Woman who can’t drive stick shift tries to carjack stick shift…

Most people have a story about when they first learned to drive a stick.

My lesson was from a manager at the Crest Foods #2 location in Midwest City. He tried to teach me how to drive his standard transmission truck, this little and green Japanese pick-up, around the parking lot. I was immediately confused and embarrassed, and although I eventually learned how to drive later in my life, maneuvering manual transmission is not a skill I possess.

The lady above –Savanah Valenzula – has a more exciting story. She tried to steal a stick shift, didn’t know what to do, and then forced the car’s owner at knifepoint to teach her.

Via KFOR:

On Feb. 20, officers were called to the 3300 block of S. Shartel Ave. following a reported car theft.

Investigators learned that the victim left his car parked and running in the street when he went to knock on his friend’s door. As he was at the door, he saw two women get into his car.

According to the police report, the victim ran back to the car and jumped inside the vehicle.

“His car has a standard transmission and the two females could not figure out how to drive it. One of the females pulled a knife on [the victim] and ordered him to tell them how to drive it. Once [the victim] instructed the two females on how to drive the vehicle they threatened him with the knife and told him to get out of the vehicle,” the affidavit states.

Teaching someone how to drive a stick is challenging enough. Doing it at knife point while the driver is likely high on meth is impossible. I bet they totally burned the clutch.

As the victim was getting out of the car, he grabbed a phone belonging to one of the alleged suspects.

Authorities ultimately arrested 22-year-old Savanah Valenzula on a complaint of robbery with a dangerous weapon.

That’s hysterical. Just imagine being so bad at doing crime that you gotta ask the guy you’re robbing how to steal his stuff correctly. Like, I’m the kinda guy who rides a fixed-gear bike, and if somebody attempted to steal it and asked me how to ride it, I’d just keep my mouth shut and wait until they hit the first stop sign and then eat shit because they can’t brake.

The morals of this story:

– Don’t snitch on yourself about being incompetent at crime

– Don’t tell bad criminals how to steal your things

– Learn how to drive a manual transmission for better fuel economy and cheaper maintenance