MC Hammer and Mark Zuckerberg’s wife are coming to Oklahoma to train inmates how to code…

It looks like being the incarceration capital of the world is finally paying off for us!

Earlier today, an Ogle Mole forwarded us an ODOC media advisory announcing that Dr. Priscilla Chan – the wife of Facebook’s evil cyborg founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg – will be visiting the Mabel Bassett Correctional Center next Monday to promote the opening of a new computer lab and coding course.

Naturally, she’ll be joined at the event by state politicians, bureaucrats and 90s rap superstar MC Hammer.

Here’s the release:

ODOC Media Advisory: New computer lab and coding course to be unveiled Monday at Mabel Bassett Correctional Center

The press are invited to a 12:30 p.m. Monday, Feb. 11, 2019, event at Mabel Bassett Correctional Center unveiling an innovative computer coding program for inmates established through a partnership with multiple Oklahoma nonprofits and The Last Mile, an organization that trains inmates. Interviews will be available with state officials, nonprofit leaders including Chan Zuckerberg Initiative’s Dr. Priscilla Chan and program students. A tour of a new classroom will also take place.

That’s pretty cool. For far too long in this country, only manufacturers and chicken farms have been able to profit and benefit from cheap prison labor. It’s about time that all-powerful social media and tech companies get their fair share of the action. They have way too many algorithms to program, way too many civilizations to destroy, and way too much free social content to monetize.

Here’s more:

The program provides students advanced training through The Last Mile’s proven platform to prepare them for a rewarding technology career after prison. Students will build websites and applications utilizing a secure network that mimics the internet…

Attendees will include Dr. Priscilla Chan, who cofounded the Chan Zuckerberg Initiative with her husband, Mark Zuckerberg; Beverly Parenti, Executive Director and Co-Founder of The Last Mile; Christopher Redlitz, Co-Founder of The Last Mile, Stanley Burrell (a.k.a. M.C. Hammer), board member of The Last Mile; and Joe M. Allbaugh, ODOC Director. Students in the first class will be available for interviews.

I think government should invest in effective systems that rehabilitate, and not incarcerate, inmates, so I’m all for programs that train them to enter new careers. But coding? I don’t know about that. We want inmates to develop into productive members of society, not hoodie clad introverts working remotely from their parents’ basements. I guess that means we shouldn’t train them to be bloggers either.

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6 Responses

  1. So now they don’t have to steal my credit card out of my mailbox? They can stay at home, watch the kids and do it online?

  2. Can’t wait to see Joe Allbaugh “break it down” with the Hammer.

  3. This sounds like an even worse version of Fyre Fest.

  4. Coding. Even inmates are doing it…. I wonder what’s stopping all those laid-off Buzzfeed “journalists” from learning how to code?

    1. Aren’t we supposed to be training these folks for the future? No crime like cybercrime. At least we know there’s a 0 % chance they will get tossed back in. See what I mean? Do they ever catch a cyber criminal? Way to go Kevin. Already taking criminals off the streets and putting them behind our computers. Genius!

  5. Coding good! Idleness bad! The Zuckerberg connection is terrific. We’ll take whatever jobs we can get in the prison setting and these are indoor, are needed outside, and inmates will receive small hourly wage.

    Great work Joe and thank you.

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