7 items on Kevin Stitt’s Walmart shopping list

Earlier this week, Oklahoma governor and personal responsibility-advocate Kevin Stitt found himself being drug by the internet after he was photographed shopping in Walmart without a mask three days before testing positive for COVID-19. Now in Stitt’s defense, grocery stores have always been considered “essential” services and everyone needs a little something-something from Walmart every now and again. In fact, here are 7 “essential” items Stitt had on his Walmart shopping list.

Ibuprofen

He probably picked this up for the body aches he was supposedly experiencing Tuesday before receiving his positive COVID-19 results. Hopefully the medicine kicked in before his meeting with Lt. Governor Matt Pinnell and other officials Tuesday.

A Physical CD of “Now That’s What I Call Music: Volume 42”

Okay, so this was more of an impulse buy than actual item on his list. With hits such as, “Earthquake” by Labrinth and Busta Rhymes and “Sorry for Party Rocking” by LMFAO, this 2012-era CD easily caught the attention of our unapologetically out-of-touch governor.

Goya

I’m pretty sure this was on every Trump supporters shopping list last weekend.

His Hydroxychloroquine Prescription

Since the state of Oklahoma has already invested $2 million into the anti-malaria drug, even though researchers have very little evidence to support its efficacy in treating COVID-19, Stitt thought he might as well give it a whirl.

Breath Mints

It’s rude enough to spread COVID-19 by holding conversations with constituents and other leaders without wearing a mask. Think of how much worse it would be if Stitt also had stale breath. At least Stitt’s virus particles were spearmint-scented.

 

A 24-Pack of Generic, “Get Well Soon” Cards

Stitt seems to have come into contact with a lot of people before he got his positive test results Tuesday. The least he could do is send a card.

A Copy of a Decision-Making Workbook

The Walmart at Penn & Memorial has many wonderful decision-making books in stock, including, What’s Your Decision? How to Make Decisions with Confidence and Clarity and Make Great Decisions Christian Workbook for Teen Girls. Stitt has plenty of time to do some light reading while in quarantine and God knows he needs to reflect on his decision-making skills.

In all seriousness, we hope for a speedy recovery, Stitt. Follow Hayley on twitter @squirrellygeek

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11 Responses


  1. You forgot two things. A spine and a pair of balls. I’d say three and throw in a brain but looking at Stitt’s sloping brow I’m pretty sure they quit making that model 40,000 years ago.


  2. Hayley, thank you for mentioning once again that the Guv wasted $2 million of Oklahoma taxpayer money on a quack treatment/cure for the virus, hydroxychloroquine, after it was widely promoted by a poorly-informed TV personality.

    Maybe the quack cure won’t go to waste after all. That nut on TV has a lot of followers in Oklahoma who find him to be a lot more credible than that know-it-all, Dr. Fauci.

    By the way, let’s get the schools open ASAP. Science should not stand in the way!


  3. Cover Girl Pancake Makeup


  4. Dang……Kick a man while he’s down. How about a little compassion? Wouldn’t wish that guilt on anyone.


    1. Where’s the compassion for the COVID-19 victims that have died because he wouldn’t put a mask mandate in place or acknowledge that science works? No compassion for Stitt, and Hayley – *you* might wish him a speedy recovery, but there are lots of us included in that “we” that don’t.


    2. I don’t wish Stitt any lasting harm from his illness and I hope that his family stays well, but that’s the only compassion that Stitt deserves. Not an ounce more.

      Stitt pontificated about “freedoms” and “personal responsibility.” Then he took full arrogant advantage of his freedom to go maskless into crowded places, even bringing his kids along for added exposure. He was photographed unmasked hugging defenseless masked waitresses, and caused the temporary closing of their restaurant for disinfection from HIS germs. What “personal responsibility” did he show? None at all that I can detect.

      I think kicking Stitt “while he’s down” is a good lesson in karma – that perhaps will dissuade some of his admirers from mimicking his behavior.


    3. Don’t expect compassion on this site, seems to be a very negative one except when it comes to restaurant reviews.


  5. How about a tube of Brylcream or a big jar of Royal Crown Hair Pomade for that fine ‘do?


  6. LLLLLLOOOOOLLLLL!!!!!

    Get Well Soon Cards!

    My sides are splitting.


  7. You also forgot a jug of Clorox or Lysol for his bedtime coronavirus-prevention cocktail. Oh wait, it’s too late for that. Never mind.


  8. How about an enema bag chock full of Lysol?

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