Kelly Ogle complains about Amazon Garage Delivery…

Our counterpoint in the news media, Kelly Ogle, has released another of his pocket change opinion pieces. This time he has had a thought or two about Amazon’s garage delivery.

From News 9:

Amazon wants inside your garage, I mean, while you’re not there. They’re calling it “Key for Garage.”  At first blush, it left most people a little unnerved but they kind of gradually warmed up to it.

Knowing that “porch pirates” are lurking in virtually every neighborhood these days, Amazon has a new program to drop off your deliveries inside your garage.

When the driver gets there, they’ll notify Amazon and you with their hand held scanner, and then fire up your garage door opener. If you have an Amazon garage camera you can watch the delivery in real time.

Before we continue, it should be clarified this service does require you to purchase some equipment – specifically a MyQ Smart Garage Hub. The device connects your home to your smartphone and is what allows Amazon to protect your prime goods inside your garage. So, it’s not like you are handing out your garage code willy-nilly. You get constant updates and can even block access if you are feeling particularly paranoid…

Ok, let’s continue.

Amazon is just getting a little too comfortable in my home and life for my comfort. I mean, the Alexa speakers are all over the house listening in on our conversations, they want drones to bomb my house with delivery packages, the ones that they don’t stash in my garage.

There’s some stuff to unpack there. Since Kelly offered you two, here’s my three cents on Amazon Key Delivery. 

• I’m 100% sure Kelly Ogle is unsure how drones work. Or Amazon for that matter. He might be talking about a different type of drone. Personally, if Amazon wants to “bomb” my house with stuff, I’m cool it with. Free money.

• Yes, some people are unnerved at letting people into their garage. But most of those folks are equally unnerved at folks stealing shit off their porch. We’re gonna have to pick a thing to bitch about. Either we legalize motion detector shotguns or we install a security camera in our garage for pretty cheap.

• And yes, Amazon is pretty comfortable in your home. You’ve welcomed Alexa and her sultry voice stylings with open arms. You’ve ordered half your belongings from them. You watch their original programming. They know you, bro. When the gubment goes all Handmaid’s Tale, they’ll be using your purchase history and Alexa recordings to justify the killings.

Ultimately, it’s by choice. Don’t wanna show off your storage container that once was a garage? Stay with the old-fashioned box chucked on the porch. No one has forced your hand…yet.