Edna’s is going non-smoking…

While we’re all stuck in that weird lull between Christmas and New Year’s, I thought I’d take a break from my holiday staycation to tell you about the biggest news story to hit Oklahoma City this month.

Edna’s – the venerable Oklahoma City dive bar that’s famous for its Lunch Boxes, dollar bill decor, and world-class hangovers – announced it’s embracing the Nanny state and voluntarily going non-smoking as part of TSET’s “Free the Night” initiative.

Here’s the announcement:

Wow. Although I’m all for a law that would ban smoking in public places like bars and restaurants, I’m not really sure what to think about this.

I’ve been going to Edna’s (and writing about it) for nearly two decades now. Smelling like an ashtray right when you walk in is all part of its authentic dive bar charm. What are they going to do next?! Rebrand the Lunch Box as a craft cocktail? Add air freshener to the bathrooms so they don’t smell like urine? Edna’s going non-smoking would be like Braum’s going non-fly. It doesn’t feel right or sound right!

That being said, who are we kidding here? If any dive bar can go non-smoking and retain it’s credibility, it’s Edna’s. That place is basically the Chernobyl of dive bars when it comes to cigarette smoke. Clean it all you want – there’s enough nicotine residue in the dollar bills alone to contaminate the Classen Circle area for decades. Plus, it looks like smokers won’t have to go far to inhale carcinogenic smoke:

Whew. That’s a relief. #YOUCANSTILLSMOKEON thepatio! I guess that means Edna’s will turn into a bizarro dive bar. You’ll now have to go inside to get a breath of fresh air, and cleanse your eyes and lungs. As long as you have three or four Lunch Boxes inside you, who really cares, right?