Trump is coming after our weathermen!!!

One of the great ironies of Trump’s presidency is that most of his policies do not help the lower-income, poorly educated, probably racist supporters who helped elect him president and flocked to his populist, fake news-themed rallies. In fact, Trump seems to want to economically punish his supporters. Not help them.

Knowing that, I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that Trump is now coming after one of Oklahoma’s most valuable commodities – weathermen!

Via KFOR:

Friday Night in the Big Town

What a week! A new mayor, no teacher raises (surprise, surprise) and another Oklahoma government scandal. The funny thing is, none of this came as much of a shock to most of us. Holt was going to win, everyone supports the teachers, but no one can agree on how to get them the money they deserve and Preston Doerflinger has proven himself to be an angry asshole on more than one occasion. So, with everyone being inundated with this information all week, let’s find something fun to do this weekend.

Meet the Midwest City “Cat Lady of the Month”

So it turns out I am not the most cat-obsessed person in the state after all. My therapist is going to be thrilled to hear that!  Yesterday a Midwest City woman was discovered housing over 50 cats!

Via KOCO…

MIDWEST CITY, Okla. —The Central Oklahoma Humane Society faced a big task Wednesday night, looking for homes for 52 cats found living in a Midwest City home.

A picture from Animal Welfare in Midwest City shows dozens of crates across the front lawn of a home near Reno and Douglas avenues.

The woman who kept the cats didn’t want to talk on camera but said she’s rescued a number of furry felines over the last few years. The cats were either abandoned or left out in the cold.

Unfortunately, the cats themselves declined to comment and the name of the woman was never revealed in the article. However, if you have more than 50 cats living in your home, there is an 87% chance that your name is Debra or Cathy. So let’s go with Cathy.

More from Cathy…

Porn Star Nicknames for Oklahoma Lawmakers

The state of Oklahoma is getting so repeatedly schtupped by our brazen lawmakers that they might as well turn on a video camera, record it and sell it down at DW’s in Texas for drifters, lonely truckers and other people who haven’t heard of the Internet.

To help our lawmakers get started on this endeavor, Patrick and I came up with a list of possible porn star stage names for Oklahoma lawmakers. At the very least, Oklahoma students and teachers will know how to address letters as they continue to take a pounding in the classroom:

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Real Name: Charles McCall

Porn Star Name: Chucky McBalls

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Real Name: Jason Dunnington

Porn Star Name: Jack Bearington

OK Lawmakers still hard at work addressing issues that don’t matter

Out of all of Oklahoma’s problems, dealing with the threat of non-citizens casting votes in Oklahoma elections seems like it would be pretty low on the list, somewhere between establishing truck nut tax subsidies and noodling safety regulations. Nevertheless, some Oklahoma lawmakers are hard at work protecting us from issues that don’t matter.

Via OKC Talk’s news partner, KFOR:

Lawmakers in the House are considering a bill which would verify how many registered voters are legal citizens.

House Bill 3341, authored by Rep. Sean Roberts, R-Hominy, would allow the Secretary of the State Election Board to compare state and federal databases for the purposes of seeing whether there are non-citizens registered as voters…

Under the bill, voters who are not citizens would not be prohibited from voting, but they would be turned over to the district attorney’s office for their county.

When the bill was initially drafted, it required anyone registering to vote or showing up to polls to bring documents proving their legal status; however, it was amended.

“We worked with the Election Board to prevent any lawsuits,” Roberts told News 4. “Other states have done similar things where they require citizenship up front, and we’re just trying to avoid all that.”

Wow. That’s awesome! Screw the fact that teachers can’t get a raise, prisons are overflowing, or that our state is being run into the ground by religious zealots, racists and corporate oil cartels – we need to take care of those pesky not-citizens who register to vote! They’re the real problem!

That being said, before we tackle this very important issue, maybe we should first make sure that our voting machines work and local precincts have the correct ballots:

Via Tulsa’s KTUL: