It’s natural for us to see phallic imagery everywhere we go. The legendary psychologist and pioneer of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, told us that men wish to have the phallus and women desire to be the phallus. We build skyscrapers and obelisks and other long and tall monuments in our subliminal tribute to the male anatomy. He would also tell us that we observe these symbols everywhere we go because deep in our psyche, the phallus tugs at these primeval wants and desires that reside in the darkest pockets of our brains.
I would tell you that the reason for this is that dicks are funny. They’re ugly and floppy and sometimes big and sometimes small but always dumb and embarrassing. It’s almost like the male body exists to be laughed at, and that’s fine as long as we don’t take ourselves too seriously.
We’ve already provided extensive coverage of the local phenomenon of Weather Dongs. You know the drill, a radar image of extreme weather that happens to look like a pecker:
I’ve seen that picture a thousand goddamn times and I still laugh.
An Ogle Mole sent us an email alerting us to a new variety of local dongs to laugh at:
My buddy’s (who’s a flight medic) wife tracks his flights to make sure he’s ok. She also tracks the okc pd for whatever reason. It wasn’t until they told me about the flight tracker app and had the okc pd tail number that I started checking out their flights for shits and gigs. This was just over the last week or so. Lots of dicks.
He sent us some images as proof. As it turns out, the OKCPD chopper is flying around the metro with no purpose other than tracing out schlongs onto the airspace. Tax money well spent? Save that debate for the guestbooks at The Pump. Ladies, gents, non-binaries, and everyone else out there who has the sense of humor of a 5th grader, we present to you, The Chopper Dongs:
Some guys have a little dangle to their angle, and they’re strong to the finish when they eats their spinach.
One of the most important artists of Freud’s time was Pablo Picasso. He has a way of breaking down perspectives to show several angles, yet still leaving the image ‘flat.’ This chopper pilot must be a fan of the famous modern artist who had a way of deconstructing shapes. Or he just wanted to loop around OKC drawing wangs in the sky.
Although it has mostly been debunked as a hoax, sightings of the Loch Ness Monster used to pique the curiosity of people who Want To Believe and Weekly World News readers alike for decades. Like the cresting neck of an ancient sea serpent, this Chopper Dong is peeking out of the water, curious, but is now as nebulous and hard to find as yesterday’s morning wood.
Ya shouldn’t go looking around in the locker room but ya do anyways, and ya might find another guy who just didn’t get it snipped. There may not be a mushroom cap, but it works fine and some people prefer that. Don’t make a judgement, it’s just the way that he was raised.