After spending my entire life in school, I’ll be graduating in May from the University of Oklahoma. Well…sort of.
Via OU Email:
You have successfully completed your Commencement and Convocation Reservation Form. We look forward to celebrating your accomplishments with you!
You may make changes to your reservations through the first day of dead week for the fall and spring terms. You may access your form by visiting www.ou.edu/gotograduation. If you have any questions about your reservations, Commencement or your college Convocation ceremony, please contact the Graduation Office at (405) 325-0841 or email@example.com.
As it turns out, Oklahoma required 60 credit hours to graduate. Due to this, I can’t get my diploma until I complete three unrelated, unnecessary classes after I walk in May. This was an unexpected lesson I had to learn from OU; yet, it certainly wasn’t the first one taught.
Here are some other lessons I learned from my time at OU:
Parking Time Management
TLO has covered OU Parking’s repetitive bullshit schemes for more money out of college students. All the worn-down shoes and paid parking tickets are constant reminders of OU’s time management lesson: whatever you do, don’t let the meter run down in the stadium parking.
From not learning how to properly turn a covered wagon to the time when Gaylord College put a golden eyesore on campus made by a guy who shot a chained dog on camera for the sake of art; OU teaches their students the sanctity of animal life. Just remember to walk over the squirrel carcasses smashed by truck tires on your way to class.
Landscaping: Less is More
Once a flourishing ground of crimson and cream flowers, these healthy dirt piles provide all Sooner students with a lesson in economics: when in doubt, fire the landscapers.
Relationship: The Do’s and Definitely Don’t
As it turns out, discussing sexual harassment, assault and the meaning of consent only once during an entire college career is problematic. If you don’t believe me, meet me by David Boren’s statue near the theater department and we’ll walk to Kong’s Tavern together.
Blackface is still a thing…
Since Norman is a blue bubble in a red sea, students often find themselves wondering how the rest of the world doesn’t think like them. Nothing pops this fictional bubble more than blackface plaguing the school twice in one semester.
Thanks for the lessons, OU. Try harder with the next batch of Boomer Sooner suckers that stumble through there.