Former OU Cheerleader busted in prostitution sting…

Congratulations OSU football fans! You’re going to have a plethora of new jokes to post on message boards for the next couple of years.

According to a Facebook post by our pal the Video Vigilante, we have learned that Micah Parker – a former University of Oklahoma cheerleader – was busted in a recent prostitution sting in Oklahoma City. We’re still trying to figure out which Oklahoma lawmaker she was planning to meet.

Here are the vague details from the Video Vigilante’s Facebook page.

Former University of Oklahoma cheerleader (and daughter of OU cheer coach and disbarred local lawyer), Micah Parker, busted overnight in prostitution sting…

Micah Parker is currently on probation for a 2015 guilty plea to DUI and driving under suspension. A marijuana charge was dismissed as part of her plea.

When arrested, Parker had an active warrant from May of 2016 regarding a revocation of her probation for repeated violations.

I’m gathering more information and will be posting an article shortly.

For some reason, Master Bates still hasn’t reported the info on John TV. However, he did post this probable cause affidavit the following day on Facebook.

(UPDATE: We’ve learned that this former OU football player is allegedly Parker’s pimp.)

Check it out:

Before we continue, I want to clarify one thing. Although it’s not my cup of tea, I think prostitution should be legalized, taxed and regulated for consenting adults. As long as it’s your decision, you should totally have the right to sell your body for sex. That being said, I also think others should have the right to judge you for entering that craft. Fair trade, right?

Anyway, I can already hear the angry internet commenter who’s probably an OU fan hammering away at his keyboard typing in all caps “WHY ARE YOU EVEN REPORTING THIS. IT’S NOT NEWS!” For them, I have to say this:

1. Remember, we’re an online tabloid now. It’s our duty to report this type of stuff.

2. You have to admit “Former OU Cheerleader busted in prostitution sting” is a juicy, interest-grabbing headline. That’s a page view magnet, and as a media outlet, we love page views more than Jude and Jody loves folks!

On that note, I wonder why no other local media outlet has run with this story? They’re like sharks when it comes to this stuff. They can smell prostitution sting ratings from hundreds of miles away.

Seriously, whether it’s a high-end Edmond brothel or a woman on South Robinson looking to trade a blow job for a bag of Doritos, there’s nothing the local media loves more than gobbling up easy page views by covering local prostitution stings. For example, I found all these stories through a quick search on NewsOK.com:

17 arrested in prostitution sting in southwest Oklahoma City

Midwest City police arrest four in online prostitution sting

Prostitution stings continue in Oklahoma City; vice unit arrests 11

OKC lieutenant faces charges in prostitution case

KFOR likes to report prostitution stuff, too. It doesn’t even have to be sting. It can be an isolated case…

So, why hasn’t the media run with this? The conspiracy theorist in me tells me they’re not reporting it because it will piss off the University of Oklahoma, an organization that spends (probably) millions in local advertising. My inner logical theorist tells me the same thing, so that’s probably the case. However, sometimes the mainstream media will cave after an online tabloid reports it, so maybe the story is now fair game. I guess we’ll have to wait and watch.

Update: That was fast. It only took KOKH Fox 25 an hour or so…