Kevin Stitt Intensifies Efforts To Pray Away Pandemic…

With Coronavirus cases, hospitalizations, and deaths surging across the state thanks, in part, to his own incompetence, Oklahoma Governor Kevin Stitt is once again turning to a tried, true and highly-ineffective way of battling a global pandemic – prayer.

Last night, we learned via the Ogle Mole Network that Governor Stitt hosted a Zoom meeting with members of the Oklahoma clergy.

In the meeting, he reviewed carefully crafted, PR-polished, talking points, listened to Evangelical church leaders praise his leadership, ignored questions about mask mandates, and announced he’ll be calling for a day of prayer and fasting on December 3rd.

Here’s a breakdown of the meeting that Diana Davies – a minister for the First Unitarian Church in Oklahoma City – shared on Facebook. She got a last-minute invite to the Evangelical-focused call thanks to the Oklahoma Conference of Churches.

Dumb OU Fans Beat Up OSU Equipment Manager

Saturday night’s Bedlam beatdown touched all levels of the OSU football program.

Over the weekend, reports surfaced on social media that an OSU equipment manager was jumped in the stands on Saturday night while trying to stop OU fans from following their cool-yet-assholish tradition of throwing the opponents’ football out of the stadium following a made field goal.

Here’s a first-hand report from the equipment manager’s aunt:

TLO Restaurant Review: Ray’s Café

I’ve successfully avoided 2727 NW 50th for over twenty years.

I’m very well versed in the series of former restaurants that have called that space home, up until the time I moved far away. You see, when I was a chubby teenager trying to survive in an abusive home, being a couple of blocks away, it was always the scene of my spontaneous gorges and gratuitous purges. I especially enjoyed my post-dinner meal of then Pizza 44’s dirt-cheap buffet.

That part of town has changed quite a bit since I left, with the exception of the building that holds the current tenant, Ray’s Café. Still, its inherent dinginess belies a decent restaurant that has survived that cursed spot for many years, offering everything from Indian Tacos on Tuesday to Persian Nights on Friday.

7 quarantine-inspired beers for the Oklahoma homebrewer!

Since COVID-19 doesn’t seem to be going away any time soon, Oklahomans are having to find new ways to entertain themselves from the comfort of their own home. According to News 9, during the pandemic many Okies started diving deep into the hobby of homebrewing and learning to create their own crafts. As a local brewery aficionado and an assistant/taste-tester to a homebrewer, I know Oklahomans generally have a knack for the nectar. So here are 7 quarantine-inspired beers for the Oklahoma homebrewer!

“See You Lager”

The “See You Lager” is a brew that was specially crafted to enjoy during shelter-in-place. Being that the COVID-19 numbers keep rising in the state, it’s a good thing this lager is a session brew. Traditionally, session beers are lower in alcohol so they can be enjoyed for longer periods of time without reaching a state of inebriation and it looks like we’re probably going to be here a while.

How to Have an Old-Fashioned Super-Spreader Thanksgiving!

To paraphrase the late Andy Warhol, in the future every Oklahoman will get their fifteen minutes of Covid.

As footage of the mile-long line of collegiate rotters outside of the terribly-named Logie’s in Norman hit social media last Friday—mere hours after our political leaders decided to take yet another limp stance against any real type of serious mandate—we all have to come to terms that, eventually, we’re all going to catch the virus and, if not die, at least suffer miserably.

But, as I’m sure your Conservative relatives will tell you repeatedly this Thanksgiving, the Covid hoax has a 99.8% recovery rate. With that line of thinking, like the pilgrims that murdered the Indigenous people that welcomed them, it’s going to take some tough love and tougher respiratory pain to get the point across that this virus is no laughing matter.

With Thanksgiving being called the “worst super-spreader event in human history”—at least until Christmas, that is—here in Oklahoma, no communist atheists are going to tell what holidays we can or can’t celebrate, so here’s a few tips quick and easy tips to make sure your Thanksgiving will be a cornucopia of viral blessings.

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Lick All the Silverware

When setting the Thanksgiving table with gram-gram’s antique silverware, before you place each utensil on the perfectly folded cloth napkins, give each fork, spoon and knife a virtual bath with your wriggly tongue, allowing small pools of spittle to form underneath each shiny implement of turkey-based tableware.

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Pre-Use All the Napkins

Farewell, Steven Adams…

Sometimes, maybe most of the time, being a sports fan hurts your feelings.

The thrill of a big win is the dopamine rush that keeps you going, following your team and buying overpriced merchandise and $10 beers at the arena. But invariably, something happens that sucks the wind out of you.

This last weekend, Oklahoma City let out a loud collective ‘NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!’ upon hearing the news that beloved Thunder center Steven Adams was traded to the New Orleans Pelicans in a 4-team deal. In Sam Presti’s determined quest to own every single draft pick for the next decade, he jettisoned the one player that bound OKC fans together.

It’s clear that Presti is trying to gut the team for a rebuild, but I think it’s important to sometimes retain players that fans want to see. Adams is still a talented player who is a terrifying beast in the paint. He was also the soul of the team in a way. He’s hillarious, has a humble personality, and always has a good quip in the press pool. If there’s any Thunder player past or present that you’d wanna hang out with, it’s Steven Adams. He just seems like a cool dude who happens to be seven feet tall and built like a superhero.

I’m trying really hard to not write this like a eulogy, because in his own words:

Kevin Stitt Continues to Bungle State’s Coronavirus Response

Whether you’re pro-mask or anti-mask, pro-lockdown or anti-lockdown, or pro-infect-your-parents-at-Thanksgiving or anti-infect you-parents-at-Thanksgiving, one of the few things both sides of the Oklahoma Coronamania echo chambers can agree on is that Gov. Kevin Stitt has done a terrible and puzzling job handling the pandemic.

Earlier this week, Stitt Blade took the bold step to mandate that all bars and restaurants – from the trendiest watering holes to the dingiest dives – close by 11 p.m., effectively ruining Thanksgiving holiday party plans for the tens of thousands of Oklahomans who aren’t takinging the Coronavirus seriously. He also mandated that all state employees wear masks, which bigs the question – state employees weren’t already required to wear masks? WTF, Stitt.

The move, which felt more like a poorly thought out PR stunt than an actual attempt to slow the spread of the virus, drew outrage and criticism from virtually all sides of the Coronamania echo chamber. Outside of the typical Derplahoman “Any government action to address the pandemic is tyranny!” crowd, the primary complaints were:

5 Practical Uses For Your Ice Storm Debris

Good news, my fellow metro dwellers!

This week, Oklahoma City and surrounding cities have started collecting storm debris from the Great Ice Storm of 2020. According to KFOR, the storm debris pickup started last week and is expected to last until March, which will give Patrick plenty of time for another ranking of the dead tree piles in his neighborhood.

Though city employees are working hard to clean up our streets, we may have to be patient. So, in the meantime, here’s 5 fun activities you can do with your storm debris!