Myriad Gardens loses statue, calls Channel 4 to help find it.

It looks like the geniuses at the Myriad Gardens may be smoking some of the stuff they grow in the Crystal Bridge.

Yesterday afternoon, they issued a frantic social media announcement claiming that someone had stolen a Where The Wild Things Are-inspired statue of a kid reading a book.

The plea quickly got the attention of the crack news team KFOR Channel 4. To the tune of “Wake Up” by the Arcade Fire, they rushed to the scene like it was an apartment fire started by a sexual predator and, in the process, helped locate the statue a few yards away from where it should have been…

A sculpture originally believed to have been stolen from the Myriad Botanical Gardens downtown has been found, by our very own News 4 team no less.

On Thursday morning, the officials with the Myriad Botanical Gardens filed a police report after a foam sculpture depicting the character “Max” from the children’s book, “Where the Wild Things Are” was missing…

The sculpture was found while News 4 was downtown gathering video for the story, hours after interviewing the artist and a staff member with the botanical garden. The “Max” sculpture, which is about two feet wide and three feet tall, was nestled away in an alcove located in the Children’s Garden. It was a few yards away from where it should have been.

I’m so aloof and absent-minded that I’ve considered buying a Tile for every object in my house. Who knew all I had to do was call Channel 4, and they’d come to help me find whatever I lost!

“KFOR. How may direct your call?”

“Yeah, uhm, I need to report a stolen set of car keys.”

“Where were they stolen? What do they look like?”

“In my house. They’re on a Berenstain Bears keychain.”

“We’ll be there in 15 minutes!

Seriously, though, how the hell do you not notice a weird statue of a boy dressed in white devil pajamas reading a book a few yards away? Did the staff think it was Jenni Carlson reading a book while on break? I know they’re tempting, but lay off those tropical flowers.