Taking a look at OKC’s Craigslist “Missed Connections”

Every so often, we like to dig into the sad, lonely world of Craigslist ‘Missed Connections.’ It’s harrowing to dig into them, and once you go so deep, you become convinced that you are the one actually writing all of them. I do not recommend plowing into that section (or, really, any of the Personals on CL) in bulk, unless you want to feel as unwanted as the guy who saw a pretty cashier at Starbucks and assumes she’ll remember him and want a date.

To save you that experience, we’ve plucked out the very best ones. Enjoy!

Just a long shot, but I bet if you went to Groovy’s on a Thursday night, you’d probably find Teri.

I didn’t want to believe the stereotypes about truckers, but if people on the curb in front of the Jiffy Lube are their types, who am I to judge true love?

Uhh, dude… She’s your housekeeper. You hired her, right? Surely, you could just, ya know, ask, instead of leaving something on CL that’s she’s probably never gonna see.

I really, really, really want to have faith that he’s not talking about a FAMILY REUNION, but this is Oklahoma here…

This was the only post referring to closing of the steam rooms that I came across, which is crazy, because that location is about as ubiquitous as Wal-Mart when it comes to people who missed out on a hook-up. So, the short answer to your question: Yes, the saunas are currently shut down.

Blue. I bet her jeans were blue. This is why no one has ever scored on a CL Missed Connection, because y’all can’t be specific to save your damn lives.

Freight trains are still an important force in America. Even though their existence helped pave the westward expansion with the ability to more easily transport goods and people over vast distances, they seem to have fallen out of public fascination. In early American popular music like country, the sound of the train was emulated in the stiff, rhythmic picking style, and train whistle sounds would be incorporated. Trains may not be as much a part of our everyday lives, but we should still remember that they are powerful runners of our economy. And they can cum. Boy, can they cum alright.

I always thought that the Bruce Springsteen video for “I’m On Fire” was pure fantasy. Why would a fancy lady want to hook up with a grimy greasemonkey when she’s taking her sports car in for a tune-up? It turns out, I should have gone to mechanic school.

This one is obviously 100% BS, but I’m including it because it’s better written than any of the other ones I came across. It’s the details like ‘ciabatta’ and ‘fart like a Clydesdale’ that really make a story pop. Maybe it was Kevin Durant using a fake account?

I’m not sure if you really have the right to be so demanding when you’re leaving an anonymous post on a free classified ads site, but sure. I guess I’ll just get on this.

Odds are both of these people got laid off, so I’m actually rooting for them. Nothing is sweeter than OPUBCO love. (Check it out, I made it this far without making any jokes about the ‘inserting department!’)