7 Real COVID-19 Super-Spreader Situations Affecting The Metro

With COVID-19 numbers rising faster than an AC bill in an Oklahoma July, Mayor David Holt tag-teamed with the Oklahoma County Health Department to warn Oklahomans about the dangers of the “Seven Super-Spreader Situations.”


Oklahoma City Mayor David Holt and metro health officials held a news conference Tuesday to address the ongoing coronavirus pandemic. Health officials identified seven “super spreader” events/activities for the virus, and urged people to take special caution while attending these events.

During the news conference, Holt said Oklahoma City saw a spike in new cases in June. The spike has happened in an environment where total tests administered have declined, due to diminishing demand, and the percentage of people testing positive has increased, Holt said…

Dr. Patrick McGough, executive director of the Oklahoma City-County Health Department, said during the news conference that people 18 to 50 years old need to take the virus seriously during seven situations, including faith-based activities, indoor physical activities, bars, weddings, funerals, gyms and other small private events.

These “Super Spreader” Situations, also known by the even lamer name of “The Serious Seven” by Tulsa’s Mayor G.T. Bynum and Tulsa Health Department, are seven circumstances that could seriously and significantly swell the spread of COVID-19. While it’s important health officials and city leaders pair up to urge Oklahomans to mask up or avoid such activities to prevent the spread of the virus, I think they’ve missed the mark. Here’s there real Serious Seven Super Spreader Situations significantly spreading the risk of COVID-19 in the state!

Fireworks Stands

FACT. Approximately 67% of people in line at fireworks stands don’t wear shirts. What makes you think they are going to be wearing masks when they stock up on Roman Candles, Black Cats, and Purple Rain?

Voting Lines

Usually it’s a good thing when there’s a lot of people lined up to vote. But it’s a little riskier nowadays. Don’t forget, you can request your absentee ballot by going to the Election Board website here. You might as well request all ballots for the remainder of the 2020 elections, because it doesn’t look like the COVID-19 is going away anytime soon. At this rate, you might as well request the 2021 ballots as well.

Kelly Ogle’s Independence Day Swingers Party

Due to COVID-19 freaking everyone out, many of Kelly Ogle’s A-list buddies and buddettes have declined the invitation to his annual Independence Day Swingers Party. Which is leaving him no choice but to invite some of his B- and C-list acquaintances to make sure there’s enough attendees to justify the catering cost. It looks like he may already be down to his D-list guestlist, as evidenced by us at TLO already receiving two requests to RSVP.

Playing Sports Ball

Being that the positive cases at March’s scheduled Thunder vs. Jazz NBA game appeared to be the catalyst for COVID-19 related closures in this state and that 14 OU football players tested positive for the virus earlier this week, it appears that having 10-22 sweaty folks fighting over a ball for two hours at a time may actually create a hotspot for transmission. But don’t worry. According to Mike Gundy, we need the sporting events to “run money through the state of Oklahoma,” and the players are healthy enough to fight it off.

Unemployment Lines

Based on how long people are having to wait in lines to meet with unemployment officials in Oklahoma, there’s a chance you can catch COVID-19, comes down with symptoms, and recover or die before you meet with an unemployment official in Oklahoma.

Going to Walmart

Grocery shopping isn’t an inherently risky situation to be in. But going to Walmart sure the hell is because, 1) Coming from experience, you’re more likely to see a shopper in Cookie Monster pajama pants than a face mask, and 2) Anytime you visit Walmart there is an 89% chance you will run into an acquaintance or extended family member who will engage with you in a non-socially distancing conversation about your plans for the 4th.

The Governor’s Residence

Friendly reminder – the governor and his family are too good to live at the Governor’s Mansion. Either way, since our esteemed governor still refuses to mandate masks despite COVID-19 numbers rising by the hundreds daily and the first lady seems about as likely to wear a mask in public as she is well-fitting shoes, the Stitt household should probably get their own node on the “Super Spreader” graphic, preferable in the middle.

Hayley has been avoiding fireworks stands like the plague. Because, you know, there’s a plague. Follow her on twitter @squirrellygeek

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24 Responses

  1. You forgot the local megachurch services.

    1. Definitely superspreaders, trusting the Lord to keep them safe.

      1. For someone who has no faith you sure spend a lot of energy commenting about it. Any and all posts that have any reference to religion or God or faith and you’re on it like stink on shit.
        In fact, you seem to be negative about almost everything. I am curious. – is there anything that you enjoy?
        Your comments are just a series of snide remarks usually aimed at making someone else feel bad.

        1. Who said I have no faith? You have no idea what I believe, other than that megachurch services without precautions are superspreaders.

          The “someone else” that I hope to make feel bad is you, of course.

  2. Those shirtless Okies at fireworks stands won’t be wearing masks because it’s impossible to smoke cigarettes that way.

  3. Hey dumbfuck, see Texas for how it should be done, it’s not unenforceable, you’ve drunk the Kool-Aid. Sad that Texas is smarter than we are.

  4. And REALLY? Police being executed in our state? Traffic stops in any municipality can go bad, they’re not “executions”, you’re even a dumber fuck than I originally thought.

