10 boat names we’ll see at the “Lake Eufaula Trump Boat Parade!”

Hot damn and hell yeah, my fellow Oklahomans! It’s about time for a 3-day weekend. This Labor Day, instead of spending your holiday cooped up inside “sheltering-in-place” from a global pandemic, ring in the last unofficial weekend of summer by celebrating your got-dang American right to rally behind your president! This Saturday, pack the ice and join your brethren at the Lake Eufaula for the Trump Boat Parade. I’m sure there will be a lot to take in at the rally, including some cool people, creative decorations, and clever boat names. In fact, here’s 10 boat names we’ll probably see at the Lake Eufaula Trump Boat Parade!

“The Row-publican”

It’s quite the “party” barge.

“Naught-y Woman”

This boat is probably owned by a 62-year-old divorced guy from Shawnee. Originally, he wanted to name the boat after Trump’s signature insult/his ex-wife by calling it the “Naught-sy Woman.” However, that seemed to allude too much to a certain fascist party. Speaking of which…


This boat owner firmly believes that their granddaddy didn’t fight the Nazis in dubya-dubya-two so some snowflake could join Antifa.

“The P-Grabber”

Naturally, this will be a catboat that’s fully stocked with Tic Tacs. It wall draw women in like magnets.

“The Sub-Poena”

For a vessel that was crafted to stay hidden, nobody was surprised to see it tag along with the parade.

“The Derpy”

Thisboat will be immediately identifiable by the Q-Anon flag and biblical quotes engraved on the side. You’ll also see several Oklahoma politicians on it.

“OK. Stitt Six”

Named in honor of his half-dozen children, the SS. Stitt Six is ready to set sails! Who can blame our esteemed governor for wanting to hang loose for a weekend filled with fellow Trump enthusiasts? He’s already survived COVID-19 and hasn’t made a public attempt to brownnose his president in at least 42 days.

“The Hipster Boo Boo”

Sorry. That’s the oldest boat photo in our archive and we had to use it. It actually wouldn’t surprise to see Christina Fallin at the event wearing a headdress to own the libs. She did get fired by Trump.

“Stormy Set-Sails”

This boat may be a rental, but it can take a pounding when the waters get rough.

“Oar More Years”

This vessel is the boat version of those Trump merchandise trailers that have been plaguing gas station parking lots all over Edmond for the last few weeks. It would proudly lead the hoard of Trump supporters in the boat parade! But sadly, it’s without a paddle.

If Hayley had a boat, she’d name it the “John Sea-na.” Bet you didn’t see that coming. Follow her on twitter @squirrellygeek

Support Local Media

Help keep The Lost Ogle in business. Join the TLO Membership Club today for only $5 a month!

More The Lost Ogle News

16 Responses

  1. How’s about Titanic Two?

  2. How about “Eufala Trump or Die”.

  3. Co-vid Cruiser.

  4. Covfefe Cruiser

  5. At last we have proof that, like trickle-down economics, a rising tide lifts all yacht owners. But if you get flooded, you’re on your own. Personal responsibility and all that.

    If you are “anti-antifa,” does that logically make you a fascist?

    The Trump Flotilla has sailed successfully through Stormy weathers before, several times, so it should be ready for anything that Oklahoma can deliver.

    In that pic of Trump firing Christina, what the hell is that tapestry in the background? It looks like one of those half-goat, half-man mythical critters. In Trump World it seems fitting, doesn’t it?

    1. Yes it does and it blows my mind as well that the GOP is bragging about being pro fascist. WTF is that all about? Proves without a doubt they absolutely know their supporters can be sold anything by Fox News.
      Wouldn’t be surprised in the least if some of the screamers lost a parent or relative to Hitler’s Army.
      “Sympathy for the Devil” playing in the background.

  6. The USS SS.

  7. Forrest named his boat the Jenny, after the girl he truly loved. I don’t know that Trump loves anybody in the traditional sense, but a boat owner could honor their president by naming their boat after the woman Trump is most sexually attracted to…the Ivanka.

  8. Golden Stream

  9. Imagene Thet!

    The Oklahoma education boat

  10. The SS COVID-19 intubate.

  11. SS Grab them by the @*%%!

  12. Wow. I initially read the entire article thinking it was just some
    imaginary goofy event made up by the author for the sake of satire.
    But then I clicked on the link and discovered it’s a real happening.

    1. Truth is often stranger than fiction. Or, “You can’t make this stuff up.”

  13. Stellar punny boat names here, Hayley. A++!

    I will be disappointed if there are no boats with these actual names at the boat parade. I didn’t know boat parades were a thing but I guess they are now.

  14. So good to see Hipster Boo Boo with boyfriend/fiancé No. ? Haven’t seen or heard from her in a while, wonder what rock she slithered under?

Comments are closed.

We encourage engaging with our content, however we ask that you follow our Comment Policy. Learn more.

Join the Club.

Become a Member

Help keep The Lost Ogle in business. Join the TLO Membership Club today for only $5 a month!

You may also like...