7 Reasons Why The RNC Should Be Held in Oklahoma

According to recent news reports and tweets from diabolical presidents, the 2020 Republican National Convention could move out of North Carolina due to pesky snowflake social distancing guidelines. As a result, Oklahoma City is now trying to position itself to be the new home of this mega-MAGA event:

Could President Trump and the Republican National Convention be headed to Oklahoma in late August? The Governor and Lt. Governor of Oklahoma are making a push.

The 2020 RNC had been scheduled for Charlotte, but the Governor of North Carolina has said he would not allow the arena there to be at full capacity for social distancing purposes and he would require attendees to wear masks.

That news reportedly didn’t sit well with President Trump, so party officials are shopping around for a new event location.

Oklahoma Lt Gov. Matt Pinnell’s office says Oklahoma City and Tulsa could be potential sites.

“We have monitored closely what is going on with the 2020 Republican National Convention and would gladly welcome the RNC to either Oklahoma City or Tulsa. We have had initial conversations about the possibility of Oklahoma as a site, and will continue to pitch our state as a great location for such an event. The party conventions are an important and visible part of the presidential campaign, and we would be proud to host either party convention this year or in the future.”

That’s great news, my fellow Oklahomans! If the GOP is looking for a state that bleeds red as much as it ignores CDC guidelines, Oklahoma is just the place! Patrick and I came up with a few reasons why Oklahoma should be the home of this year’s Republican National Convention!

Nobody has taken their Trump 2016 signs down yet

Donald Trump has secured a lot of continued support among his Oklahoma constituents. So much so that many lawns, pickup truck bumpers, and lawmaker offices across the state still display their Trump 2016 campaign materials. In fact, recent surveys report that 53% of Oklahomans believe that Donald Trump will be victorious over Barack Obama in the next presidential election.

-Hayley

Cow-tipping Excursion Tours

Oklahoma is known for many things, like football, tigers and tragedies – but one of our favorite pastimes is actually the lost art of cow tipping. In fact, did you know that on the third Tuesday of each month, David Holt takes tourists (a.k.a. paid social media influencers) on guided cow-tipping excursions through the Oklahoma countryside? The cost is only $50, and includes a selfie with the mayor and lunch at Jones Assembly.

-Patrick

Not even Bob Barker could keep elephants out of Oklahoma

Back in 2015, Bob Barker worked tirelessly to keep the magnificent creatures from being transferred to the Oklahoma City Zoo. Being that Bob Barker couldn’t even keep the elephants out of this state, the GOP can be certain they have a safe haven here.

-Hayley

Meet an Ogle

I’m pretty sure they’re all Republicans, and all over 8-feet tall, so it’s quite a sight to behold.

-Patrick

We are in the middle of the country

Oklahoma is conveniently located in the center of the good ole U S of A, which is logistically perfect for traveling from either coast. Though we are located in the dead center of the country, the GOP can rest assured that this state is far right on the political spectrum because…

-Hayley

Plenty of Churches for Awkward Photo Ops

In fact, Donald Trump could probably walk half a block down any street in the metro and have the opportunity to take photos in front of the churches of at least seven or eight different denominations of Christianity.

-Hayley

Prostitutes for Any Taste or Occasion

Although they may come across as morally righteous and superior than the others, local Republicans know where to find a good time when you need one.

-Patrick

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30 Responses


  1. That’s all we need, some more drunken Neo-con morons closing the state down again.


  2. Huh. The RNC in Okahoma.

    That’s like taking a Big Gulp cup, filling it with sea water, chugging it down, and then saying, “Needs more salt.”


  3. Are we still on the “CDC guideline” trip? I thought since thousands of people have been gathering on large groups, not social distancing, touching each other and not wearing masks we were over covid-19.

    Better continue to point out every evil person “murdering grandma” for the economy who doesn’t wear a mask while simultaneously celebrating thousands of people gathering in mass passing around Coronavirus like meth at a OU football watch party in Shawnee.

    Yes, I think you lost any moral high ground on lecturing people on the dangers of covid-19 a couple of weeks ago. I just hope when look back on this time at grandma’s funeral we will know she died for a good reason! Not so people could do something silly like work and feed their families, but she died making a noble sacrifice so that people could vandalize the bombing memorial and smash car windows. RIP grandma.


    1. Well typed Sam, well typed…proud of you!


  4. I love the “Welcome to Oklahoma! Discover the Excellence!” sign. It’s like that million dollar treasure hidden in the Rockies. First one to find “The Excellence” in Oklahoma wins an autographed Seth Wadley hat singed by Joe “The Tiger King” Exotic, an Ogle Mole coozy and the entire collection of Toby Keith CDs.


  5. We earned this! All 77 of our counties voted for Trump in 2016, and are likely to repeat the honor in November. What better way to “own” our pathetic minority of “libs”?

    I’m sure that police will be out in force in riot gear and loaded with tear gas (or whatever you like to call it) in case any pesky BLM demonstrators dare to make an appearance for Trump’s coronation. Remember Chicago 1968?

    Will Trump borrow a bible from Mike Pence again for his church photo op, or perhaps borrow one from Mrs. Stitt? Will there be an American flag nearby for him to hug? These things matter!


    1. I refuse to believe there are that many mental defectives in Oklahoma.
      Much more likely there was tom foolery going on at the polls, along with gerrymandering.
      Read Boss Rove.


      1. The tomfoolery occurs very early in the voting process, making voting as difficult as possible for people likely to vote Democratic.

