CRISIS 2020: Oklahoma is facing a coin shortage. Here’s what YOU can do!

Things are getting worse, my friends. Our state is facing a crisis–nay, crises– that are wreaking havoc upon our collective livelihoods and wellbeing. And according to KFOR, we may be our only hope…

OKLAHOMA CITY (KFOR) – A coin shortage is being felt in Oklahoma, and the Oklahoma bankers are calling upon community members to help fix the problem by cashing in their spare change.

The Oklahoma Bankers Association issued a news release calling upon consumers to deposit their spare change at their local bank or coin-cashing machines.

“When COVID-19 restrictions went into place, establishments like retail shops, bank branches, and laundromats—the typical places where coin enters society—closed, it significantly slowed the normal rate of coin circulation,” the news release states.

“If you have spare change, we encourage all Oklahomans to check with their local bank to see if they are accepting rolled coins, use exact amounts when purchasing items, or deposit them in grocery store coin-cashing machines.”

That’s right, my fellow Oklahomans. There is a nation-wide coin shortage. And much like every other crisis that is co-occurring, it’s been left up to the Oklahoma people to work it out for themselves. So my friends, it’s time we take this “personal responsibility” to a whole new level. Here are 5 things YOU can do to help America get its coins back.

Make it Hail at The Red Dog

Next time you go to a local strip club like the Red Dog, put away those dollar bills and make it hail with quarters… for America. Just be polite and don’t hit anyone in the face, as you don’t want to knock out any false teeth.

Hold a Garage Sale

You may think those Reba cassette tapes, Snowman throw pillows, and Bon Jovi “Slippery When Wet” tour t-shirt are all useless junk. But there are many Oklahomans who would gladly pay up to $3 in loose change for a chance to snag them. And by many Oklahomans, I mean me.

Go to Quarter Beer Nights at OKC Cowboys 

Although we’re not sure if coin beer nights are legal anymore (it could be why Graham’s went out of business), you might as well make a trip to OKC Cowboys to see if it’s still around. As pictured above, you can still stay healthy and safe while contributing to the economy and being country as f*ck.

Clean Out Your Car

As someone who has driven a collective 47 miles over the last four months, I can tell you that now is the most important time to clean out your car. Not only will you discover a missing pyrex dish and half-empty coffee mugs you brought home from work in March, but you will also find about $3.42 in quarters and pennies that you can use to pay for the car wash vacuum and a “Black Ice” air freshener.

Dismantle Your State Quarter Map

If you had a grandparent anytime between 1997 and 2004, odds are you were gifted one of those cardboard state quarter maps that were all the rage in infomercials that aired before The Price is Right or after Wheel of Fortune. The map holds 56 coins, which translates to $14 or enough change to buy two handles of Tvarscki Vodka.

Hayley is lucky enough to have TWO state quarter maps. Follow her on twitter @squirrellygeek.

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21 Responses

  1. You have 2 State Quarter maps? Oh, you are a national treasure.

    1. Isn’t that a half-dollar map?

  2. My mother-in-law got deep into the State Quarter craze. She passed some time ago, but her many coin albums are still with us. Some of them are even complete! It seems sad to dismantle them because she worked so hard on them – but maybe that’s our patriotic duty.

    I also have several years of pocket change that has accumulated in cottage cheese tubs, probably several hundred dollars’ worth. The last time I cashed in coins I found a machine that paid out Amazon gift cards, so I got full value for the coins. Now I can’t find a machine like that, and it pisses me off to let the machine take 10% of my stash. That would probably be $20-$30!

    My bank is in San Antonio, so I haven’t been inside a bank in years. Do banks buy back your coins if you don’t have an account with them?

    (I love that face mask for long-neck drinkers.)

    1. The Arvest Bank does, bit if you don’t have an account you may get a service charge. Maybe buy your groceries with your coin stash?

    2. Walfart used to give the full value on a gift card for their store; if you’re a Walmart or Sams shopper. Not sure if they still have the machine, I rarely visit.

