Honorable, Generous Love’s Family Blesses OKC with Gracious $2-Million “Gift”…

Get on your knees, Oklahoma City. It’s time to worship our generous oligarchs!

Yesterday afternoon, city leaders and an eager-to-please local media gathered at the future home of Scissortail Park to announce everyone’s favorite truck stop moguls – the Love’s family – are “gifting” approximately .0002% of their net worth to fund maintenance and support stage productions at Scissor Tail Park.

Instead of linking to one of the numerous local media articles about the gift, let’s go straight to the source:

The Stage and Great Lawn at Scissortail Park, scheduled to open this fall in Oklahoma City, will be named the Love’s Travel Stops Stage and Great Lawn in recognition of a major gift from the Love Family. The $2 million gift will fund ongoing maintenance of the park and support stage productions in the future.

The six-acre Love’s Travel Stops Stage and Great Lawn is a first-class outdoor performance venue and features a prominent stage with green room and capacity for small (up to 1,500 guests), medium (up to 10,000 guests) and large (up to 15,000 guests) events, including concerts, outdoor movies, corporate events and symphonic performances.

Wait a second. If it’s a “gift” from the Love family, why do we have to name the park’s main stage after their chain of truck stops? It almost feels like they’re buying naming rights to the facilities as part of an advertising deal but framing it as a gift so they can also get the positive PR and media attention that comes with…

Hahaha. Just kidding. I’m a stereotypical Oklahoman, which means I’m very grateful that this generous family that earns more in one hour than you’ll likely earn in a lifetime generously donated a day’s worth of profits from their chain of over 470 “travel centers” to have their name plastered all over the taxpayer-funded park, giving the uninformed the impression they funded the entire thing.

Here’s a photo from the big unveil:

Organ to Or-Gone: OU to close American Organ Institute

There’s been a complete organ shutdown at OU! Surprisingly, we’re not talking about OU Medical Center, but OU the currently controversy assailed institution!

You may have heard the University of Oklahoma has announced it’s closing the American Organ Institute and shutting down the – oxymoron alert – organ technology program. In case you weren’t aware, you’re not on another adventure with Doc Brown. It’s 2019.

I mean, seriously, if I hadn’t read about this with my own eyes I would’ve sworn that someone was screwing with me.

According to Channel 4, there are six students who major in organ technology and 17 who take organ technology courses for their major in pipe organ music. Clearly, this is a massively popular field to be heading into, and I shudder at the prospect of them having to instead study the Casio keyboard.

Then again, this institution has provided some of the most prolific instrumentalists of all time. Before we write off this sacred place of knowledge, let’s acknowledge some of these heroes of the organ world…

TLO Restaurant Review: Jeff’s Country Café

Bypassing the tenderloin, the t-bone and even the flank, Oklahoma lawmakers recently made the ribeye the official steak of our constantly hungry state. In honor of this useless resolution, I decided to celebrate with, what I believe, is one of the best places in town for the coveted cut of meat, Jeff’s Country Café, 3401 N. Classen Blvd.

For only $5.50, in a state plagued with homelessness, incarceration and so many other of society’s ills that we rank fearfully high in, Jeff’s definitely makes for an affordable night in the Big Town before crawling back to your one-bedroom apartment to watch network television, allowing the pauperest herbivore among us to be meat-eating royalty, even if only for a few protein-induced moments.

Oklahoma Aquaman terrorizes Warr Acres neighborhood…

Superheroes have been in the mainstream for over a decade. While the Marvel Cinematic Universe has flourished, the DC extended universe has had a hard time finding their footing. Since Robert Pattinson was chosen to play The Dark Knight, many have questioned who would play the rest of the Justice League. Well DC, we have your Aquaman.

Via KFOR.com:

A man is accused of entering a couple’s home and leaving their water running, and the homeowners say they learned he’s allegedly done similar things for more than a decade.

Mario Williams said he was at work Friday morning when his surveillance camera alerted him there was a stranger at his front door. At the same time, his wife called hysterical, saying the man turned on their hose out front, then entered the garage.

I guess it shouldn’t be a surprise that the King of the Seven Seas would be found in our landlocked state – the damn weather gods did try to turn us into the nation’s super lake. I guess the only difference is instead of donning orange scale armor and a golden trident, this demi-god requires a makeshift headdress and garden hose.

Here’s more:

Okie Sonata: An Evening at the Asian Night Market Festival

The first time I met an Asian person—Vietnamese, to be exact—it was in 1990, when I transferred to the Classen Fifth Year Center for the last month of the school year. Having grown up in a small town in Texas for most of my then-life, the closest I ever came to that culture was on Saturday’s kung-fu movie double-features that aired on the old UHF stations. It was good afternoon entertainment but made for poor personal relations.

Now, however, many years later, my life has been continually enriched by living around and immersing myself in such a resounding atmosphere as the Asian District in Oklahoma City. It was relieving to see how many of my neighbors and other friends agreed by overflowing Military Park with support for the peoples of this district and this town by coming out for the annual Asian Night Market Festival…

Weekend News Recap

I never try to use my space here or on social media to talk about some dumb thing on Netflix that I watched, but I had to listen to all of you rave, and then eventually moan, about The Games of the Thorns for nearly this entire decade, so for once you can listen to me. I watched that new Martin Scorsese documentary about the Rolling Thunder Revue, which was Bob Dylan’s crazy and ill-advised tour in 1975/76 after his album ‘Desire.’ The doc has some amazing behind-the-scenes and interview footage, not to mention incredible performances. But most interestingly, there’s a lot of made-up bullshit, including people who are interviewed who are completely fabricated, and stories that have no basis in reality. Watch it first before you read about those aspects, but it’s almost refreshing to be reminded that so much of what you see and read is bald-faced fiction.

Speaking of which, here is last weekend’s totally real and reliable news:

Gov. Kevin Stitt launches Oklahoma Checkbook…

One of Gov. Kevin Stitt’s big promises on the campaign trail was to modernize Oklahoma government to make it more accountable and transparent. He took a big step in being able to say he at least tried to fulfill that promise by recently launching an “Oklahoma Checkbook” that documents state spending — because, you know, nothing is more modern and relatable than balancing checkbook.