    1. Does stitt seriously still not live at the Mansion? I thought it got its restorations and renovations by now. A mask mandate is easily enforced. Called a ticket/fine, how about a warning. Then say 250 for the first 500 for the second and lets get spicy with the third and jump to 1,500. You choose to not show ID thats resisting, do not pass go as one says. You wanna be the moron that gets arrested for not wearing a mask thats all you i personally cant wait for that mugshot on the evening news. You dont show up or pay, enjoy your stay. Our jails under a new group heard its just lovely and the people warm and inviting.

      1. It doesn’t seem fair to ask little college Johnnie to stop some drunken redneck entering the local food establishment getting his ass kicked for minimum wage?
        Someway donald has managed to convince the cult masks are a political thing. Total insanity.

    2. That’s not quite how Texas is doing it. In Austin, a city ordinance was passed. If an establishment is not adhering to the latest capacity restrictions (25%, 50%, 75%), or if patrons are not wearing masks or social distancing, then the establishment’s liquor license is being suspended.
      So, now, the state/city/whatever law enforcement isn’t on the hook for enforcing it. It’s up to the establishment to be “the bad guy”. It’s sneaky and genius at the same time.

  5. Of course mandating masks is unenforceable. Besides, I would hope that the police have better things to do than ticket unmasked people, or handcuff kids for “jaywalking” in a low-traffic street with no sidewalks.

    Yet I think it would make SOME difference if the Guv or even the Prez said “Everybody must wear a mask in public.” Then social pressure might encourage more people to mask, wiping away the excuse “But it’s voluntary!”

    Instead, the message from the Guv and the Prez is: “It would be nice if some of you wore masks in public, if you don’t mind and it’s not too much trouble. It’s entirely up to you, of course. We wouldn’t want to deny you any of your freedoms. Never mind that masks protect others more than they protect you. You are the only one who matters.”

    Sadly, we have seen how the personal conduct of both of those gentlemen defies any sense of personal responsibility and provides a bad example for anyone who happens to respect them.

    The most important reason why people don’t wear masks is stupidity. And it’s a well-known fact that you can’t fix stupid.

    Interesting fact: Herman Cain is in a hospital in Atlanta receiving treatment for COVID-19. He has been loudly anti-mask, and was photographed at Trump’s Tulsa rally sitting side-by-side unmasked in the midst of a crowd of other unmasked people.

  6. Now Donnie Jr’s girlfriend has tested positive for Covid. Karma for all the morons in DC and their zombie governors, including our own yes man Stitt.

    1. Hope silicone isn’t an overpowering force enabling COVID to cause serious long lasting damage.

  7. With you 100% on Graychin!

    By the way my GF and i just left the Mustang Walmart to witness half of the employees wearing their masks only covering their mouths and not their noses. And 60% of the customers had no masks. We couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

  8. I know that a super spreader event recently took place in Tulsa. but people who went from the OKC metro to the Tulsa event are still spreading it around OKC like beads at Mardi Gras. What’s the proof??? Herman Cain went to Tulsa, and he got some Rona as a souvenir from that trip. Ah, shucky ducky!!!

    1. The entire country is not spiking. Only certain dumb ass states such as ourselves. I blame it on a lack of leadership at the local level. Mayor Holt has done a great job but he can only do so much when our Governor is a total slap dick. All Stitt can say is, “we are following CDC guidelines”. Come on man, think for yourself for once and get off Trumps jock.

  9. Don’t forget Louis as a super-spreader….continuing to do his reviews of restaurants, theaters, truck stops, roadside fruit stands, whatever. He’s been mingling with the masses as well. I find it odd that everyone thinks that’s okay.

    I guess TLO’s still gotta make that dollar. Even though they railed against other businesses for remaining open and risking the health of their employees. But, it’s okay for them to keep sending Louis out. And I’m sure Louis likes receiving that modest stipend. But, when it’s Oklahoma-at-large wanting to go back to work, then TLO’s on them for being criminals and lacking human decency.

    1. How’re things in Austin Okie? I’m sure Louis is taking care of himself as well as others when he ventures out, plus he’s buying local when he does. Very simple, where a mask, social distance. It can be done.

      When’s the last time we had over 130,000 U.S. citizens dead from one cause in a period of a little over 4 months? It didn’t have to happen, and it doesn’t have to continue.

      1. Your response has nothing to do with the point I was making. You missed it, as most TLO readers do.

        1. Sorry to rile ya Tex. My comment was in reference to your naming Louis a super spreader. Stay safe, as most TLO readers do.

    2. You can still go out in public and be safe as I’m sure Louis is. And he is supporting local businesses. I go to the grocery store, pickup take out and go to Lowe’s or Home Depot when I need to. I always wear a mask, socially distance and wash the shit out of my hands and lather them in hand sanitizer. People can still move about the world in a smart and safe way. The problem is most oklahoman’s think its a hoax so they don’t do what they should be doing. Those are the people you should be directing your shitty comments towards.

      1. You should get with Mark from Tulsa. You missed my point as badly as he (she?) did. It would be a real ‘meeting of the minds.’

        Maybe the two of you can get a group discount on a reading comprehension class.

        1. Pretty sure you were saying you think its hypocritical for Louis to go out in public while shaming others? Is that correct? If not, I don’t think you did a very good job making your point.

  10. I don’t see how its unenforceable. That’s like saying speeding or being completely nude in public is unenforceable. You simply have cops write tickets and you make those tickets very expensive.

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