Hide ya kids, hide ya wife, and keep your off-brand soda discreet- the Gathering of the Juggalos is in Oklahoma City this year, and it is gonna be a wild time. Thousands of ninjas from around the country have already begun to descend on the city for the Insane Clown Posse’s four-day festival that begins today at Lost Lakes Amphitheater. The line-up is primarily made up of white rappers and nu-metal bands, alongside a myriad of other events, such as amateur wrestling, row boating, Texas Hold ‘Em, and something called “The Neden Game.”

Instead of insulting and condescending to this horde of Hatchetmen and women that are invading Oklahoma to have a fun time, I’m here to welcome them with suggestions of where to go when they need a break from the festivities. Slather on that greasepaint and hit the road to some of OKC’s best spots. Whoop whoop!

Pop’s

Not only will the building look dope on your Snapchat feed, but they have over 700 varieties of soda for your drinking or spraying pleasure (Yes, they have Faygo).

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Old Paris Flea Market

Did you forget to bring Zig-Zags, or just desperately need a waterpipe shaped like a jester? What about ninjas stars, or perhaps a live animal? You can even get some hot mixtapes, and best of all, you won’t need much chedda to ball out here.

In last Thursday’s paper, The Oklahoman published a ridiculous editorial that attempted to compare the eugenics movement –  a cruel social experiment popularized in the early 1900s that aimed to improve the genetic composition of the human race through selective breeding and the sterilization of targeted “undesirables” like the poor, disabled and minorities – to modern scientific study.

Although the paper doesn’t mention the words specifically, it’s basically just another attempt by “The State’s Most Trusted News” to discredit and cast doubt upon the proven science of global warming – the biggest environmental crisis we’ll face as a civilization.

Get your eyes ready to roll…

In policy debates, bowing to “science” can lead down dark paths

AMONG the most intellectually offensive tactics of some activists is to proclaim “science” a cudgel for silencing debate. That’s not a new practice, and it’s worth noting how acquiescence to such tactics played out in the past.

Throughout much of the first half of the 20th century, the “science” of eugenics was aggressively promoted by prominent politicians, attorneys and medical professionals, particularly political progressives. Darwinian evolution and advances in genetics and biology were cited as scientific justification for a wide range of policies, including forced sterilization.

Yep. It’s “intellectually offensive” to go all Thomas Dolby and proclaim “Science” a cudgel for silencing debate,” but using a sick social movement of the early 1900s to unfairly discredit science is intellectually brilliant and A-okay! Who cares that eugenics was developed in a time before the advent of technologies, breakthroughs and discoveries that have revolutionized our understanding of the human body and universe around us. It’s a totally fair comparison.

Here’s more:

In 1915, Dr. W.C. Rucker, associate surgeon general of the U.S. Public Health Service, flatly declared, “Eugenics is a science. It is a fact, not a fad.”

In 1916, an Oklahoma State Board of Health column, which ran statewide, declared the object of eugenics was “the improvement of the inherent type and the mental and physical capacities of the individual in the future.” The board advised the “most important eugenic recommendations” included “segregation of defectives so that they may not mingle their family traits with those on sound lines” and “sterilization of certain gross and hopeless defectives.

Right. And until the mid-1800s, many doctors practiced bloodletting. Maybe The Oklahoman is saving that example for an editorial that attempts to cast doubt on the science surrounding man-made earthquakes.

Seriously, what point are they trying to make here? Are we supposed to be weary and distrustful of the scientific consensus because some uninformed physicians who lived 100 years ago thought it was okay to practice selective breeding on humans? This argument is so stupid it’s insulting. It’s like comparing apples to Orange Crush. Hell, even The Blaze wouldn’t publish an editorial this ridiculous.

Actually, they will. Check out this article from April of 2016:

Let the infighting begin!

Last week, we witnessed another great moment in Oklahoma political theatre when several high-ranking Republican members of the legislature used the local media to bicker, argue and deflect blame on recently announced budget cuts to DHS.

Here’s the synopsis of what happened…

Earlier this month, DHS announced cuts to essential programs for foster children, the elderly, people with developmental disabilities, and other greedy, lazy, unsympathetic heathens who suck from the government teat. The cuts were primarily due to the Oklahoma legislature narrowly passing a flawed budget in May that didn’t adequately fund the agency.

DHS’s announcement irritated Oklahoma House Speaker / gender role stereotyper Charles McCall and his partner in crime – House Majority Leader Mike Sanders. They had the nerve to publicly criticize DHS for the announced cuts, which would be like your barber making fun of you for getting a bad haircut.

Here’s what Speaker McCall had to say:

“Frankly, I am perplexed as to why an agency that could afford these programs last year would claim it can no longer afford them this year after receiving a $53 million increase from taxpayers,” said McCall. “This is an agency that received $700 million in taxpayer dollars last session. We worked diligently during the legislative session to meet the needs of the agency as Director Lake requested, so this announcement to cut programs is surprising, to say the least.”

Here’s what Mike Sanders said:

“I’m asking for Oklahomans to turn their outrage toward the appropriate party in this matter – DHS – and demand they do the right thing and provide meals for our seniors, in-home services for our disabled adults and appropriate funding for foster care and adopted children. I also call on the agency to stop playing political football with vulnerable state residents and taxpayer dollars.”

Fun fact – Sanders and McCall are both lemmings for the Oklahoma Council of Public Affairs. It’s the anti-government, ultra-right wing lobbying group that worked with the oil industry to put Oklahoma in the financial mess it’s in today, and help block any meaningful legislation to address the state budget crisis. Basically, they’re the inmates running the asylum.

In a rare move of opportunistic political defiance, several high-ranking Republican lawmakers defended the agency’s cuts. Leslie Osborne, the Chair of House Appropriation and Budget Chair and loving mom of Garth from Wayne’s World, issued the following statement via a press release: