Here’s a fun fact! Did you know that in addition to being a Level 8 checkers prodigy and Asian erotica collector that Clark Matthews is also an expert tambourine soloist? Well, he is. That’s why our TLO house band — Powerlines Down — features a tambourine solo by Clark Matthews in every song. It’s also probably why no one ever comes to see us play Roadrunner Club on Acoustic Wednesdays.
I bring all that up because Marisa, our harpsichordist, asked a few weeks ago what we’d ever do if Clark Matthews got injured or left the band. I threw out a couple of options. One of them was to hire the guy from Brain Jonestown Massacre. The other was to scrap the tambourine and become a successful band. Neither one of those ideas seemed like a good alternative at the time, but now it looks like we’ve stumbled across Clark Matthews’ potential replacement. Her name is Vickey Sue Beyersdorfer (pictured above). She really likes the tambourine.
Most churches encourage praise and worship. In fact, the Bible states, “make a joyful noise to the Lord.”
But 50-year-old Vickey Sue Beyersdorfer apparently went a bit too far.
Oklahoma County Sheriff’s Department Spokesman Mark Myers said, “Nobody could pay attention to the sermon or what was going on so that’s when our deputy was able to take care of the situation.”
The religious ruckus happened at Victory Church at 1515 N. Kelly Ave in Edmond.
A woman was apparently playing a tambourine too loudly during Wednesday night services.
When she refused to stop, the woman was escorted out by an off duty Oklahoma County Sheriff’s Deputy.
Myers said, “He had to physically escort her outside the church. Once outside, she broke free from the deputy and tried to go back inside, there became a physical confrontation.”
According to the arrest report, the deputy was forced to pepper spray and tase the unruly woman.
Myers said, “She was not filled with the Holy spirit. She was not being very Christianly and this is why the folks decided to get her out as soon as possible.”
Witnesses said the combative Christian was staggering and had slurred speech.
Authorities did find prescription pain medication in her possession.
Authorities have not said if that medication was found in her system or if that may have contributed to the incident.
As Roger the Shrubber said, “Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can taze and pepper spray crazy ladies at church just for playing the tambourine too loudly.” Okay, Roger the Shrubber didn’t say that, but it would have been funny if he did.
It also would have been funny to be at the church when this jingle-jangle evening happened. I get a kick out of watching people do weird spiritual things at church. It’s about the only thing that keeps church entertaining. Well, that and the baptism dunk tank. My all-time favorite weird church person was some lady at Crossings. Yes, I’ve been to church at Crossings. She would attend every service and stand and sway her arms and point at the sky during the songs like she was at Phish concert. I wish they would have given her a tambourine. That would have been cool.
Anyway, we wish Ms. Beyersdorfer the best of luck as she finds a new church that will be more accepting of her hidden tambourine talents and possible narcotics addiction. I’d suggest she try out the Unitarian church downtown or that liberal Mayflower Church. Outside of Sally Kern, they’ll accept anyone.