Oklahoma’s Education Funding Crisis is National Satirical News

One positive thing to come from the general dysfunction in Oklahoma government is that we’ve received a huge bump in travel dollars from out-of-state journalists looking to chronicle our state’s embarrassing problems.

Whether it’s a police shooting of an unarmed black man, botched execution, deadly extreme weather, man-made earthquake epidemic, syphilis outbreaks, or how oil companies have corrupted our elected leaders, Oklahoma has become the go-to spot for reporters in search of sad profiles on American life that make you question the stability of society and foundations of democracy.

The same even goes for satirical news outlets looking for the cheap, easy material that we in Oklahoma are blessed with on an almost daily basis. Earlier this week, The Opposition with Jordan Klepper aired this semi-humorous and sad feature on the draconian cuts to our education funding:

FNITBT: Creatures & Cocktails, Affair of the Heart and Weather Fest

Every year when I turn my calendar to October a little part of me gets giddy about the thought of cooler temperatures, seeing every college freshman in Target at 10 p.m. thinking she looks cute dressed as a slutty pencil case, and the release of pumpkin spice cotton balls. OK, pumpkin spice cotton balls are not a thing, but if they do become a thing, y’all are my witnesses that I thought it up first.

Before we all flock to Target to see college girls dressed as slutty Ruth Bader Ginsburg carrying pumpkin spice burritos, here’s your Friday Night In the Big Town.

OK Sheriff lets man charged with domestic violence take silly mugshot photo…

It seems like we can’t go a week in Oklahoma without some sheriff or lawmaker being caught up in financial scandal, deviant sex crime, or good old “abuse of power” conspiracy. It’s like the two groups are in a never-ending “hold my beer” battle to see who can embarrass and disgrace their state the most.

For example, meet Brandon Trice Harmon. The classy gentleman was recently arrested in Major County on misdemeanor charges of domestic assault and battery in the presence of a minor. Since he’s apparently buddy-buddy with Major County Sheriff Steve Randolph, he was allowed to wear a silly wig and oversized glasses for the mugshot.

Via The Enid News Eagle:

Hope you don’t need any state-funded mental health services soon…

For those of you who have better things to do than stalk the twitter of a random Lost Ogle contributor and thus don’t know, in my day job I am an LPC-candidate mental health therapist. That is right, the same person who sends people to Oklahoma Hell is trusted with the psychological treatment of others. Before you learned that, you just thought the state was short on good mental health care providers. Now you know for sure. And the situation is getting worse. You can imagine how many coping skills I had to use when I read this on KOCO

Attorney General Jeff Sessions is meeting with Oklahoma Sheriffs today…

A day after being grilled in front of a US Senate judiciary committee for his lies about working with Russians, US Attorney General Jeff Sessions is coming to the red state refuge of Oklahoma today to get away from all the people in DC who hate him.

He’s also talking to our sheriffs.

Via NewsOK.com:

U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions will speak to sheriffs Thursday in Midwest City.

The Alabama Republican will deliver keynote remarks to the Oklahoma Sheriffs’ Association in a student center at Rose State College, the association announced Tuesday.

Jeff Sessions is meeting with Oklahoma sheriffs? That can’t be good. Neither of them have what you would call sterling reputations. They’re probably going to brainstorm different ways to have Russian troll farms help expand Oklahoma’s civil asset forfeiture collections.

Here’s more about the meeting: