Oklahoma County Jail In Need Of Linen Donations

Before we dive into our full slate of clickable, digestible Internet content for this week, I wanted to inform our kind, generous readers that the Oklahoma County Jail – just days after both an accused rapist and murder rappeled 12-stories out of the facility – is facing a sheet shortage and could use some of that famed “Oklahoma Standard.”

If you have any clean linens, sheets, or even some Bed, Beth and Beyond coupons stockpiled in a cabinet, please drop them off at the Oklahoma County Jail anytime this week. They could use them.

Via ABC News:

Two county jail escapees, including a murder suspect, have been arrested after breaking out of the Oklahoma County jail in Oklahoma City early Friday by using sheets tied together to climb down the outside of the building from a 12th floor cell, authorities said.

Pablo Robledo, 34, who was being held on a first-degree murder charge, was found and arrested Friday afternoon in southwest Oklahoma City by city police and U.S. marshals, said jail spokesman Mac Mullings…

Robledo and his cellmate escaped by breaking a window of their cell and climbing down, Mullings said, adding that Robledo was seen on jail security video about 5:25 a.m. outside the jail.

His cellmate, Jose Hernandez, fell or jumped from the makeshift rope around the fourth floor, apparently breaking a leg, before being found and subsequently arrested by Oklahoma City police Friday morning.

Man, I hope none of the other inmates told him to break a leg before the daring escape. If so, I bet they feel really bad!

Obviously, there are a lot of thoughts and questions to unpack here, ranging from “How’d they get so many sheets?” to “Did nobody notice the 100-ft long line of sheets hanging out a cell window?” to “I hope the jail doesn’t use the same company Devon did to make window repairs!”

Of course, the most important question is “WTF are we supposed to do about this debacle of a jail?!?” As any long time OKC resident knows, it’s been cursed dating back to the 1990s, when prisoners escaped via similar methods, and communicated to each other through toilets. The jail still has toilets, right? I know they’ve had plumbing issues, so I guess that’s another question to add to the list.

Anyway, if you know the answer on how to fix our jail, let us know in the comments, and then run for public office, and then win, and then go fix it.