7 Things That Make Kevin Stitt Very Uncomfortable

Last week, during one of his Coronavorus press conferences, Governor Kevin Stitt answered a question about why he’s not mandating masks in Oklahoma:

“I’ve been very clear, I’m not comfortable with mandating masks. So, municipalities that mandate masks – that’s not something I would do,” Stitt said. “I’m going to protect the freedoms in Oklahoma. We’re not going to mandate in the state of Oklahoma, and we’re not going to be mask-shamers either.”

Yep, he’s not mandating masks because he’s one of those conservative tough guys that doesn’t trust the scientific consensus – it’s simply because he’s not “comfortable. On that note, here’s 7 other things that must also make Kevin Stitt very uncomfortable!


The daily report on COVID-19 numbers in Oklahoma suggest that we opened up shop way too fucking early it may be time for our state’s leaders to reconsider loosening restrictions granted by the reopening phases. But Stitt isn’t comfortable sacrificing the state’s economy to curtail the pandemic. It seems like he’d rather sacrifice your grandparents.


His Hair Growing Out to the Point of Touching His Neck

Remember early in his “safer-at-home” initiative, Stitt declared cosmetology services “unessential” and reiterated that Oklahomans should refrain from getting haircuts until restrictions were lifted? Apparently, Stitt forgot and hired a hair and makeup stylist to re-do his do before an interview with Fox News.

Trump’s Twitter Account

Contrary to popular belief, Stitt didn’t invite Trump’s campaign to kick off in Tulsa or hold an ass-kissing round table with Donald to make the esteemed president happy. Stitt is just trying to stay on his good side to avoid being cyberbullied by Trump on twitter. Stitt knows from his years of public school and TLO stardom that there are too many colorful puns the mean kids can make with his name.


Now that Trump has moved on past Oklahoma on his campaign trail and began wearing his “Lone Ranger” style mask, Stitt finally feels safe enough to advocate for the safety of wearing a mask while cavorting in public places. But as we’ve said, Stitt says he isn’t quite comfortable making the decision to mandate mask-wearing in Oklahoma. In Dungeons & Dragons, we call this difficulty in decision-making, “analysis paralysis.” In the real world, we call this, “ineffective leadership.”

1970s-Era Wallpaper

Spokesfolk for our esteemed governor state that the first family chose not to move into the Governor’s Mansion due to the estate falling into “disrepair” and needing approximately $2 million in renovations before it is habitable. The news stories framed the renovations as being structural, such as fixing leaking roofs and sealing the foundation. But in reality, Stitt is refusing to call the mansion home until David Boren’s risque 1975-era wallpaper choices are expunged.

Being Disagreed with

From filling his cabinet with “yes-men,” to disregarding health experts’ guidelines for reopening the state, it seems like Stitt may feel uncomfortable when someone disagrees with him.

A World without Margs

Kevin Stitt made it clear a couple of weeks ago that he had “absolutely no plans” to return to limited business activity to prevent the further spread of COVID-19. And let’s face it, there is only so much a curbside or to-go menu has to offer. And so we can only assume Kevin Stitt is uncomfortable living in a world with closed or restricted businesses because it means living in a world without Chili’s “Top Shelf Margaritas.”

Hayley is also uncomfortable living in a world without Top Shelf Margaritas. Follow her on twitter @squirrellygeek

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47 Responses

  1. “I’m going to protect the freedoms in Oklahoma.”

    No doubt Stitt also disapproves of state laws requiring use of helmets for motorcycle riders and use of seat belts in cars. They take away our “freedoms” too.

    His kids aren’t vaccinated, and he takes them to crowded restaurants unmasked during a pandemic. Do you suppose they ride without seatbelts too? Because freedom?

    If memory serves, Frank Keating raised a ton of money from his rich friends to rehab the Mansion, circa 1995. Like Keating’s dome on the crumbling Capitol, the Mansion improvements must have been mostly for the sake of appearances and not intended to last. Imagine that! It’s a metaphor for state government itself!

    (I visited the Mansion once years ago. It ain’t much, and it ain’t historic. Better to bulldoze it and build something nice than to waste more money on it. You can’t polish a turd.)

    I haven’t had a haircut since maybe January. I’m not getting it cut until it seems a lot safer. It has never been this long before. I might have wanted to let it grow during the hippie era, but I had a job at the time that I wanted to keep.

