5 OKC Media Personalities Who Are Probably High Right Now…

With all the wacky shit that goes on at 4, 5, 9 and 25, you’d think they were taking drugs the commercial breaks. You know, someone off screen trying not to cough from an overzealous bong hit as someone takes a Xanax with their white wine while the weather person tells is it’s beautiful outside and we must stay at home. I really wish that I could access the OMMA patient list just so I could confirm my suspicions. So until an Ogle Mole informs me otherwise, here’s my list of OKC news people that I know are high on something, not life.

Kent Ogle

This guy looks like he just split a tray of indica brownies, washed it down with a keg stand and decided to read the news each morning. From the far off look in his eyes to the questionable jokes he tells on air, this wake n’ beker has to be lit AF and loving every moment of it!

Jim Gardner

Like a drunken driver who just won’t give up the keys, Jimmy sat in the pilots seat for over 30 years. Holy shit, why did we let this guy chase car chases and hover over fires for so long? When you get to be a certain age many people have got to take pills to feel ok only sometimes they don’t mix, like a Joe and Carole. Maybe that’s why he ended up following the wrong car?

Regular Jim Traber

I swear, the shit that’s come out of this guys mouth, you’d have to be high on something to feel ok after saying it – “Tiger Woods will never win another major!”, “Russell Westbrook is NOT a point guard”, “Okay, now you take the shaving cream and rub it all over the outside of the glove…”

I prefer the cardboard version of him any day.

David Payne

You know those people who need to get high to enjoy things? I think Dave has reached that point in his weather career. From misjudging smudges to his weird phrases, he just reminds me of a speed-using conspiracy theorist that is constantly drawing things that connect to other things that haven’t happened yet, but will. I think that’s how weather dongs originated.

Emily Sutton

This would explain why she uses Oreos to teach us the weather.

Editor’s Note: We put most of Uncle Skunk’s marijuana content on The Happy Ogle, but today we made an exception. 

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10 Responses

  1. Must have been a slow cycle. Uncle skank needs to stay on the happy stoned Ogle. He makes Meg Alexander sound smart.

    1. Your music was terrible and appropriated cultures!


    2. Nothing or no one could ever make Meg Alexander sound smart.

  2. KFOR’s Mr. Food needs to do a THC segment.

    1. If you’re watching Mr. Food, then YOU must be stoned.

      1. What did Mr. Food ever do to you?

  3. “Things that haven’t happened yet but will”
    Great line from one of the always under valued Bob Schneider songs 40 Dogs.

  4. At least Kent is not constantly throwing in his unwanted 2-cents in while worshiping the fake president and knocking professionally-done national news. If Jim Gardner is high he needs to find some stronger stuff. Traber is the perfect example of a faux celeb. Weather expert “could be strong, possibly severe ” Fuzzhead Payne doesn’t need to worry about the barbershop closings. As for Sutton she needs to split from these local dunderheads and go to the Weather Channel. Her and Cassie are too good for their surroundings.

  5. Kinda miss watching car chases live on KWTV.

  6. Shaving cream ruins gloves by drying out the leather I found out the hard way following his advice

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