Jessica Alba Vandalized Downtown Oklahoma City. Seriously.

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Update 1:  Is Jessica Alba Really Sorry?

Update 2: Is this “White Mike,” the great white shark activist who vandalized OKC with Jessica?

I’ve written a bunch of crazy things during the brief history of The Lost Ogle.  Nothing, though, can probably match the truthful absurdity of the following sentence:

Last week, Jessica Alba plastered posters of a great white shark  across different spots in Downtown Oklahoma City.

Yes, let me write that again.

Last week, Jessica Alba plastered posters of a great white shark  across different spots in Downtown Oklahoma City.  These locations included Stage Center and a railroad overpass near Bricktown.  And she did it all to bring awareness to the dwindling great white shark population.  From the shark conservation blog White Mike:

Who says they don’t know how to swim in Oklahoma? I beg to differ. I met quite a few people that are passionate about sharks while on my visit. I stumbled into a Hollywood transplant working out there who has a fear yet a passion for sharks which they discovered and faced while filming Into the Blue. No, it’s not that guy from Fast and the Furious. It’s a she. And it’s Jessica Alba.

Yeah, I’m not too sure what to think about this.  On one hand, I guess it’s pretty cool that a hot Hollywood A-lister flew an animal rights activist to Oklahoma City to help her make an artistic political statement.  On the other hand, what does this say about our city when a Hollywood A-lister has to fly an animal rights activist to town just for a little entertainment?  I know we’re not L.A. or New York, but is Oklahoma City really that boring?  I mean we do have a canal and a cowboy hall of a fame and firefighters museum and…well…nevermind.

Anyway, instead of posterizing our downtown, Jessica should just hang out with local shark enthusiasts. For example, I am a long time supporter of international efforts to protect our global great white shark population.  In fact, I love great white sharks so much that I have posters of them plastered to my garage, I take off from work to watch Shark Week on the Discovery Channel, and I have been nicknamed “Jaws” and “Hammerhead” by my best friends.

Also, I’ve been known to occasionally swim with these oceanic predators…without a cage.  I’ve done this because I’m incredibly brave, strong, and handsome, plus the sharks and I have a peaceful friendship.  If Jessica Alba would like to go to the beach with me sometime to look for these beasts of the ocean “” or perhaps just talk about it over some coffee or several adult beverages “” she can contact me immediatly at okcpatrick at gmail.com.  As an added bonus, we can even talk about The Lost Ogle’s recent push to get her named as an honorary Oklahoman.