Real talk: Drinking holidays are the best holidays. Christmas is a drag, and the majority of the side dishes at Thanksgiving have the texture of baby food. But New Year and Independence Day are golden beacons of what a holiday should be — no time spent with family, oodles of liquor, and usually some shit gets set on fire.
The only real downside with these holidays is that your job probably doesn’t give you much time off besides the day of. And while some of us are Type A enough to ask off for the entire week, the rest of us aren’t, and are therefore suffering through a work day with a considerable amount of sunburn and alcohol-related dehydration.
But fear not. I never have my best interests at heart when it comes to drinking, but if you’re looking for a way to feel like a human being after a day of drinking Natty Light at the lake, I’ve got your back.
With that, I bring you OKC hangover cures for those who had to go back to work today.
Sonic’s Ultimate Meat and Cheese Burrito
Sonic is like a level 20 Dungeons and Dragons cleric with all manner of healing spells, and you can’t convince me otherwise. Only, instead of using obscure items to cast these spells, Sonic is able to save you using things like tater tots, blasts, and breakfast burritos. The Ultimate Meat and Cheese Burrito is particularly magical, because it contains meat, cheese, tots, and a delightful sauce. Order the combo with a Coke, because that really adds to the medicinal properties, and then choke it down in the car on the way to work. You’ll thank me come 10 AM.
Ham and Cheese Croissant Sandwiches from various shops called “Donuts”
Sure, the fancy pants boutique donut shops are nice when you’re going to meet some friends for a cutesy breakfast on Saturday morning just before you get mani pedis, but when you’re working your way through the 3.2 flu, you gotta go to one of those strip mall shops. And the best part of strip mall donut shops is that they’re all called “Donuts.” And while you may avoid those places because you know sugar is the worst thing for a hangover, you need to get into one of those shops and get a ham and cheese croissant sandwich. They’ll warm it up for you, and won’t bat an eyelash when you get more than one. If ham ain’t your thing, they also have bacon or sausage options. And if you’re in a really bad state, you can get a jalapeño and sausage kolache. That should chase the demon right out of your body.
Chelino’s Entire Lunch Menu
There is nothing on the Chelino’s menu that is bad. There’s also no item on the Chelino’s menu that doesn’t have medicinal properties. Seriously. Feeling depressed? Go with the chilaquiles norteños. Coming down with the flu? Puerco lindo. Hungover? Cheese enchiladas should do it, but you can’t go wrong with the chimichangas. Also, you know you can’t go into a Chelino’s without ordering a Tecate with salt and lime, and maybe that big ol’ goblet of hair of the dog is what you need to overcome your current state.
Chicken Fried Steak Sandwich
You can get this one at Del Rancho or Chuck House — whichever happens to be closest to you. The grease of the meat and the slathered-on mayo are sure to put a layer of fat on top of your tummy troubles and absorb the rest of the alcohol that your body is working really hard to metabolize. I do recommend that you get yourself a side of onion rings, just because you’re already consuming a thousand or so calories. What’s five hundred more?
On Cue’s Roller Grill Delicacies
I don’t know if you can call me a functional adult because I really appreciate a hot meal from the gas station. (Admittedly, there are other reasons you can’t call me a functional adult.) But I really appreciate a place that knows sometimes you want a taquito, a hot link, and a tamale. So god bless On Cue for making this happen. Stop into any local On Cue and put something on top of what’s sure to be one of the top ten hangovers of your adult life. I can’t say the hot link will make it better, but there’s really no way you can make it worse, right?
An alcoholic snow cone shop just opened up in Norman, and Marisa really enjoyed their Fourth of July special. Follow her on Twitter here.