A love note to the Oklahoma pollen count.
First of all, I lied. This is not a love note. Don’t look surprised. Many of us humans harbor a love/hate relationship with you. We understand pollen is an important part of the reproduction cycle of plant life. Without you, the Earth would be a dull, Mars-like planet where most, if not all, of humankind would be dead. Hell, we may have never existed.
So yes, I am appreciative of you. However, you’re also two-faced jerk. Instead of being the all-around good guy, you abuse the relationship by attempting to ruin every day, summer or winter, through one of your plant or tree henchman.
I’m looking at you cedar trees. You know most plants and trees release pollen during the warmer months, wreaking havoc on allergy sufferers day and night. You Cedar trees, you have other ideas. You pollinate beginning in September, and damn have you made your presence noticed in the last two days.
I’m injected with two allergy shots every week . I have done so for years. You do not care. You must find it funny. The only way it could be worse is if pollen was transported by cockroaches. Not only would that be disgusting, but I am highly allergic to cockroaches, as when tested, my reaction to them was rated nine out of ten.
Why am I giving you ideas? You know what? I’m done talking to you, pollen. You don’t care and never listen. Just leave us alone.
Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town….