    1. The last time my hair was this long was 7 Feb 1975. Then a civilian barber in the employment of the Department of Defense working at Ft. Polk, LA introduced me to a comb free style called “buzz cut”. I haven’t been capable of wearing a man bun since. As for the mansion, ditto, bulldoze that heap. A nice double-wide available from any one of the numerous lots on S. Shields would do nicely.

      1. No bulldozing. I’ve posted before regarding the capital building and its repair —
        It would be better to destroy with explosions. Let the movie companies position cameras all over for stock footage. Can you imagine the dome crashing down into a mobile home? Go ahead; Imagine that. Income! Diversification! The movie industry contributes a good bit to our economy – it’s the least we could do.

        “But where would all the politicians go, Steve?”

        Seems there’s a largely empty corporate campus available. More convenient for the lawmakers and lobbyists too.


        Speaking of Chesapeake, they found enough money to provide $25 million in bonuses to their executives just weeks before declaring bankruptcy.

        Out of state (but you get the picture):
        In other oil/fracking news: Whiting Petroleum managed to award $15 million in cash bonuses to its top executives six day before filing notice to share/stockholders that they are screwed. Diamond Offshore Drilling got $9.7 million in the March stimulus bill; declared bankruptcy the next month; then got approval from the bankruptcy judge to pay their executives that same $9.7 million.

        Industry analysts expect another 250 oil and gas companies to fold by year end. In perspective, that’s more than the previous five years combined.

        And no or little maintenance to the thousands of abandoned wells. Uncontrolled flare-offs and straight out methane release to the atmosphere.

        Happy Tuesday, ain’t 2020 a lark!

        1. Steve, 2020 isn’t a lark, but living in Oklahoma damn sure is. Happy tomorrow.

          1. Where to start is endless lunacy. Trumpism is real. The Indian Nation knows how to shut Stitt up. He’s got many lessons to learn in a short time.

    2. Graychin, when speaking of polishing a Turd, we were never able to polish Mary and since Stitt is from the same mold I would think there is no way that he could ever be a polished Turd.

    3. Seatbelts, helmets…I don’t need the government to protect me. I’m an adult.
      Freedom is different from control.

      But if you need a nanny and it works for you then so be it.

      1. Then since you’re an adult, and not a person who’s never matured from being a teenager, that means you wear seat belts and helmets. What does it matter that the government tells you do it if you do it anyway?

        1. The lack of seatbelts and helmets impact the person making the decision to utilize them or not. If I crash without a helmet it’s my life – not anyone else’s.
          If I don’t wear a seatbelt you might see my carcass flying by your car but it otherwise doesn’t affect you.
          Lots of actions people choose to do are bad for them. Where is the line?
          Fatty food? Alcohol? Red meat? Driving to work? Smoking?
          Yes – I wear a helmet even tho it isn’t mandatory because I value my noggin.
          But I prefer it to be my choice in all matters that affect me.
          Never been a fan of the government saying they know what’s best for me (for your own good they say). I’m intelligent enough to weigh risks and make informed decisions on my own thank you.
          They have no interest in me other than my checkbook and my vote.

          1. Please don’t read this as an attack. More as a public service announcement.
            Regarding seatbelts. If you’re alone in the car and you strike something (tire/deer/alien) throwing yourself about losing control; you can enter another lane hitting oncoming traffic or an adjacent car; that impacts others. If someone in the car is unbelted, that person becomes a projectile and often kills the other occupants in a crash when they would otherwise survive. For statistics and video aftermaths google:
            “unbelted passenger hitting other occupants” and follow links.

            Otherwise, I’m onboard with you about over intrusive government in my personal areas of responsibility.

        2. Instant karma’s gonna getcha’, gonna knock ya off your feet. Stitt’s fear list could literally go on beyond the realms of satire. Nuke Lelouch asking Crash whether a certain behavior made him gay in Bull Durham as an example. Stitt kinda reminds me of Nuke, except without the talent.

      2. Masks protect other people more than they protect you. Are you “adult” enough to care about anyone but yourself?

        Masks in a pandemic are a lot like speed limits and drunk driving laws. I wouldn’t mind so much if you are in a one-car drunkover. You claim to be an adult, so that’s on you.

        But when you flout the law and common sense, disregarding the safety of others, you’re more like a self-centered spoiled brat than the adult you claim to be. Didn’t your nanny teach you anything?

