KFOR files Emmy-caliber report on Oklahoma love triangle gone wrong…

One thing that sucks about the newspaper’esque decline of local TV news is that we’re getting less and less and less of those funny, sensational news stories that made local TV news actually watchable. You know, stories that involved people like Sweet Brown not having time for that, or Sir Jon Michael reminiscing about sunbathing in the nude on top of a school bus before cops swooped down on his landlord’s marijuana grow operation.

Fortunately, KFOR’s Peyton Yager is on the scene and on the story, to make sure some entertaining news still trickles down to our corner. For example, she recently filed this Jerry Springer-inspired report about a scabby biker named Tim Yost and the two women who loved him — and maybe even tried to kill him.

Check it out:

Hobby Lobby family bought stolen biblical artifacts from an Oxford professor…

Apparently it’s more difficult to acquire ancient biblical artifacts from the middle east than it is worthless junk from China.

The Green family – the holy rolling owners of Hobby Lobby – are once again in the news, after they were once again busted buying stolen shit for their massive Washington D.C. bible museum.

Via The Daily Beast:

In June The Daily Beast reported on the possibility that an illustrious award-winning professor at the University of Oxford had sold an ancient fragment of the Gospel of Mark that did not belong to him to crafting giant Hobby Lobby, Inc.

At the time of purchase the Green family, the owners of Hobby Lobby, planned to donate the fragments to Museum of the Bible, the charitable organization and D.C.-based museum they founded. Statements released today by Museum of the Bible and the Egypt Exploration Society reveal that the Mark fragment was just the beginning of the scandal. Investigations have revealed that (so far) 13 pieces in the Museum’s collection are in fact the rightful property of the Oxford-based nonprofit Egypt Exploration Society.

Stolen or not, let’s hope the Greens were smart enough to buy these antiquities while they were 50-percent off. Otherwise, they’re getting screwed!

So, tell us more about these artifacts. Were they part of the first biblical kitchen cross wall? Were there any ancient clay “Live. Laugh. Love” tablets?

Rose Tint My World: Losing My Rocky Horror Virginity at the Lyric

On the way back from a middle school band trip a very long time ago, we unexpectedly stopped at Penn Square Mall for lunch. While most kids were blowing their cash on food court eats, I instead strolled over to the long-gone Camelot Records. In their always dependable cut-out bin, that’s where, on a whim, I bought the gender-bending soundtrack to The Rocky Horror Picture Show on cassette.

Even though I had never seen the film, I obsessively wore the tape out in my Walkman knock-off, methodically memorizing every near-nude number inside and out. It wasn’t even until high school when I finally rented the flick on VHS, desperately loving it but learning to keep it a dirty secret; between the religious Oklahomans that dubbed it a “perversion” and a father that told me he’d “kill me” if I ever brought a gay person into his house, for many years I had to be a closeted Frankie fan.

Yes, throughout the years, I have never been to a film screening and, even worse, I had never been to a live stage performance. But, I figured that, in my burgeoning middle age, I was mature enough to give myself over to absolute pleasure—some twenty-five odd years after the fact—by finally attending the Lyric Theatre’s comically debaucherous production of Richard O’Brien’s The Rocky Horror Show.

Judge Balkman makes $107-million “math” error in opioid case…

Remember when Oklahoma kinda-sorta-maybe-but-not-really won their lawsuit against Johnson & Johnson back in August? I argued that the penalty the state arrived at was a slap on the wrist compared to the damage that the drug corporation had done. If you read through the comments, however, some people made it seem like I was ungrateful and the $572 million to be awarded to Oklahoma was enough money to magically make up for everything.

It turns out that I was right about the state screwing up the judgement, but for the wrong reason.

Judge Thad Balkman – the guy that may have smoked too much chronic with Snoop at his high school reunion– made a $100-million math “error” when determining damages in the case

From Tulsa World:

Oklahoma Lawmakers Are Getting A Ridiculous 35% Pay Raise…

It’s a good day to be an Oklahoma lawmaker!

In appreciation for the important role they played in turning Oklahoma into a Top 10 utopia that all other state’s strive to be, the people of our fine state have voted to give their humble and virtuous public servants and fighters of the common good – Oklahoma lawmakers – a well-deserved 35-percent pay raise.

Wait. Let me start that over.

Earlier this week, a group of cronies chosen by Oklahoma’s now buddy-buddy Legislative and Executive branches voted to give Oklahoma lawmakers an astronomical 35-percent pay raise.

Here’s how The Oklahoman explains it:

David Holt thinks OKC is still in a “Renaissance”

MAPS 4EVER is officially a go.

Earlier this week, the Oklahoma Supreme Court rejected a bid by local town contrarian Ed Shadid to shelve MAPS 4EVER on the grounds that it violated the “single-subject rule” in the Oklahoma Constitution.

Here are details via The Oklahoman:

The Oklahoma Supreme Court has rejected former Ward 2 Councilman Ed Shadid’s bid to scuttle MAPS 4.

In a 10-page ruling issued Monday, the high court said Oklahoma City’s MAPS 4 ordinance is constitutional.

The unanimous decision by Justice Douglas Combs says the ordinance “does not violate the single-subject rule found in the Oklahoma Constitution,” nor does it violate state statute or the city’s charter.

Yeah, you know that $900-million, all-or-nothing plan put together by the ruling class that includes 16 different projects of varying size, cost and scope? It all covers just one subject.

Here’s what Mayor McSelfie – a conservative who is employed by a company that greatly benefits from taxpayer-funded MAPS projects – had to say about the ruling…

TLO Restaurant Review: The Eagle’s Nest

With its collective cheese history, miniature horses and non-racist mascots, Watonga is a great small town to visit and spend a few dollars in; I threw down some of my own cash this past Friday at the metal-encased diner known as the Eagle’s Nest, 1201 Eagle Lane.

Located across from the high school, the Eagle’s Nest is an edible tribute to the Watonga Eagles, with wallpaper made from yearbook photos and framed football helmets over the tables. But, as I sat in the dining room that resembled a fabricated building, one that houses booster club flapjack fundraisers and volunteer fire department chili cook-offs, I realized the Nest is so much more than just Watonga’s version of The Max.

Tulsa PD takes down prostitution ring in “Operation Velvet Fury”

It’s a little more challenging to be a desperate john in Tulsa.

Last week, law enforcement officials announced the results of a prostitution sting called “Operation Velvet Fury.”

Via Fox 25…

TULSA, Oklahoma – Tulsa County District Attorney’s Office and the Oklahoma Attorney General’s Office announced on Friday the results of an ongoing investigation into illicit massage businesses. The joint operation, called “Operation Velvet Fury,” targeted people running what are alleged to be fronts for prostitution – and websites used by the businesses.

Tulsa Police and a task force of local and state agents started making arrests Thursday in a year-long investigation of prostitution. Their work centered on use of an online scheduling system that connected the leaders of the group with customers. Police say they have identified several hundred women involved in prostitution, and many hundreds of men who paid for their services.

First of all, there is something really awesome about this operation. While the officers are seeking to arrest those who paid for the services or actually ran the business, apparently they are not arresting the prostitutes. According to the article, because many prostitutes are victims of sex trafficking themselves, Tulsa PD is sending them to victims’ services centers rather than jail time.

However, there are two things very wrong with this operation. One, the name doesn’t really match the crime in the case, because anyone who is associating “velvet” with sexual encounters obviously hasn’t seen a porno since 1976. And two, with numbers reaching far into the hundreds, it’s astonishing how many average Oklahoma men took advantage of the sex trafficking trade.