Frosted Fetuses!!! They’re Grrrreat!

The guy pictured above is named Ralph Shortey. No, he’s not the manager at Cracker Barrel. He’s a wacko Republican State Senator from south Oklahoma City.

This past Friday, Shortey filed Senate Bill 1418 which would prohibit the manufacture or sale in Oklahoma of food or products which use aborted human fetuses. Yes, you read that correctly, he filed Senate Bill 1418 which would prohibit the manufacture or sale in Oklahoma of food or products which use aborted human fetuses.

So yeah, if you’re one of those people who sprinkle stem cell bits on your baked potato and/or garden salad, you’re in big trouble. Here’s the bill:

Wait, that’s the ending of Soylent Green. Here’s the bill:

I’ll be honest with you, I think this law is a pretty good idea. I, like most Oklahomans, think dining on aborted fetuses is a stupid thing to do. They are nothing but over-processed trash and have no nutritional value. If you’re going to eat a fetus, do it the right way and chose a fresh, non-aborted fetus like the ones they sell at the new Whole Foods. Those things are tasty!

Seriously, what’s going on here? Banning aborted fetuses in food and other products??? Works for me, Mr. Shortey! While you’re at it, why don’t you author a bill that bans the breeding of dragons, the hunting and trapping of Sasquatch, and lawmakers wasting our time with bizarre legislation? I think we’d all support that last one.

p.s. – Don’t you think Shortey kind of looks like they type of guy who would eat an aborted fetus or seven? I sure do.

h/t The Daily O’Collegian