Nike is releasing Doppler Radar Weatherman Shoes…

damon lane weather dong

This is so absurd that I thought it was a joke. It’s not.

Thanks to Kevin Durant proclaiming in a recent SI article that he’d like to be a weatherman, Nike is launching a line of Doppler radar inspired shoes called the “Weatherman Pack.” These are even more over-the-top than the KD inspired weather shoes from a few years ago. The sneakers will feature more realistic looking Doppler radar imagery and patterns.

And no, I’m not making this up.

From Nice Kicks:

Pack your umbrella and purchase your tent, the Nike “Weatherman” Pack now has an official release date. Look for the Nike Air Foamposite One “Weatherman” and the Nike Air Force 1 Low of the same theme to launch on August 30th at select Nike accounts, followed by the Nike Air Foamposite One “Thermal Map” to release after on September 28th. Are any of these “Weatherman” releases on your radar? Let us know in the comment section.

Let’s take a look at the new kicks:

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You know you’re an Oklahoman when you see Doppler radar inspired shoes for the first time and then immediately try to spot a hook echo… and actually find one. Take a look underneath the curve of the Nike swoosh in the third shoe. That has to be maxi-wedge grinder debarker, right? If you live anywhere near the talus, take your tornado precautions.

Seriously, those may be the ugliest shoes I’ve ever seen. The only people who should be allowed to wear them are Kevin Durant, Mike Morgan and the kid at school that wants his lunch money stolen.

Okay, I guess they’re not that bad. They’re weird and different, so I bet the hipsters will like them. Plus, you could sport a new pair around town and not have to worry about gang member shooting you for them.

Anyway, you have to wonder what’s next. Is this a fad that will (hopefully) die soon, or are weather patterns the fashion trend for 2014? If it is, I think we should launch a line of TLO clothing that features nothing but colorful weather radar patterns. It would be like the hipster camouflage. The kids in the Plaza District will eat those things up.