Oklahoma Man Has Perfectly Reasonable Response To Snake Biting Face

Normally when Oklahomans land themselves on a national news outlet, it is because something insane has happened and they have exhibited some insane sort of response to something insane happening. Yesterday though, one remarkably calm Oklahoman proved we can be completely reasonable when Oklahoma strikes.

From CNN:

A doorbell camera captured the moment a snake attacked a man in a video that will make your skin crawl.

Jerel Heywood was visiting Rodney Copeland’s home on Sunday in Lawton, Oklahoma when the attack occurred.

The snake was wrapped around a porch light, Copeland said.

As Heywood opens the screen door, the snake pops into the corner of the camera and bites into Heywood’s head before retreating.

Heywood’s first thought? “I got bit by a snake. Didn’t know what kind it was,” he said. “Have to get to the hospital.”

Yep, this made national news. Here’s the video:

Ya’ll, that was the most rational response humanly possible; a quick jump in surprise followed by a call to head to the hospital in case that sucker was venomous. Receive potentially life-threatening injury, don’t panic, seek medical attention.

Ordinarily, the case would be made that any “good” Oklahoman would have wrastled that sumbitch to the ground while bleeding profusely, venom and potential facial necrosis be damned. The “best” Oklahoman would have been having grilled snake for supper while their eye swelled shut.

Luckily for Jerel it was not venomous. He was checked out by medical professionals and given the all clear. He didn’t even need stitches. Never fear though, the snake was eventually handled in an appropriate Okie fashion…

The snake was not as lucky.

Copeland’s wife started screaming along with Heywood, Copeland said. Their cries attracted their neighbor, who brought over a hammer, Copeland said.

He knocked the snake off the light and pummeled him to death.

Copeland said it was the first time he found a snake in his home. He imagines the 5-foot-5-incher was taking refuge from recent heavy rains. He hopes to keep away any potential lurkers by spraying the yard with sulfuric acid.

“I hear they don’t like that,” he said.

Pummeled to death with a hammer. So, the story was not without its stereotypical Oklahoma charm. Serpenticide aside, it is incredibly refreshing to see Oklahoma represented in a less Florida-y manner. Here’s to you, Jerel! Thanks for acting like a sensible adult!