In case you haven’t seen it, there’s a Facebook post making the rounds this week claiming that Freddy Krueger is based upon a real-life serial killer from Ponca City. It’s been shared nearly 20,000 times since Saturday.
Check it out:
The Halloween Party season officially kicks into high gear this weekend, so it’s time to share our annual list of Oklahoma Halloween costume ideas. They can help you become the darling of any Halloween party, and hopefully help you win a costume contest or three.
One of those contests takes place this Friday night at the Oklahoma City Zoo. It’s called Creatures and Cocktails. The 21 and up “Spook-tacular” includes drinks, food, games, a costume contest, a “killer” DJ, and tours of the haunted Herpetarium with all proceeds going to OKC zoo conservation efforts. Basically, it’s a good excuse to get buzzed and rowdy at the zoo and not have to worry about running into your little nephew. Details are located here.
This year, we’ve separated the costumes into three categories – individual, couples and group. Conveniently, these are the same categories for the Creatures and Cocktails costume contest that I will be co-judging. If you pick any of our ideas, do what Sir John Michael and Joleen Chaney (photo above) did in 2015 and send us a photo. We’ll make you Internet famous.
1. Shirtless Mike Gundy
This one is easy. Buy a mullet wig and a cheap OSU shirt. When it’s your turn to take the stage during the costume contest, take off the shirt and swing it over your head so your employer can promote it on social media. Bring along a “Mason Rudolph” and you can easily turn it into a couples costume.
2. Barbie Doll
This would be a fun one for any Moore grad looking to make fun of their Westmoore brethren. Simply wear dated plastic club clothes, clip on some hair extensions, and toss a Westmoore letter jacket over your shoulder. Bonus points if they’re self-made millionaires and drive an old Mustang.
3. Ho-Ho The Clown
I’d be willing to bet a bag of Smarties that Pennywise the Clown will be one of the hottest Halloween costumes of 2017. Instead of playing along with national trends and being something evil, go old school and be the least scary clown in history – Ho-Ho.
As Louis mentioned last week, every time we write something accurate and snarky about “The Pioneer Woman” Ree Drummond – a.k.a. the trust fund kid who traded out her affluent country club lifestyle to live a hard knocks mom-life on a multi-million dollar ranch owned by one of largest private land-owning families in the US – her army of mommy bloggers hop into the comments and accuse us of being angry and jealous of her success.
Truth is, we kind of are. Can you blame us? Since she beat us in the 2008 Oklahoma blog awards, Ree has grown into an even wealthier international celebrity, and we’re still here shilling blog posts and peddling trivia nights. Phonies get all the breaks!
That being said, at least we don’t have to worry about our “dark secrets” being exposed to people waiting in the Walgreens checkout line:
Yes, it’s official. Ree Drummond is finally the subject of a supermarket tabloid hit piece. If the cookbooks, Walmart kitchen items, Food Network show, and Reese Witherspoon movie treatments hasn’t proven it already, I guess Ree Drummond has finally made it to the A-list.
Unfortunately, the In Touch article is not available online, so we don’t really know what “dark secrets” Ree Drummond is hiding. I assume most of them are things we already know, like how Ree plagiarized recipes from Green Country cookbooks, hired tutors to “home school” her kids, and use sponsored giveaway gimmicks to help gain a following.
Here are some educated guess on 10 others secrets she may be hiding:
1. She stole Jesse Pinkman’s “Chili Powder” meth recipe and didn’t give him any credit.
According to the Ogle Mole Network, Ree makes a batch of artisanal “Chili Powder” methamphetamine for tweakers who live and work around her Pawhuska Mercantile. Although she also adds cumin and smoked paprika, the recipe was obviously stolen from Breaking Bad.
2. Several of her farm hands have died of dysentery.
According to Oklahoma Department of Labor reports, five farm hands on the Pioneer Woman’s ranch have died of dysentery since 2008. Additionally, two of her kids have been bitten by snakes and one visitor to the ranch drowned while trying to cross a river. I guess they couldn’t afford a ferry.
3. The Marlboro Man smokes Menthol Kools.
While by no means a scientifically proven statement, most fast food joints named after sports heroes are usually—hut, hut—pretty good. That being said, I thought Billy Sims Barbeque was pretty good.
Founded by and named after the former University of Oklahoma two-time All-American running-back and subsequent Heisman standard-bearer, since opening his first ‘que joint in Tulsa over a decade ago, Billy Sims Barbeque has since smoked a trail to over 40 locations in six states, all of them, I’m guessing, pretty good, as well.
With the slogan “Eat like a champion!” emblazoned across their menu, last Tuesday evening I grabbed the proverbial ball and hustled to their nearest location at 2224 N.W. 23rd, an address I spent numerous hours working at back when it was a Blockbuster Video. It was a semi-sweet touchdown on memory lane and, really, all that was missing were 300 “Guaranteed Rental” copies of Jerry Maguire on VHS.
Back when I worked in corporate America, I never left items in the employee break room. Call me an obsessive compulsive paranoid weirdo, but leaving opened food or drink in a dirty fridge where people I either didn’t know or didn’t like could access it always seemed a bit weird to me.
According to this article on KOCO, it looks like my behavior has been validated. Some employees at an Oklahoma clinic caught a janitor doing inappropriate things to their peanut butter:
A misdemeanor charge has been filed against a custodian caught on camera putting his genitals in a jar of peanut butter while at an Oklahoma City clinic, officials said.
Victims told investigators in mid-September of various incidents in which employees found pubic hairs in their water bottles and peanut butter jars, according to a probable cause affidavit.
Yikes! I’ve had enough late-night meals at fast food restaurants over the years to know that I have probably eaten a few things in life that I shouldn’t have, but that’s the risk you take when letting an overworked and underpaid high school dropout with mental issues make you a Mexican pizza at 2:30am. This just crosses a line that shouldn’t be crossed.