        Example: the Legislature’s recent restoration of the requirement that absentee ballots be NOTARIZED! Only Oklahoma, Missouri, and Mississippi still retain that old voter-suppression tactic.


      2. Do you honestly think gerrymandering effects presidential elections? I think people just hear terms sometimes and just start using them where they think it sounds right.

        Like, did you just read an article that had the terms gerrymandering and voting and just assume it works on every election? It’s doesn’t have anything to do with presidential elections.


        1. Do you even know what gerrymandering IS, you pathetic, deluded hillbilly?


          1. Of course. It’s simple. Gerrymandering is basically the manipulation of electoral borders to favor certain electoral outcomes. It’s not complicated. When republicans gerrymander they tend to us “packing” which concentrates supporters for a particular party/candidate into a single district, thereby decreasing their ability to influence the outcome of surrounding districts. When democrats gerrymander the tend to use “cracking” which employs the opposite technique by breaking a voting bloc into multiple districts so that their votes will be watered down and not constitute a majority anywhere.

            Both are effective in solidifying a majority for their party, but neither have anything to do with electing the president. Have you ever seen states redraw their borders to effect the electoral college? Lol. Of course not.
            Just for future reference so you don’t embarrass yourself by showing your ignorance again gerrymandering doesn’t affect any election that has an entire state directly voting on an issue or candidate. For example voting for governor, US Senate, state questions, etc. would not be manipulated by gerrymandering.


            1. While you’re mostly correct, Maine and Nebraska’s electoral votes are divided up according to which candidate wins a given congressional district. In 2008, for example, Obama had the most votes in the district which included Omaha, so he received one electoral vote from Nebraska. McCain carried the other districts and the overall popular vote, so he received the other four allotted electoral votes. Gerrymandering COULD affect the outcome in these instances.


            2. yeah, not gerrymandering, republicans employ racist industrial strength voter suppression to cheat and win elections. why the need if their policies are so great for America. gop and a embarrassingly partisan scotus have been strangling our form of representative government for decades.


      3. Did you just move here?


  6. To paraphrase what some dumb politician said once … Can’t fight it , might as well sit back and enjoy it … I think he was talking about rape, but the RNC is essentially the same thing, raping the country for the sake of a few billionaires.


    1. I may be wrong and Cliff Clavin/Graychin won’t hesitate to write a gleeful treatise about my error, but I think a great number of the wealthiest people in the country identify as Democrat: Bill Gates, Hollywood, apparently the entire NFL now, Warren Buffet, Pelosi just to name a few.
      The old narrative of Democrats being for the poor and Republicans only caring about the rich is tired and used up.
      Both parties care only about furthering their agenda and keeping power with no regard to the people they pretend to represent.
      All the political pissing and moaning on which we waste time means nothing to those in power.
      we are the “useful idiots”.

      BTW: I especially liked the last line in the post: “Although they may come across as morally righteous and superior than the others…”
      -pot calling kettle-


      1. The primary difference between rich Democrats and rich Republicans is that rich Republicans care only about tax cuts and keeping labor cheap. And nothing else.

        Rich Democrats see lots of other ways to make
        America better besides getting richer themselves.


        1. Keep drinking the kool aid comrade


          1. That’s your response?

            Sad.


      2. Defending donald and all you have is that? Republicans and Democrats are the same?
        I suppose it’s either that or you just disappear altogether like most other Gopers.
        Can’t stand the embarrassment.
        Nothing more hilarious than a Republican candidate for anything: Guns, Wall, red coat, and be very, very afraid. Brownshirts? Cult? Same bunch.


  7. In keeping with the “Ready, Fire, Aim” policies of the Stitt Administration, the Oklahoma City Convention Bureau announced they aren’t interested in hosting the RNC.

    This is what the president of that organization said:
    “Appreciate their enthusiasm … this is not the right time for us,” Mike Carrier said.

    Here is the story, free of any paywall:

    https://www.koco.com/article/official-explains-why-okc-isnt-ready-to-host-the-republican-national-convention/32805526


  8. May I suggest Lake of the Ozarks ?


    1. How deep is it?


  9. No sh!t we’re not ready! The Habana Inn has to prepare all those rooms to rent by the hour. That place will be a madhouse with all the GOP closeteers looking to live out their secret cowboy on cowboy dreams.


    1. Actually the Habana would send that closet trash packing to the Super 8 in Moore where our own local rep’s like to chill (see Ralph Shortey).


  10. Not OKC. NO! We don’t want them here. Send them to Bartlesville. It takes freaking forever to drive there, if they don’t want to fly. Book the convention in the Price Tower Arts Center, which produces claustrophobia like you wouldn’t believe. When it’s time to leave, send them out of Bartlesville Municipal Airport in jammed-packed charter planes with no alcohol. Plus, we all know what frequently happens to charter planes. Bye-bye!


    1. No, I don’t want the Price Tower to be stunk up by a bunch of Republicans. It’s a historic landmark.


  11. Is there a way to combine the RNC Convention with the Rodeo Arena in Guthrie? A bareback, reverse cowboy COVID convention?
    They could open up the old rest stops just north of OKC for all the pervs. You can almost see that giant cross in Edmond all the way from Guthrie or Dallas.
    Plus Oklahoma is always in the top 5 or bottom 5. Not one state or city can top that achievement.
    Even Stitt can’t screw up this lock.


  12. Another reason is that they can see what Big Oil has done for the state (if they hurry before the foreclosures).


  13. Hat to say, but we’re gonna have a large COVID bump between now and convention-time.

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