        1. Wasn’t talking about masks-
          Or speed limits or drunk driving.
          wTF gray?

        2. Tell me you have never exceeded a posted speed limit, graychin. Or are you the kinda guy that hogs the passing lane and makes sure nobody else is able to take over?
          Also, I sure hope all the self-righteous posters and readers of tlo will never again leave the house unmasked while sick with flu (or potentially sick with it) ever again. Like you’ve done all your life before covid. Ever question how many people you could’ve killed with your flu before?

      3. I’m all for the personal freedom to take risks, as long as the risks affect you alone. If you want to drink, smoke, do flips between levels of parking garages, eat biscuits and gravy every meal, then go for it. You are an adult and the impact of those decisions doesn’t extend far beyond your loved ones.

        But we have lots of laws that are designed to protect other people from the consequences of your actions. Drunk driving laws aren’t really about the person driving drunk, it’s about the innocent bystander they mow over because they equate freedom with stupidity. Being told to wear a mask falls into that category. The mask isn’t about protecting you, it’s about collectively keeping an airborne disease out of the air as best as possible because it has the potential to really, really screw things up for us as a society if we ignore the risks of a pandemic.

        I guarantee if the right hadn’t made this a political issue, no one would have an issue with the prospect of wearing masks to prevent the spread of a pandemic.

        1. Yep. Your right to breath carcinogenic air out ends where my right to breathe in clean air starts. Your right to swing your fist ends where my face starts. Ad infinitum.

        2. Wasn’t talking about masks…

          1. Do you wear a mask when you are out? Or like Gov. Stitt, do you value your “freedom” more. You’re an adult, after all.

            Serious question.

          2. My bad, that’s just the topic dujour when people talk about government overreach in protecting people.

        3. So, if I understand correctly, what is being demanded by the the crowd, is that the Gov. issue a state wide mandate that masks must be worn anytime someone is in outside the home. Anything less than this equates to a total lack of leadership. I think what many forget to take into consideration is that Oklahoma is a very diverse state. What is right for OKC/Tulsa, isn’t necessarily needed in, lets say, Burns Flat. Take Dewey County for instance. There are approx 4,500 residents in the entire county, they’ve had 4 reported cases. A state wide mandate requiring someone to wear a mask in downtown Taloga is not the same as wearing one in OKC. Places like Guymon, with the large processing plant, that’s a different situation. Masks in and around Guymon would be prudent. Rather than a one-size-fits-all govt hammer, the Gov has chosen to allow local authorities to make that decision for themselves. For now, I believe, a prudent choice.
          It would also be wise to remember that the best way to get an American (and an Oklahoman, in particular) to not do something, is talk about having the govt mandate that said thing be done. A good public service campaign, asking the population to help out, would’ve gone a long way. That window has already closed and you can expect both sides to retreat to their corners. Red Sate – “get outta my business!” Blue State – “Government knows best!”

          1. It’s not really that complex. If you’re going somewhere where other people are going to be in close proximity to you, like a store or church, you should have to wear a mask. If you’re going out on your property in rural Oklahoma or hiking a trail or working in the yard, obviously you shouldn’t have to.

            This should be true in Burns Flat as much as central Tulsa. Yes, a small town might not have many reported cases, but they also don’t have enough testing either and, really, it really just takes one person to spread it. You never know when someone from the city stopped by a local gas station on the way to a lake.

            1. Yes, it is that complex. You’re using the power of govt to force compliance on citizens. There’s a big difference between “have to” and “willing to”. Why does South Dakota have a successful record in fighting covid and NY/CA’s record is so abysmal? Cuz there are 2.5x more people living in Brooklyn than in SD, and they live right on top of each other. What’s right for NY/CA isn’t right for OK, which is why those screaming for a national mandate are out of line. I wear a mask everyday, as part of my job, it’s required. I’m ok with that. Also, due to my job, I’m familiar with aseptic technique and how to properly wear a mask and gloves, and I can assure you that more than 50% of those I see, a mask is useless. I live in the city and I don’t go out much. When I do go out, I wear a mask and I distance myself from others. If individual businesses choose to require masks, I have no problem with that. I’m just not prepared to require everyone that decides to pick up a cup of coffee at the Bison Shortstop, in Leedy, OK, wear a mask. The numbers in these areas just aren’t there.

            2. “You’re using the power of govt to force compliance on citizens.”

              How exactly is that different from any other law in the history of civilization? Just curious why speed limits are OK but masks aren’t.

