Asshole Cop Teaches Disrespectful Hipster Bicycle Woman A Lesson

I guess you better watch your back the next time you go out for a leisurely bicycle stroll through a historic Oklahoma City neighborhood. You just never know when some overzealous cop is going to pull you over, cuff you, and toss you in the back of his car for being slightly rude and disrespectful.

That’s exactly what happened recently to Kelsey Pierce. Last week, she was riding her bike through a neighborhood near NW 23rd on her way to work at a hipster deli in Uptown when she was pulled over by a cop responding to reports of a suspicious woman looking into people’s driveways. Yada yada yada, blah blah blah… let’s just say both Kelsey and the cop handled the situation poorly.

Here’s body cam footage of the incident:

(If the video isn’t loading, you can view it here.)

I’m not going to lie, I may have laughed when the cop asked to see what was in Kelsey’s bag, and she pulled out a giant Halloween costume. At that point, she probably should have just lied and said she was on her way to panhandle with the puppeteers at 23rd and Penn. Then the cop would have left her alone without any conflict.

In all seriousness, I’m a liberal libertarian and can’t stand our country’s overzealous, inherently discriminatory law enforcement and criminal justice system. I think the cop was in the wrong here. He didn’t explain what was happening, came across as a bossy prick, and automatically assumed Kelsey was guilty of something. The guy obviously has some issues and probably shouldn’t be a police officer.

That being said, what the hell was Kelsey doing? Why was she being so difficult and snooty?

Although I make a living as a sarcastic muckraking antagonist and have spent most of my life questioning authority, I turn into one of the most polite, affable and charming MFers in the world whenever I have to deal with a police officer. What can I say? I’ll do whatever it takes to avoid a speeding ticket or being shot.

Plus, I understand that…

A) Police have difficult jobs. They have to deal with a variety of criminals, addicts, and other societal lowlifes on a daily basis. It’s in my best interests to not come across as one of those people.

B) Some cops are authoritarian assholes by nature. They will look for any excuse and opportunity to flex their power and control. It’s in my best interests to not give them an opportunity to do that.

You can read about those ideas and more in my upcoming ebook – Patrick’s Police Playbook: A Privileged Middle Class White Man’s Guide To Dealing With Police Officers.

Anyway, according to the following Facebook post, Kelsey claims the cop is facing an internal administrative investigation:

Considering we let cops shoot and kill unarmed people and then go back to work, I seriously doubt this cop will lose his job. At very least, he should be required to give Kelsey a formal apology, wear her Halloween costume on his next shift and  / or be handcuffed and thrown in the back of a cop car the next time he does nothing wrong. That will show him.