7 Reasons Why The RNC Should Be Held in Oklahoma

According to recent news reports and tweets from diabolical presidents, the 2020 Republican National Convention could move out of North Carolina due to pesky snowflake social distancing guidelines. As a result, Oklahoma City is now trying to position itself to be the new home of this mega-MAGA event:

Could President Trump and the Republican National Convention be headed to Oklahoma in late August? The Governor and Lt. Governor of Oklahoma are making a push.

The 2020 RNC had been scheduled for Charlotte, but the Governor of North Carolina has said he would not allow the arena there to be at full capacity for social distancing purposes and he would require attendees to wear masks.

That news reportedly didn’t sit well with President Trump, so party officials are shopping around for a new event location.

Oklahoma Lt Gov. Matt Pinnell’s office says Oklahoma City and Tulsa could be potential sites.

“We have monitored closely what is going on with the 2020 Republican National Convention and would gladly welcome the RNC to either Oklahoma City or Tulsa. We have had initial conversations about the possibility of Oklahoma as a site, and will continue to pitch our state as a great location for such an event. The party conventions are an important and visible part of the presidential campaign, and we would be proud to host either party convention this year or in the future.”

That’s great news, my fellow Oklahomans! If the GOP is looking for a state that bleeds red as much as it ignores CDC guidelines, Oklahoma is just the place! Patrick and I came up with a few reasons why Oklahoma should be the home of this year’s Republican National Convention!

Nobody has taken their Trump 2016 signs down yet

Donald Trump has secured a lot of continued support among his Oklahoma constituents. So much so that many lawns, pickup truck bumpers, and lawmaker offices across the state still display their Trump 2016 campaign materials. In fact, recent surveys report that 53% of Oklahomans believe that Donald Trump will be victorious over Barack Obama in the next presidential election.

-Hayley

Cow-tipping Excursion Tours

Oklahoma is known for many things, like football, tigers and tragedies – but one of our favorite pastimes is actually the lost art of cow tipping. In fact, did you know that on the third Tuesday of each month, David Holt takes tourists (a.k.a. paid social media influencers) on guided cow-tipping excursions through the Oklahoma countryside? The cost is only $50, and includes a selfie with the mayor and lunch at Jones Assembly.

-Patrick

Not even Bob Barker could keep elephants out of Oklahoma

Back in 2015, Bob Barker worked tirelessly to keep the magnificent creatures from being transferred to the Oklahoma City Zoo. Being that Bob Barker couldn’t even keep the elephants out of this state, the GOP can be certain they have a safe haven here.

-Hayley

Meet an Ogle

I’m pretty sure they’re all Republicans, and all over 8-feet tall, so it’s quite a sight to behold.

-Patrick

We are in the middle of the country

Oklahoma is conveniently located in the center of the good ole U S of A, which is logistically perfect for traveling from either coast. Though we are located in the dead center of the country, the GOP can rest assured that this state is far right on the political spectrum because…

-Hayley

Plenty of Churches for Awkward Photo Ops

In fact, Donald Trump could probably walk half a block down any street in the metro and have the opportunity to take photos in front of the churches of at least seven or eight different denominations of Christianity.

-Hayley

Prostitutes for Any Taste or Occasion

Although they may come across as morally righteous and superior than the others, local Republicans know where to find a good time when you need one.

-Patrick