  3. Ask everyone you meet “A penny for your thoughts”

  4. I read this, then called my lawyer. “Is there any law against paying legal fees in pennies?”

    He thought about this a moment, then said: “Uh, I don’t really know if—-”

    “Good enough for me, Counselor! I’ll drop by in an hour with a dump truck load o’ legal fees. And thanks for your hard work, getting me 20 years to life instead of a fine on that speeding ticket, F. Lee Bailey. Maybe you shouldn’t have told that stupid joke in court: ‘Hey, Your Honor: didja hear about the two gay judges who tried each other? Huh? Didja?'”

    Oh, well. I don’t have to report to the joint for another couple of months.

    Maybe the virus will be cured by then.

  5. Coin Machine seems kinder (and less Covid-19 exposure) than taking the ol’ swear jar to the bank teller and counting out sticky pennies and nickels. Of course the Coinstars in usually in Walmarts…ugh…maybe go early to avoid gross people..idk.

    Or maybe just buy lots of stuff at vending machines?

  6. I have a crapload of rolled coins stashed away. I haven’t taken them to the bank in a long long time. Now might be the right time.

    I saw a sign in an OnCue recently offering a free drink if you’d exchange a roll of quarters for paper money. They also wanted you to charge everything so no change would be required. I suggested they just round it down to the nearest dollar amount; they didn’t appreciate that idea.

  7. This is just a scare tactic by the Deep State to prepare us for a cashless society……..
    DON’T DRINK THE KOOLAID !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    There is no coin shortage.
    Watch it wil be one and five dollar bills next.
    WAKE UP PEOPLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. She is right! I have seen signs in stores asking customers to pay with cards or phone apps, even though this charges a fee to the store.

      But I expected the first step would be to do away with pennies, as they did in communist Canada.

      1. 4% of the total is the fee charged most generally, My vet was so pissed about having to pay or charge the customer a fee to use plastic he has 2 schedule of pay … Pay the 4% visa (plastic) charges or pay a lower fee if you use Cash or a check ….

      2. I find pennies and dollar bills so tiresome and every time I come back from Canada I have to get used to them all over again after a vacation away from them.

        1. I remember as a child going on a road trip to Washington state with the family and had never seen a Silver Dollar before. If we’d actually had any amount of cash to exchange we could have got all we could load in the car at par to the dollar.
          A decade or so later came the Hunt Brothers Silver debacle.
          Oh the 20/20 hindsight.

    2. There’s no Kool-Aid left to drink. From the way you’re raving, you must have drunk it all yourself. No wonder I can’t find any in the stores!

    3. Jan here’s a news flash. With “Trickle Down Economics” in place for 40 years since Reagan about 70% of Americans could care less if it’s turned into a “cashless” society because they don’t have any cash and really don’t have much hope of ever having any cash.
      At this particular point in time if I have to use my AMEX to buy a Coke at Sonic it will still be Wayyyyyy down on my list of current concerns.

  8. guilty as charged. I have a jar for pennies and a jar for nickles, dimes and quarters… I took 5 handfulls out of the silver jar the other day as I was headed to the Credit union to transfer my unemployment monies… $91.55. Do I have to report this as income to OESC ?

  9. Years ago, I told my husband that it was better to spend currency than coins, since the metal was worth more than the bills. We have been saving coins for decades, and we won’t surrender them, not to Stitt nor Drumpf. Once they take away coins, what’s next? Paper currency, which will soon become obsolete. The government wants to take every last cent from us and declare bankruptcy. They will blame it on anybody but themselves for the debts they haven’t paid off. You think things are bad now? Just wait.

    Keep your piggy banks and coin jars.

    1. Or maybe use them to buy an AK and some ammo?

  10. When I was young I traveled between Canada and New York. Canadian coins back then could be bought for 80% of American dollar so I’d go and grab a bunch of Canadian coins, mix them with USA coins and go to the American bank and exchange them. For a young kid… make a good little profit. That was before coin sorting machines.

  11. Mercy! Don’t hit those girls at the Red Dog with changes. You could do some serious damage. What if a boob popped? it would be like the Murrah Building all over again.

    Oklahomans need not fear a coin shortage. I have enough coins on the bottom of my car to rescue the whole state.

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