Yesterday, Gary England celebrated his 40-year anniversary at Channel 9. Think about that for a second. When Gary started keeping people advised and telling them to take tornado per’cautions, Richard Nixon was president, gasoline cost 55-cents a gallon and Oklahoma was ran by racist Democrats. Yeah, a lot has changed in 40-years.
Anyway, Channel 9 went all out to honor Lord England yesterday. They aired several tribute videos, a blooper reel and everyone ate cake in the break room. At the end of it all, Channel 9 announced that our Severe Weather Savior had signed a new contract. That probably explains why all the church bells rang and tornado sirens went off around 10:10pm.
After all the fan fair and pageantry, it was time for Gary to do what Zuess, God and the Griffin family had chosen him to do: Give the weather forecast. When he did, this happened:
Yes, Amanda. Those are crayons. Because he made it when he was five. Get it?
Anyway, we’d like to thank Gary England for being our Severe Weather Savior and protecting us from tornadoes, thunder, downed-powerlines and golf ball sized hail. We’d also like to thank him for not filing a restraining order after our Gary England Day pilgrimage. For He will keep us advised. He will keep us advised. He will keep us advised…