Oklahoma man nears settlement with county jail over 4-day erection…

This is why you should always consult with a physician before taking prescription medication.

According to the Associated Press, Dustin Lance – the appropriately-named-for-the-sake-of-irony dude pictured above – is nearing a settlement in his lawsuit against the Pittsburgh County Sheriff over their refusal to get him treatment for a painful four-day erection.

Here are details from the AP via KOKH:

A former Oklahoma inmate who filed a $5 million lawsuit accusing jail authorities of refusing him treatment for a painful erection that lasted four days might be about to settle.

Court records show a settlement conference is set for May 7 in the lawsuit filed by 33-year-old Dustin Lance against the current and the former Pittsburg County sheriff, the county and others. If an agreement isn’t reached, trial is to begin July 9.

Lance was in the county jail about 130 miles (210 kilometers) southeast of Oklahoma City on burglary and drug charges on Dec. 16, 2016, when he says he took a pill provided by another inmate that led to the condition.

The lawsuit says Lance was denied medical care until Dec. 19. The defendants deny the allegation.

I’ve never been to jail, so I don’t know what the customs are, but I’d probably pass on taking a little blue pill offered to me by another inmate, especially on my first night. I’d save it for a special occasion. Then again, this is Pittsburg County we’re talking about. Their sheriff was named the Third Hottest Sheriff in Oklahoma during our 2018 rankings.

Anyway, it may be hard to do, but I guess we’ll follow this case for as long as it goes. Please share your favorite dick puns in the comments.