Ranking just behind Dean Blevins’ on-air urination and The Morning Animal’s decision to rip-off the Jim Traber Drinking Game, the third-best radio moment in the history of the Sports Animal took place a few weeks ago when Jim Traber and Mark Rodgers got into a heated argument regarding (of all things) the job security of a college baseball coach.
Since their heated on-air spat, where they called each other (gasp!) “jokes,” apparently Jim and Mark have decided not to like each other. In fact, they’ve decided not to like each other so much that they now refuse to appear on-air together. Hell, our fictitious Sport Animal sources have even told us that relations between the two are so bad that Traber now refers to Mark as “a sissy joke of yardbird” and that Mark has added Mike Koehler, James Hale and Roger Clemens to his Top 8 on MySpace.
Anyway, because we value the long, boring friendship that Traber and Rodgers appeared to have before their “fight,” we sent our friend Cardboard Jim to interview Mark Rodgers and find out if the pair had worked things out. Check it out after the jump.
Cardboard Jim: Why are you not appearing on-air with my friend Regular Jim. Are you playing the Regular Jim Traber Drinking game instead?
Mark Rodgers: I’m refusing to appear on air with either Traber or Humphreys until they clear up their health issues. My liver has a hard enough time handling the rigorous workout I give it, much less upping the ante by drinking every time I hear the word “yardbird.” As for my intestines and colon, I like them intact. The water I drink at the radio station comes from home.
CJ: For fun, can you tell us how Mark Rodgers would break in a baseball mitt???
MR: My mitt would be rubbed in oil by Carmen Electra then run over by a Zamboni driven by Eva Mendes. If it wasn’t soft enough, I would have it kick-boxed by Kealy McEntyre.
CJ: I have a bunch of Homeboys back East. Do you have any Homeboys in Blackwell?
MR: I have a lot of homeboys still in Blackwell. My 20th reunion is coming up in September. Traber’s homeboys have mob connections and know a lot about the Steelers. My homeboys are proficient in stealing and watch mob movies, while playing the Jim Traber drinking game.
CJ: I could beat Stacy Dales-Schuman and Courtney Paris and Alex Spaulding in Basketball at the same time left handed with a baseball bat while backing up Eddie Murray, but you struggled to beat Toby Rowland in a pick-up game. What gives?
MR: It was a bad day and I was coming off an extended hospital stay or a long night of adult beverages, I can’t remember which. Toby doesn’t drink. Next year, I’ll go to bed early the night before the game and kick Toby’s ass.
CJ: Who’s your favorite Sports Animal caller. For the record, I like Brian Tallet’s Dad and Jiggin’ Joggin’ Jim. Your choices are:
A: Lumber Lady
B: Running Girl
D: Paul White
MR: I’m going with a write-in candidate; Mike from Chickasha. I’m not sure if it’s good publicity or bad when he calls to ask when my magazine is going to be published. At least I have somewhere to turn if I alienate more friends.
CJ: Aaron Tuttle and Brent Skarky. Any truth to the rumors?
MR: Not judging by the pictures posted of Aaron Tuttle on the website. He didn’t wear that Superman outfit for nothing and I don’t think Skarky is into redheads. So I’m going to say no to that one Cardboard Jim.
CJ: You’ve gone from hosting a recruiting show with Dan Lutz to sharing the stage with Maggie Carlo and Jessica Schambach. How’s the ego working out?
MR: Jessica and Maggie are talented journalists. They even like the Lost Ogle guys! Dan was beautiful in his own way. I’ll never forget reading a sports report about the governor of Chihuahua and several dignitaries coming to Norman to see Eduardo Najera play. I looked at Dan and saw him reach for his Mike and I knew what was coming. (Not that I condoned it). Several days of protests later, he learned not to mess with Mexico.
CJ: And who the hell is this Sophia Reza? She’s Big Leagues. Where’d she come from. I’ll bet you a pizza that she’ll own a video screen rental company some day.
MR: Sophia comes from Texas. She is another talented journalist. Sophia is not interested in a career in video retail, but her favorite movie is The Notebook. (Which I would not take her to see)
CJ: Chris Callahan said in his exit interview that you mentioned Dean Blevins likes his coffee “with tits.” Is that true? What about Kevin Sims?
MR: Kevin Sims likes his coffee hot.
CJ: You ranked number 3 on The Lost Ogle’s rankings of the 12 hottest men in the OKC media. How will you pass Big Al and Lord Gary?
MR: I’m not sure if I can pass Gary and Al, both accomplished and talented. I’m looking for a hat and a wonder pig.
CJ: When will the new magazine come out?
CJ: We all want to know. Where did the hell did the “d” in Rodgers come from anyway
MR: Dynamo or Delicious.