Brenton Hager is in jail… again

Last week, we received the following email in the TLO inbox ( It was allegedly from everyone’s favorite off-roading criminal – Brenton Hager. If you remember correctly, we dubbed the whippersnapper as the hero Oklahoma needs

Let’s hope Brenton finds a prison with good internet access, because it looks like he’s going to be there a while!

Less than two weeks after he bonded out of the Cleveland County Jail following his famed police chase, Brenton Hager is once again behind bars after he was quietly arrested at an Oklahoma City motel for stealing another four-wheel drive vehicle. Now he finds himself in the place he was desperately trying to avoid the first time – the Oklahoma County Jail.

Here are the details via

Fantastic Finds at Dollar General: A TLO Holiday Gift Guide

Broke college students and small town dwellers of Oklahoma, rejoice! KFOR recently announced that Dollar General, America’s #1 knockoff brand and “as seen on TV” gadget provider, will be opening 900 new stores within the next year. So to commemorate this grand announcement, as well as come up with a Christmas gift guide that is within the budget of someone whose income partially depends on writing for an obscure local social blog, I decided to explore my local Dollar General for fantastic finds. So here is your 2017 Dollar General Holiday Gift Guide:

OKC Media already teasing a Christmas Snowmageddon

Earlier this week, the attention hungry OKC weather media began to collectively tease a “possible” winter weather event that may or may not hit around the Christmas holiday.

Yep, that’s right. The TV weatherheads are crying “Christmas Snow.” They’re doing this despite:

A) They’ve failed miserably in forecasting recent weather events for the metro. Who could forget last year’s ice storm that never happened, or the famed Christmas blizzard fizzle? The Oklahoma weather media’s specialty is spring-time severe weather. Paying attention to what they say about winter weather events 11 days in advance would be like going to Cattlemen’s and ordering the chicken.

B) Any weather forecast that goes beyond five days is basically a highly speculative shot in the dark. It would be like trying to forecast what a stock price will be like two weeks later. Sure, you can have a general idea of what will happen, but unless you’re God and have insider knowledge, you don’t really know.

Mike Morgan shared some tweets about the probably-maybe winter weather event. According to him, the snow that’s going to hit us in 288 hours is currently killing time at a sushi bar in Japan.

He’s saying there’s a 30% chance of snow on Christmas? Uhm, couldn’t you say that at just about any time in Oklahoma from December through February? I’m going to go on record now and say there’s a 30% chance of snow on January 18th. Now if it snows on that date, I get to brag about calling it first. If it doesn’t, I’ll blame the unpredictable weather.

Mike wasn’t the first person in the local weather media to seek attention by teasing Christmas snow during the middle part of the B.C. Clark Anniversary Sale. Naturally, that honor went to our good pal Aaron “Coppertone” Tuttle:

Kirk Humphreys issues half-assed non-apology apology…

“Hopefully this all blows over soon.”

That has to be the first thing on the mind of Kirk Humphreys, David Boren and the rest of the Oklahoma Establishment Ruling Class as calls for Humphreys to resign from the OU Board of Regents intensifies.

If you remember correctly, Humphreys – an OU regent and long-time documented homophobe –essentially said on Flashpoint this past weekend that he finds homosexuality to be an immoral, deviant act, and feels that if you embrace and normalize it as a culture, then you should be consistent and embrace other immoral deviant acts like pedophilia. Basically, he has the typical evangelical conservative Oklahoman viewpoint on homosexuality.

On Monday night, Humphreys backtracked and issued the following half-assed non-apology apology:

Quarterly reminder: Oklahoma is still one of the worst states in the nation

Obviously, y’all come here for a heavy dose of cynicism. If you wanted to be constantly imbued with the idea that Oklahoma is the greatest place in the universe, you’d work at a trendy boutique that sold a lot of screen-printed t-shirts emblazoned with cute logos in the shape of our state, or slogans like ‘Brunch & Dogs & Yoga & Queso.”

Instead, you’re here, champing at the bit to find out new reasons to despise the place you live. No fear, some new studies came out this week. I got you fam! First, from KOCO:

Oklahoma is among the country’s top 10 worst-run states, according to a recent study by 24/7 Wall St.

The study reviews economic indicators, budget allocations and balance sheets, in addition to a range of social measures to rank how well each state is run.

The report ranks Oklahoma the ninth worst-run state…

Minnesota is the best-run state in the country, while Louisiana is the worst-run state, according to the report.

SUCK ON THAT, LOUISIANA! Also, is anyone reading this in Minneapolis who is looking for a roommate?

None of this should be any surprise to our faithful readers. Another sad study was reported on by the Tulsa World: