5 other things we’d like to know about Jim Inhofe

2020 has been hard on Oklahomans everywhere, including our esteemed Senator Jim Inhofe. Last week, the Oklahoma Democratic Party call for an investigation into Inhofe’s “ethics” after it was found that defense contractor stock magically made it into his portfolio after the senator had lobbied to Trump to increase defense spending. But you know what? The ODP aren’t the only people who have questions about the senator. So here are 5 other things we’d like to know about Jim Inhofe!

Why did you never return my email in 2011?

In 2011, little baby college freshman Hayley was just becoming “woke” to politics after taking her first college-level political science class. I don’t remember what the hell I asked you in my email, but I do remember not even receiving a generic staff-written response in return. I am still salty about it 9 years later.

Do you really do your own stunts?

Real question, because you’ve gotta have a lot of metaphorical balls to potentially endanger the lives of construction workers by landing a plane on a closed runway and fly upside down to prove your electability or whatever.

Do you even read the bills you vote against?

Because tweeting about eating cheeseburgers in protest of the Green New Deal makes as much sense as using a snowball to attempt to counter a scientific consensus on global warming. Speaking of which…

Where’d you get your sno-cone machine?

There’s a tiny sno-cone shack sitting outside of my neighborhood that’s generally open from Memorial Day to Labor Day, but COVID-19 sadly seems to have shuttered it this season. That being said, I haven’t had a Salty Frog all summer and I am a salty broad for it. That “snowball” you presented on the Senate Floor was a little too white and round, so I’d really like to know where’d you get your sno-cone machine.

How much did you get for your soul?

From slaughtering pigeons for sport and voting against disaster relief after Hurricane Sandy, to going to a grocery store maskless during a global pandemic to buy a case of Corona beer the same month that he voted against a COVID-19 federal relief package, it seems like somewhere along his 53 years in public office Inhofe must have lost his soul. It also seems like Inhofe has spent a lot of tax-payer funded visits doing “a Jesus thing” in Uganda and hanging out with Doug Coe of the Fellowship Foundation, so maybe he’s trying to earn some brownie points back with the lord.

Hayley traded her soul for Alice Cooper tickets. Follow her on twitter @squirrellygeek

Support Local Media

Help keep The Lost Ogle in business. Join the TLO Membership Club today for only $5 a month!

New Stuff

15 Responses

  1. Never had a soul to begin with!

  2. Inhofe is a waste of time and space.

  3. What age do they take pilots licenses away from them?

    1. I believe that as long as a doctor signs off on his medical certification, he gets to keep it.

      1. Maybe God will pull it. We can only hope!

    2. My brother who was a 30 year navy pilot and then a private pilot, voluntarily gave up his pilots license when he felt he was to old to fly safely, in his case age 65. He mentioned to me that the good Senator should have given up his long ago, after one of his botched landings. My brother is a Republican by the way.

  4. Why would Satan buy a soul that he always owned?

    1. You have it backwards, my brother: Inhofe bought Satan’s soul.

      That’s the chain of command.

  5. National embarrassment. Of course we do have the first governor to catch the virus.

    Double National Embarrassment? (that’s putting it kindly)

  6. I’d like to know if he charges his Depends expenses to his office account.

  7. In the dismal tradition of other GOP crooks of note like Tricky Dicky & Spiro Agnew, Jimmy Inhoof was in town today to promote his law & order agenda (as long as it never touches him or his sleazebag comrades in the Senate) . Kelly “Mister Know It All” & Jim “The Redneck Cracker” were no doubt thrilled.

    1. I thought Senator Jim Inhofe was a war era hero pilot? That’s kinda what his TV ad implies and he portrays. He was drafted and served 2 years as an Army clerk from 1957-1959. He doesn’t mind controlling flood water at Grand Lake, military funding and common sense while defending the Confederacy? Senator Inhofe is seldom wrong about anything. Just ask him. Thank you for your service Senator Inhofe.
      Abby Broyles for Senate 2020

  8. I would like to know who the stupid ass people are that keep voting this senile-ass lunatic in. Inhofe voters should be required to pass a mental competence exam every time they vote for the goofy bastard.

    1. Probably the same people that claim Biden is too old and senile, though Biden is 8 years younger.

  9. Term limits, please!

Comments are closed.

We encourage engaging with our content, however we ask that you follow our Comment Policy. Learn more.

Join the Club.

Become a Member

Help keep The Lost Ogle in business. Join the TLO Membership Club today for only $5 a month!

You may also like...