              What I’m trying to say is that when you have an outbreak, the first step to fighting it is prevent it. That’s step 1. The rules of social interaction (social distancing, wear masks, etc.) make sense regardless of setting, whether you’re going to church in rural Oregon or to a club the middle of Miami.

              If you wait for an outbreak to hit an area hard before you take action to try to contain it, then you’ve failed the first step in fighting it. At that point, you pretty much have to move on to the next step, which would be shutting things down. So even though the steps may seen excessive in an area that doesn’t have a huge number of positive tests, it makes perfect sense to take action to make sure they don’t have that surge later on. If you can prevent an outbreak, it’s economically and socially a hell of a lot better than trying to contain and recover from it.

              NYC and SD aren’t fair comparisons for whose fighting it better. They had different fights from the start. And we know there will be fewer cases where there are fewer people, and that diseases spread more where population density is greater. We know that it will take longer to get to rural areas than it will urban areas. That is common sense. But rural areas are less able to deal with the disease in metropolitan areas, so the risk to those people is greater.

              It doesn’t make sense for us to close down the Bison Shortstop, like it might a gym in NYC. It does make sense for us to tell people to wear masks and practice social distancing when they go in.

        4. While I’m all about sanity and being an adult, let’s talk turkey here.
          MASKS are only to prevent the wearer from potentially getting Covid, there is no rationale otherwise. All of this shit about “catching it through a mask”, or on surfaces…or the new idiocy, meat at the supermarket… is unscientific bullshit driven by fear and “stoopid”. How did this go from a harder to detect flu to “Zombie pandemic”?
          Because people believe everything they see on TV and or the internet.
          NO common sense, NO critical thinking- and above all else – NO questioning. the “kill” rate of Covid is almost 2% nationally and 1.7% in Oklahoma. There is ZERO evidence that this virus requires this amount of fear and idiocy in response.
          We could have spent 1/5 of the stimulus money giving the elderly and the immuno-compromised much better PPE, and then quarantined them if need be. The rest of us could be getting on with life. There’s a TON of disinformation afloat regarding this subject. BOTH sides are propagating stupidity out of a fear of “liability”. Do the thing that is most important. Follow the data…but realize that it is suspect due to a misreporting of deaths labeled as Covid. When did intelligence fall off a cliff in this nation?

          1. It’s not a zombie pandemic, but it’s not the seasonal flu.
            It is a lot worse, and the the thing is, there’s still a lot we don’t know (hence why we should likely take it more seriously than we would a seasonal flu outbreak). Yes, the death rate is currently around that (and don’t get me wrong, that’s a very large number of people at risk of death if that winds up being the accurate death rate) and that does affect the elderly and immunocompromized more (but not exclusively).

            The thing is, a virus isn’t just the death rate, it’s also complications. A lot of people are also coming down with permanent heart and lung disease as a result of this. There was an otherwise healthy 20 year old who had to have a lung transplant in Chicago.

            As far as misreporting of deaths goes, is there going to be some? Sure, there always are. Most reported flu deaths don’t actually have flu tests (and the flu itself rarely kills on it’s own). I’m sure it’s also being underreported in some areas as well due to lack of testing. But I doubt there’s this widespread medical fraud going on for the extra COVID money because the risks would not only cost careers and jail time, but could bankrupt health institutions.

            1. It’s not accurate, as we have no idea how many people have had it or been exposed to it. Death rate is significantly less than what’s being reported.
              The thing about masks is that a wearer has to know how to properly wear one. I can guarantee you most people don’t. You’d also need to be exposed to the sick person’s aerosols long enough to catch it. Simply passing an unmasked (potentially sick) person is not going to get you sick. Unless he spits/sneezes in your face or something, but I’m sure it would make for a satisfying twitter karen-esque post.

            2. We don’t know the true death rate, we also don’t know the percent of people who will have serious complications. We know that it can cause permanent heart and lung damage in people it doesn’t kill though (and that we’ve seen those effects in those who aren’t at increased risk of death). We know it can cause strokes. We don’t know how much of a risk either of these things are.

              We don’t know a lot, that’s why overreacting isn’t the worst thing for us to do (that would be nothing, like Sweden tried).

              You are right, most people don’t know how to wear masks properly. I see it every day. Does that make them useless? I don’t know, I still think someone coughing into mask will spread it less than someone coughing not into a mask, because there are fewer aerosols in the air. But hey, we need more info, that’s the entire problem.

