Maybe it’s the because the holiday season is inextricably bound to traditions, tales and obligations I find comedic—or maybe it’s because Lucas already briefed us on the metro music scene this month—but, this weekend, I’m vibing with funny. Wry. Ironic. Offensive. I’ll take it in all its glorious forms.
Just in case life in Oklahoma City doesn’t grind to a snowy stop on Friday evening, TLO Weekend Radar has you covered with some ideas for what to do, should you decide to separate from the sofa.
On Wednesday morning, Lucas caused a local ruckus when he almost too accurately described the Five Stages of Oklahoma Winter Weather Panic that accompany our often underwhelming, and usually overhyped, winter weather events.
To accompany the article, we used some recent tweets from Marla Morgan’s husband – local weather hype man Mike Morgan – as examples of the various stages. He seemed like a good choice. He was one of the first local weather prognosticators who kicked Stage 1 of this current Winter Weather Panic into effect on Monday night. It caught my attention at the time.
Let the hype and panic begin. Might as well start shutting down the city. https://t.co/OhTkkfRPn1
— The Lost Ogle (@TheLostOgle) December 4, 2018
Mike responded to my tweet like a desperate bride in search of a wedding DJ. He invited me to call into the Kliff Davis Radio Show. Seriously….
Well, that took long enough.
Back in April of 2012, we momentarily blew up the national sports blogosphere when we revealed that Oklahoma City’s own Skip Bayless – the notorious, loud-mouthed, universally loathed sports debating troll for then ESPN and now Fox Sports One – grossly overstated and embellished his high school sports accomplishments on Twitter.
You probably remember the story. Skip was tweeting one night about Russell Westbrook not being a true point guard, and how OKC would be better off letting Harden run the offense:
Oklahoma winters are, to me at least, always so post-apocalyptic. It doesn’t help matters that, around this time, the local news channels begin their yearly holiday of frightening the populace with the latest in ratings-grabbing theories of a fully winterized Armageddon of sorts.
Fearing a sudden sheet of permafrost descending upon me very soon, I preeminently made a trip to Brigadoon, 1805 S. Sunnylane Rd. in Del City. Advertised as the last “genuine” military surplus store left not only in town but in Oklahoma, it was a good time and a great place to get a jump on avoiding this year’s ultimately frigid death by using and abusing the best of the best of military trash and treasures.
A budget-minded survivalist’s wet dream—well, I guess more frozen than wet—Brigadoon is really the only place that those of us who dwell in the shacks, lean-tos and shanties that are sprinkled throughout Oklahoma City can go to find the gear needed to survive another winter in this Okie Hell; from thermal blankets to formal rations, the goods at Brigadoon can really take the edge off as you breathe your last few visible breaths, all for just a couple of American greenbacks.
Now, whatever philosophical disagreements I may have with the owners or customers—per the vehemently pro-Trump discussion overheard as I was scouring the aisles—they are immediately put to the wayside because in this one moment, right or flight aside, we are all bonded in one common goal: to make it out mostly unscathed to a far more first-worldian season of a virgin mother’s vernal warmth in a couple of months.
Trump, schrump…pass the Hot-Hands…
Back in November, we reaffirmed our status as the premier source for Oklahoma porn star news when we reported that adult film star Jesse Jane – star of romantic thrillers such as Diary of a Perv, Hot Rod for Sinners and Cuckold Creampie 7 – was arrested in Norman on public intoxication charges following Bedlam.
Our report was pretty tame by TLO standards, but it ruffled the feathers of Jesse’s companion that night – Taylor Clark. She was the person who went to the game with Jesse and, afterwards, apparently left her alone and intoxicated on the streets of Norman. After our article dropped, she left this comment on our FB page. It has since been deleted:
Who cares that the Cleveland County jail doesn’t perform toxicology reports, or that it’s very common for people to be released without seeing a judge for a public intoxication arrest. I’m excited that we’re now receiving media ethics advice from Oklahoma City Community College students! As an esteemed member of the college’s Alumni Hall of Fame, that warms my heart more than Jesse Jane’s filmography.
A couple weeks after our hard-hitting report, KFOR News channel 4 – a click-starved media outlet that’s joined us in the bottom of the barrel – followed up with a report of their own. It included additional information that would make any community college student proud, including police body cam footage of Jesse’s arrest…
