Joe Exotic begs Donald Trump for presidential pardon…

After being found guilty on murder-for-hire charges, and other animal cruelty related crimes, Joe Exotic is turning to one of the few people in the world who enjoys media coverage and publicity more than him for exoneration.

According to this News 9 report, Joe Exotic has apparently written a letter to Donald Trump requesting a presidential pardon. It seems like a hail mary – especially when you consider Joe was once kicked out of a Donald Trump fundraiser – but knowing how Trump loves to use controversy and absurdity to dominate a news cycle and distract the public, it may actually work!

Here’s the letter:

Mr. President,

I am asking for a special investigation or a Presidential Pardon from the Conviction I have Just received.

Here in America we use to take the swearing of Oath seriously to tell the truth.  These days it means nothing to anyone, not even the Department of Justice or the U.S Attorney’s Office. My trial was not about the truth, it was about the win for the prosecutors. Why do I say this? Because I can prove every lie and the U.S Attorney’s Office had that proof to serve real justice and they ignored using the evidence both sides had to present to the jury.

That’s a good start. As we all know, Trump – the law and order president – is not a fan of the Department of Justice, FBI and all the other government agencies that are investigating his crimes. It’s a decent way to connect with him.

That being said, if I were Joe I would have thrown in some references to the deep state, swamp and Hillary Clinton. That really would have gotten Trump’s attention.

I am being sent to prison for a form being filled out wrong by my vet’s secretary under the Endangered Species Act.

I am being sent to prison for forms filled out wrong by the zoo manager while I was over 1000 miles away…. Under the Endangered Species Act.

I am being sent to prison because my Federal Inspector Debbie Cunningham with the USDA told me to write donated on the transfer forms but avoided being served for trial, so she’d have to admit to this.

I am being sent to prison for Euthanizing my own Tigers that were born and raised at my zoo to keep them from suffering because Congress did not put in the wording the word (TAKE) was meant for animals in the wild not in America.

Let this be a warning to everyone that keeps dozens and dozens of tigers (and ligers) in captivity and occasionally euthanizes them – pay attention to the paperwork!

Also, I hope Joe cc’d Trump’s sons! I’m sure they would love to hang out with Joe and shoot some big cats:

At this point of the letter, Joe throws the zoo’s new owner under the bus and claims the whole thing where he paid two men to kill a lady was just a big setup.

I am being sent to Prison because a seasoned con man wanted my zoo so bad for free that he set me up in a plan he devised to look like I participated in his murder for hire scheme to get me out of his way to take over. His right-hand man and co-conspirator who helped devise the plan to avoid animal related charges himself, admitted under oath that he was offered 100k to get rid of me. And the other, his long-time hired man, a convicted felon, lied under Oath saying I was involved in this plot and I can prove it.

Joe then rattled off a list of slanderous allegations that were not backed with any proof. You can read them at News 9 if you want.

Joe finished the letter with this:

All my proof was turned over and completely ignored just to push an animal right agenda to ban owning exotic animals.

I know by seeing your passion and conviction regarding our rights as American Citizens that this isn’t what you meant by your belief to “Let’s Make America Great Again”.

Mr. President, I am pleading with you to please have this looked into. I am currently incarcerated at the Grady County Jail in Oklahoma and facing 20 – 50 years in prison for doing the same thing every zoo and sanctuary owner has had to do at one time or another.

Very Respectfully,

Joseph Maldonado-Passage

Yeah, what zoo (or sanctuary) owner hasn’t offered another man money to kill a woman in Florida that you owe $1-million. It happens all the time. Do the right thing, President Trump. Take our idiocracy to a new level! Free Joe Exotic from his cage. Let him roam free!

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16 Responses

  1. Perfect. The lion king is seeking a pardon from the lyin’ president.

  2. Joe messed up putting the “Maldonado” part of his name on the letter. Trump will simply think he’s another “illegal” migrant and deport his ass to one of the three Mexicos. Joe probably had the orange fuhrer’s full attention and sympathy up until that point. So, Joe, good look in prison! It isn’t all bad, I heard they have free health care there….

    1. “good luck”

  3. To one “grab em by the p*ssy” brother from another “put the p*ssy out of its misery”…

    I see this working.

  4. ‘Take our idiocracy a new level!’

    I always get a kick out of grammatical errors when one is attacking another’s intelligence…

    1. Typos do not indicate lack of intelligence. Mostly they indicate the absence of a highly-paid editor whose job it is to proofread everything before it is published, and to catch the inevitable frequent human errors that writers make.

      Nor do perfect grammar and spelling say “I am very smart.”

      1. Nah, ol’ Patrick has some major TDS affliction:

        “That’s a good start. As we all know, Trump – the law and order president – is not a fan of the Department of Justice, FBI and all the other government agencies that are investigating his crimes”

        What “crimes”, Patrick? Russiagate turned out to be a hoax. Now what? His tax returns? lol

      2. I can see why you feel this way, literally.

    2. An omission is not a grammatical error.

  5. One major flaw in his strategy is Trump can’t (or won’t) read. He needs a celebrity advocate for this.

    1. I’ve got just the guy. He’s a vanity political candidate with a singing career who is constantly mentioned on an obscure local social blog for a city with two professional sports teams!

  6. Read the title, Wet my pants!

  7. That video thou 🙄

  8. well said graychain!

  9. Joe is a Dem thru and thru, he’l have to declare as a tranny and wait till at least 2024.

    1. Yeah – he doesn’t have a pussy to grab or made any pornos, so he will probably be ignored by Benedict Donald.

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