          2. No, they are there to reduce the chance that you *give* COVID-19 if you don’t know you have it (you’re coming down with it, you have a very mild case, your body fighting if off effectively, etc.) But just because you don’t know you have it, or aren’t sick, doesn’t mean you still can’t transmit it.

            It’s not about *you*, it’s about other people — your effects on others.

  2. You forgot the most important thing that make Kevin Stitt uncomfortable, Hayley. It’s when the Supreme Court, in particular Neil Gorsuch, throws out a mushroom, fire flower, and super star, to the Five Nations. I’m calling it here that Kevin’s not gonna like the newly empowered, Native Nations.

  3. I thought the state had been working on the mansion for years while Mary was in office. The construction moved Mary’s daughter into a trailer on the grounds which was a code violation and caused all sorts of controversy.

    While it is exceptionally difficult to defend Stitt, have to admit I wouldn’t want to live in any area that had previously occupied by Mary Fallin for eight years unless a lot of cleaning and work had been done. That is probably the big reason he and his family still live in Tulsa and the Troopers drive him to and from work every day on the Turnpike.

  4. Thank the Lard for Kevin, and the protect-ifyin’ of the freedoms Gawd bestow-icated on us.

    Freedom to ignore science. Freedom to spread our deadly diseases among the masses. Freedom to pretend there shouldn’t be such a thing as a social contract between government and the people who are governed. Freedom to continue pretending it’s still 1952 instead of 2020. Freedom to get rich as hell and then buy politicians (ahem, like Kevin and his pals) instead of paying taxes. Freedom to think a cunt like Ted Nugent is “cool.” Freedom to stick noses up the asses of guys like Inhofe and Trump, and inhale deeply the smell of their “great leadership” in hopes of getting a pat on the head and a doggy treat shoved into our waiting mouths by the Great Men.

    Yes, I thank the Lard fortnightly that I live in a place where time stood still after 1952, and I can still hire a crew of Mexican IL-legals to climb up on my roof in the blazing heat of mid-July, thereby saving me many hundreds or even thousands of dollars I’d pay instead if actual ‘Muricans could (or, WTF, would) haul their flabby asses up a ladder AND could negotiate a decent day’s pay via unionization—PLUS there’s the bonus of bitching about the “fact” that the Mexicans are “stealing” “our” jobs!!!

    Is this a great state, or what?

    [sound of crickets chirping]

    1. A fantastic comment, kind of risqué for Oklahoma though!

  5. That wallpaper is actually pretty great.

    1. Yes, like folk art.

  6. When donald thinks you’re stupid you’ve got real problems. kevin is way down on the bobblehead list.

    1. Being considered stupid by Trump is an honor. He thinks that anyone who doesn’t grovel before him Pence-like is stupid, while he alone remains a “very stable genius.”

      Is Dr. Fauci stupid? I don’t think so.

      1. The echo chamber is strong tonight!

  7. What freedom is the barber-college seven dollar haircut talking about. The freedom to infect everyone in the state with this plague while he & that covidiot in the white house get tested daily? What a bonehead.

  8. Stitt is uncomfortable with facts. Stitt is uncomfortable with the truth.

    1. Here’s an uncomfortable fact, an inconvenient truth: Stitt himself has tested positive for the virus. It’s likely that he caught it from another unmasked person, although no one can say exactly when or where.

  9. I am very disappointed in Stitt. He has proven himself to be an absolute moron at times. That’s OK Stitt, we’ll continue to critique your decisions here on TLO. You might have one of your minions scan this website and the comments, assuming they can read.

  10. How about the fact that he actually tested positive for covid?

  11. Tulsa World just posted Stitt tested positive for corona. That could be uncomfortable. Thoughts and prayers.

    1. Imagine that!

  12. 8th thing that should make Stittiot very uncomfortable – possibly being on a ventilator.

  13. Hayley, I’m gonna have to add three more things and bring it up to 11 total for things that make Kevin Stitt very uncomfortable. We’ll go in no particular order. First, Kevin being made fun of on late night TV by Stephen Colbert. Second, Kanye West makes it onto the ballot for the November. As a bonus, enough people vote for Yeezy that Biden wins the state. Is this a great state or what??? Third, Kevin is the first U.S. Governor to get the virus. Imagine that!!!! This is in addition to my earlier comment here about Gorsuch and the Supreme’s empowering the Five Nations and other Native Nations not only in Oklahoma, but around the country as well.

    1. Ooops, forgot to include word election after the word, November.

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