The votes are in and the people have spoken. Medical marijuana is legal in Oklahoma. And, while we all live in fear that our legislators are going to give State Question 788 the 780/781 treatment by straight up denying the will of the people, we should definitely take some time to celebrate this win.
I, for one, am super excited for the spate of dispensaries that will be popping up. And I have a 20-dollar bill that says all the CBD shops will morph into dispensaries within the next 28 days or so. But, I think we need to be proactive here. We’ve lived in a world full of terribly named vape shops for far too long. We can’t let dumb names like “Vape Lounge” and “Vape World” and “OKC Vapes” plague our precious dispensaries.
And it’s with that in mind that I have chosen to do my civic duty and give you enterprising weed-slingers some ideas for business names. With that, I give you the 10 best names for your medical marijuana dispensary.
1. Pot of Gold
There are a lot of Irish pubs in Oklahoma, and none of them can hold a candle to an actual Irish pub. It stands to reason that using Ireland as a marketing ploy really works in this state. That’s why I suggest Pot of Gold. I mean, a lot of your branding is already going to be green, so it works perfectly. And just imagine a leprechaun, but instead of a four-leaf clover, he’s got a seven-leaf herb.
2. Herban Sprawl
Let’s not assume that all dispensaries will open up in the heart of the metro. The folks at the outskirts of the suburbs need access to the various indica and sativa strains just as much as the rest of us. For that reason, I think Herban Sprawl would be a great name for a shop in the middle of a brand new strip mall in Piedmont or Mustang that’s surrounded by lots for sale.
3. Smoke, Toke and Two Vaping Darryls
Admittedly, this name really only works if your name is Darryl, and you’re opening this dispensary with your other brother Darryl. But I know in my heart of hearts that there are two Darryls in this world who really love Guy Ritchie movies, and also have the start up capital to take advantage of this new industry in our great state.
4. Gone to Pot
There’s nothing I love more than kitschy branding. And this would undoubtedly be the kitschiest of all the local dispensaries. The building would be made to look like a former pharmacy that had been hastily turned into a dispensary. So, imagine all the hallmarks of the small pharmacy, but covered up with marijuana branding. Imagine HIPPA notices covered up with the weed menu. Imagine the shelves of candy and impulse buys replaced with glass pipes and rolling papers. The employees would take a page out of the TGIFriday’s playbook and wear pharmacist-style white coats, but with tons of weed-related flair.
5. Weed to Grow Basis
If you haven’t heard, Langston University is getting the opportunity to grow the green stuff for a hemp farming program. And, since medical marijuana is legal, I think it only makes sense that they would incorporate a dispensary-running concentration for their business students. Weed to Grow Basis would be the perfect name for a farm-to-dispensary operation set up by the university.
6. This Bud’s for You
Remember how much money Budweiser made by celebrating the everyman and the hard work they did? This dispensary would use the same general idea. Only, instead of talking about all the hard work these people do, it would emphasize all the chronic pain these people have from their day jobs, and how this dispensary can help out with that.
7. Hazy Circles
Oklahoma-based branding really kills in this market. And what would be better than a name that plays on a line in our state song?
8. One Toke Over the Line
Finally, Texans are going to be coming to our state for their contraband, instead of the other way around. And, for the enterprising soul that chooses to set up shop right by the Winstar Casino, you definitely want to use this name.
9. Blunt Instruments
I think it would be pretty smart to open a dispensary near a Guitar Center. I’m not trying to stereotype here, but I now a musician or two who are pretty stoked for the passage of 788. And those folks shouldn’t have to drive all over God’s green earth to run their errands. If you need to pick up some guitar strings and XLR cables, you should be able to pop next door and get your Purple Haze and Green Crack.
10. Happy Ogle
Unfortunately, this name is already taken.
Marisa is available for all your business branding and ad copy needs. To get a list of her rates, follow her on Twitter.