5 Things We Learned on Election Night in OKC…

Well, I guess we survived another Super Tuesday election. Here are five armchair thoughts on what went down in OKC on election night.

1. Cheap-ass OKC residents don't want decent parks...

The proposal that would have increased Oklahoma City's sales tax by 1/8th a cent to fund operations, improvements, maintenance and programming for city-operated neighborhood parks failed by a count of 47% - 53%;

In all honesty, I'm surprised it actually did that well! As we know, Oklahoma City still has a huge chunk of cheap, anti-government residents who think even libraries are a waste of taxpayer dollars. Plus, just a couple of days before the election, a right-wing, probably OKC Chamber-backed dark money group dropped a ton of money in local TV ads to help defeat the proposal, because you know – additional sales taxes can only help the local ruling class.

On the topic of the ruling class, the proposal – which would have improved the shitty ass parks that dot our inner and outer suburbs – received no support or endorsement from Mayor McSelfie. Although he enthusiastically led the charge for MAPS 4, organizing campaign events and sharing social media pic after pic in support of the one-penny sales tax, David Holt's shared more photos of him with The Indigo Girls than he has any sort of acknowledgement of a 1/8th-cent measure that would have improved his city's parks. Weird, huh? It's almost like the mayor of our city only cares about sales tax initiatives that help enrich his employer.

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2. Oklahoma Democrats are trying their best to lose to Trump 

Back in October of 2016, I predicted on a local podcast that Trump would upset Hillary in the election. If the rest of the country does what Oklahoma Democrats did – a.k.a. follow the orders of the mainstream political media establishment, and nominate a sleepy, uninspiring, neoconservative war hawk who's losing his marbles to oppose Trump – I'll probably make the same prediction next October.

Seriously, Joe Fucking Biden? I think all the Democratic candidates had some flaws, but he literally represents all the things the party should be trying to move away from. I say this because I'm a registered independent living in a conservative state where my Presidential vote ultimately doesn't matter, but if my choices for president are a right-wing, self-serving narcissistic liar, or a bumbling, ultra-establishment neo-con cronie, I'll probably sit this election out... again.

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3. Sunday Fun Day will be more fun

Oklahoma County residents easily passed a proposition that will allow liquor stores to be open on Sunday by a 70% - 30% margin. This is great news for people who want to spontaneously stock a Bloody Mary Bar on Sunday morning, or area musicians who need to bite the dog before they perform at LifeChurch.TV. Also, kudos to the 30% of Oklahoma County authoritarian squares who voted to impose their moral code on others. I respect you holding true to your authoritarian values.

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4. Mike Bloomberg is kind and generous...

I had a lot of issues about Mike, his political record, and the fact that we live in a "democracy" where some billionaire can waltz in and buy enough votes to swing an election – but give the man some credit for helping prop up the media for the last few weeks! His campaign even booked ads on this site, which most other politicians are scared to do. Let's just hope he's not like another (alleged) billionaire and actually pays his bills.

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5. College basketball is hideous to watch...

Maybe my age, priorities and Thunder season tickets have something to do with it, but 20 years ago, I would watch every minute of every OU game, living and dying with every drop of heart, hustle and hardwood. Now I can barely watch one minute of an OU game without texting a friend about how unwatchable college hoops has become. And the times I do turn on a game, this happens:

Seriously, watching college basketball is about as cringeworthy as watching Joe Biden on the campaign trail! Unless another Blake, Buddy or Trae comes along – it's hard to believe OU's had three elite college hoops talents on the court over the past decade or so – I'm content to hang up my old denim shirt, sell my Phillips 66 Big 8 basketball sticker collection on eBay, and officially become a fair weather OU hoops fan. Basically, I'm fine casually following the team on social media and only watching them play in the NCAA tournament like most other OU fans. Wake me up when / if that happens.