdotes about homeschooling her kids or the Marlboro Man’s butt.
With my rant over, and after a bit of delegation, here are five of the Pioneer Woman’s worst, laziest and most questionable recipes that have made her a superstar and your mother an Ugg-wearing alcoholic who can in no way compete.
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