Halloween is just around the corner. That means it’s time for our annual list of Oklahoma’ish Halloween Costume Ideas. The first one is below, the rest are after the jump.
1. Mid-1990’s Mike and Marla Morgan
This would be a fun couples costume. The guy just wears a rented tuxedo, while the girl who is Marla wears a cropped turtleneck sweater and a metallic sarong tied with the world’s largest bow. If she wishes, the girl can also take a couple of pine cones, paint them gold, and then wear them upside down as earrings.
2. Devon Tower Base Jumpers
For this, all you need to do is wear an old X-Games shirt along with a pair of old jeans, goggles and a Yamaha racing jacket. If you go to a party, just drink a bunch of Red Bull and Vodkas and say words like “stoked” and “killer.” Also, be sure to ask people if they “Do the Dew.”
Reference: These guys probably drink Mountain Dew…
3. Rush Springs Watermelon
This is a cool costume, but would only be worth doing if you can find a couple of hot girls to carry you around all night. Plus, if you wear this costume there’s a chance that State Rep. Joe Dorman will hit on you all night long.
p.s. – I considered putting “a filthy bale of hay in the back of a pick-up” as a costume idea, but that would be sick and perverted.
Reference: Joleen Chaney can’t be stopped…
4. Bad Russell Westbrook
Some people like to dress up as something scary for Halloween, and as a Thunder fan, I can’t think of anything scarier than Bad Russell Westbrook. Okay, that’s kind of a lie. Cancer, violent crime, pit bulls and seeing Jim Traber in the YMCA locker room are all scarier, but none of them would make a good Halloween costume.
Anyway, you know about the Bad Russell Westbrook. He’s the fiery little guy who took all those forced threes and out-of-control lay-ups during the Thunder’s magical playoff run. He also got benched against the Mavericks. To be him for Halloween, just wear a Regular Russell Westbrook jersey and carry around a basketball. If any of your friends ask to hold the ball, simply refuse. It doesn’t even matter if your best friend is one of the greatest basketball scorers on the planet, no one else should touch that ball but you. When you finally get tired of holding the ball, set it down and order a bunch of a wild shots at the bar.
5. Tammy Banovac
No lie, this would a great costume if you’re one of those hot girls who likes to dress slutty for Halloween. I guarantee that you’ll win any costume contest, and as a bonus, you get to ride around in a wheel chair all night. That would be fun for a while.
6. Christina Fallin and Matt Bacon
This one’s easy. Just try too hard.
7. Rex Ryan
Last week, someone sent us an email asking why we never write about or mention New York Jets head coach Rex Ryan. It’s a good question. He was born in Oklahoma, attended Southwestern Oklahoma State in Weatherford and was the defensive coordinator at OU during John Blake’s last season. Plus, he even has a foot fetish!
Anyway, I’m not sure why we never really mentioned or acknowledged one of the most notable coaches in the NFL. To make it up for it, dress up like him for Halloween. It should be pretty easy. Wear a Jet’s shirt, put pillow under it, and bam, you’re good to go. For added effect, lick or rub a random girls foot here and there.
8. Skunk Fuck Eliminator
I’m still not sure what the Skunk Fuck Eliminator actually is, but it sounds fun. Actually, I sounds disgusting.
9. Wayne Payne Exit Sign
What I like about this costume is that it works for both individuals and couples. If you want to be the Wayne Payne Exit Sign by yourself, just wear a green shirt and iron Wayne Payne in white letters to the front of your shirt. If it’s part of a couples costume, each of you wear a green shirt, but one person goes as Wayne the other as Payne. That’s easy enough.
10. Sam Bradford Statue Artist
For this costume, just make sure you wear sunglasses and use a white cane or service dog to guide you.
Anyway, that is this years list of costumes. If you have any suggestions, leave a comment. Also, if you actually use or see any of these ideas, please please please send us a picture.