Friday Night in the Big Town: Crunk Natives, Memorial Runners and Dangerous Recyclables

“And the meek shall inherit the Friday Night in the Big Town…”

 As someone who is currently without transportation, most of my Friday nights are spent sitting in the dark, listening to Décima Víctima bootlegs while snorting BC Back Powder, debating whether or not to call up my Mexican ex-girlfriend and tell her how much I miss her even though I know she’s probably out dancing at Groovies with men I could, in no possible way, compete with. So it’s pretty ironic I was asked to fill in for the retiring Adam Holt and his beloved Friday Night in the Big Town column until TLO is able to hire someone much thinner and cooler.

That being said, there’s still plenty going on throughout the city that, if I could, I would wholeheartedly support. For example, I’d really like to see the new film How to Be a Latin Lover this weekend, but am absolutely afraid of running into my Mexican ex-girlfriend and new boyfriend that I couldn’t possibly compete with at the theater, especially while sitting there all alone, my current movie-going partner a collectible plastic cup wherein I can get discounted refills. So I guess I’ll have to wait until the DVD.

Either way, here’s a few things that I would like to do this weekend and, who knows, might make it to one or two or all three of them depending on circumstances such as a crippling depression that is manifesting itself as physical pain as though I were a character in a David Cronenberg film. So this weekend, while you are out in the Vitamin D, enjoying all that this city has to offer, here’s a few fun events to add to the itinerary where we might see each other from across the room, give a furtive “Sup?” and move on about our business.

Here’s that Friday Night in the Big Town you kids love so much…

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Mike Bone at the Festival of the Arts OKC

Tulsa wants a brand new flag…

Before we get to this post, I should clarify that I take a George Carlin approach when it comes to flags, ribbons, and cross pendants from James Avery. They’re symbols, and I leave symbols to the symbol-minded (a.k.a religious freaks, patriots, simpletons, etc.). They’re not my thing. Well, unless we’re talking sports. Then it doesn’t count.

With that out-of-the-way, let’s mock and ridicule Tulsa for launching a big competition to create a new city flag.

Via The Frontier:

Having presented the three finalists for Tulsa’s new flag design to the city council on Wednesday, it’s now up to the public to vote on a winner.

The three finalists were selected from more than 300 submissions that came in during a public process that started in late 2016. Last fall, the group seeking to redesign the flag asked for public input as to what themes designers should seek to illustrate. A variety of ideas were submitted, but the group settled on some specific themes to pitch to designers.

“Each design has been carefully thought out, taking into consideration events and landmarks that have shaped Tulsa into what it is today, such as the Arkansas River, the Council Oak Tree, discovery of oil, Art Deco architecture, the Tulsa race riot, Native American heritage and Black Wall Street,” stated a media release announcing the finalists. “Each flag also has a unique element that ties the importance community back into the design.

That’s sweet and everything, but I guess I’ll ask the question everyone is thinking – what the fuck does Tulsa need a new flag for? Isn’t the old one nobody knows about good enough? Do they plan on invading Broken Arrow and flying the new flag high over the captured suburb’s town hall or something?

Here’s the answer:

Another Oklahoma lawmaker has resigned…

Say what you want about Oklahoma lawmakers, but they sure are good at resigning in disgrace.

Earlier today, Kyle Loveless abruptly resigned from his seat in the Oklahoma Senate. As opposed to sexting a legislative aide, stealing from his employer, or meeting with a 17-year-old male prostitute in a motel room, his resignation appears to be related to media reports that he’s being investigated by the Oklahoma DA for campaign abuse and fraud.

That’s nice. It’s about time we had an old-fashioned Oklahoma political scandal involving misuse of campaign funds! It’s been way too long. I was getting tired of writing about all the kinky sexually deviant stuff.

Here is Loveless’ resignation letter. Much like his future in politics, it’s very brief and to the point:

5 Oklahoma Businesses That Could Use “Undercover Boss”

Tomorrow night, the hit CBS series Undercover Boss takes on beloved regional Tex-Mex chain Taco Bueno, an Okie favorite if only for the Mexi-Dips and Chips. While we won’t know which store CEO Michael Roper went undercover as an employee at until showtime, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t the one on N.W. 23rd and Penn, which remains as janky as ever. I mean, let’s be honest: what’s the point of having a salsa bar if you’re never gonna refill it?

Thinking about that salsa bar, however, got me to thinking about what other businesses could use the Undercover Boss treatment. What other fast food joints or local businesses that seem to have let the inmates run the asylum could do with a costumed visit from a disguised head honcho? And, more importantly, how would I fix them, if I were in charge? Here’s five places around town that could use a ship-up or shape-out from the Undercover Boss

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Braum’s Ice Cream and Dairy Stores

Ten Years of TLO: The Stories We Broke

One thing that surprises a lot of people is just how little thought went into the start of TLO. Once we got the idea, we poured our hearts and souls into it and it consumed our every waking moment (and, for one of us, that continues to this day), but the blog from the beginning was started by three guys who had never met that just liked writing about Oklahoma and who said “Let’s start a blog about Oklahoma!”

The fun part about this ten-year retrospective project for me has been going back and reading old emails from when we were conceiving of the site. We were three people who didn’t know each other, trying to work together to create something people might enjoy. We didn’t know each other’s personalities or views on politics or views on the world or even our favorite weatherman. It was a strange dynamic.

In that context, on May 19th, 2007 — less than a week after TLO debuted — an email arrived in my inbox titled “Uh.” It was an oddly personal note from Patrick informing me that he was getting divorced and may take a few weeks off, but that he’d be back and really liked the direction that site was going. I guess the subject line was appropriate.

Basically, TLO was a bit of a rocky start for our man Patrick. I wasn’t much better off: Patrick found me because I had started my own personal blog as a reaction to the breakup of a long-term relationship, a sketchy job situation, and a bout of soul-sucking, debilitating depression. Ironically, even though his online persona was that of a Charlie Brown-like sadsack, it was Clark Matthews who was the happy one with a great wife and a newborn son.

Given the circumstances of TLO’s beginnings, it’s kind of a miracle it ever got off the ground and didn’t become just another one of the dead blogs littering the Internet. But it did! And even though none of us are journalists, and we certainly don’t even think of ourselves as legitimate journalists, we’re even able to break news stories before the actual professionals thanks to our great readers and members of the Ogle Mole Network.

On that note, I thought today that it would be fun to look back at some of the more popular and memorable news stories we broke over the years. Check them out:

 

Is This The Oklahoma City Thunder Logo?

In 2008, we leaked the Thunder’s awful logo design a week before its official unveiling. It was so bad we weren’t sure if it was legit or not.

Jessica Alba Vandalized Downtown Oklahoma City. Seriously.

When we started the site, I don’t think any of us anticipated “catch a famous actress plastering sharks all over Bricktown” was high up on our list of things we expected to do. But here we are.