Emerald Stanley apologizes for wearing Native American costume to Mrs. America pageant…

We’d like to give a big TLO congrats to Emerald Stanley! Remember her? She’s the serial pageant contestant who’s married to Rob Stanley, and occasionally appears in festive Christmas commercials telling us about the evils of big government while her family dicks over consumers.

A week or two ago, Emerald participated in the Mrs. America pageant in Las Vegas. It’s the second year in a row she’s competed. Although she didn’t win, she took home the prize of “Favorite Costume.”

Check it out:

That’s awesome! I had no clue that the Caddo Nation was the first Native American tribe to incorporate rhinestone, sequins and push up bras into traditional attire?! I also didn’t know they celebrated Festivus. I guess you learn something new every day.

The award was such a big deal that the Mrs. Oklahoma pageant is now offering discounts on next year’s entry fee:

Wait a second? $200 off? Exactly how much does it cost to enter one of these pageants, and can the pageant use the money to hire a qualified copywriter and graphic designer? Whatever the amount, that’s great news for all you married ladies out there who have low self-esteem. Sign up today!

Because we live in a world filled with angry fun haters who for some reason don’t like to see their culture appropriated and exploited by an affluent housewife on a Las Vegas stage, angry mobs from the shame police voiced displeasure about Emerald’s costume choice. I guess they didn’t know that “Cultural Appropriation” is part of the Mrs. America judging criteria.

For example:

As a result, Emerald and the Mrs. Oklahoma pageant issued the following well-written apology:

Jesus Christ. These beauty pageant people are even dumber than they appear on television.

First of all, how can you not be aware that prancing around in a skimpy Native American headdress costume is going to offend people in today’s age? Was the second costume option black face? It’s 2017! Getting mad about things on the Internet is our new national pastime. You should be apologizing for your ignorance.

Second, they destroyed the costume? That seems extreme. Good luck getting your deposit back from Masquerade on that one! At least sell it to Hipster Boo Boo so she’ll have something to wear to next year’s Coachella. She loves beautiful things.

Anyway, if you want to see an example of how a beauty pageant contestant can honor her Native American culture with respect and dignity and not exploit it like a cheap showgirl gimmick, check out this “costume” that Miss Oklahoma Triana Browne wore at this past weekend’s Miss America competition:

See what I mean? She was classy, respectful, and worked with members of her tribe to create a wardrobe that honors her tribe’s tradition and heritage. She didn’t appropriate her culture like it was a gimmick. Basically, she did the opposite of Emerald Stanley. Kudos to her.