Here’s a story from Oklahoma that even Joe Exotic would think is nuts!
Earlier this week, the happily married couple pictured above – Bobby Lee Allen, 53, and Thomas Evans Gates, 42 – were arrested after they botched a “surgical procedure” at their makeshift black-market castration clinic located in the backwoods of eastern Oklahoma.
That sentence, on its own, is enough to make this story a typical “Only in Oklahoma” classic, but as you know, we’re in 2020, and nothing is typical anymore.
After interviewing the patient who voluntarily sought out the surgery, and following a search of the pair’s property, authorities discovered that Allen and Gates – who apparently ran their clinic under the online name “The Eunuch Maker” – allegedly saved the discarded body parts (a.k.a. testicles) of their patients/victims in a deep freezer for possible human consumption.
Yeah, that’s right. They would allegedly eat the discarded human testicles. In the eastern part of the state, I think they’re called Kiamichi Oysters.
Here are some details via The Oklahoman_:
The 28-year-old victim had flown from Virginia to Dallas and then was driven to the cabin in southeast Oklahoma for the surgery, a sheriff’s deputy reported in a court affidavit. The victim had made contact with Allen through a website while searching online about castrations and related terms…
The victim reported Allen claimed to have 15 years of experience and that he “videos the procedures for personal use,” according to the affidavit. The victim also reported “Allen told him that the surgery wouldn’t cost him anything.”
The victim told investigators that Allen performed the removal Oct. 12 on a covered makeshift table at the residence and that Gates helped by handing over the surgical equipment, according to the affidavit. The victim said he was awake for the two-hour surgery after being injected “in the needed areas.”
The victim “stated that after the surgery was over that Allen said that he was going to consume the parts and laughed and said that he was a cannibal,” according to the affidavit. The victim also said that Allen then talked about “the time he worked on someone that he described to be crazy and that he left the male opened up to die overnight.”…
He told medical personnel that the two men “tried to get him to participate in cannibalism,” according to the affidavit.
In all fairness to Allen, what surgeon hasn’t joked around with a patient and told them they’re going to eat their body parts following a surgery? That’s Bedside Manner 101!
“Okay, slowly count backward from 10. Also, would you prefer we sautee the gallbladder, or toss it in the slow cooker?”
If you want, you can read all the disturbing details about the case over at The Oklahoman.
But if you’re really brave or bored, and don’t want to wait for a Netflix documentary about them, you should check out Allen and Gates’ totally public Facebook pages. Allen’s has the most content.
From vacation pics…
To private moments…
To cringey photos documenting how their mysterious sausage gets made…
It provides a disturbing yet fascinating look into the private lives of these insane cannibalistic castrators.
Anyway, I guess we’ll continue to follow and or monitor this story and provide any updates. Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
Man, this story is nuts!
Um, Ick.
Okay – so this is disgusting and disturbing and is the news equivalent of shock and awe. I would say it’s “NSFW” if I was not working from home. Let’s have some tasteful parameters on what news is covered.
At a minimum, the inclusion of the pictures was unnecessary. This is the type of coverage that makes me not want to click on lost ogle stories, which are usually informative and/or amusing.
It’s perfect fodder for TLO!
Maybe so but this type story brings out the comments that not informative but usually funny as Hell so what’s your point?
PS: Personally if I had to choose between pictures of the guy fries or pictures of those two shitbirds it would have been a coin toss.
Well, they did apply some level of medical procedure. I just gnaw.
I assume your website offers free mastectomies.
“at their makeshift black-market castration clinic”
So, just out of curiosity, is there really such a thing as a “legitimate, main street castration clinic”?
What a eunuch story!
Dear God… I have no more words.
When the sheriff opened the fridge and saw the contents, he declared, “Dang, I thought you guys were just crazy, but I can clearly see your nuts!”
Perhaps Patrick meant to name these delicacies “Kiamichi oysters,” after the Kiamichi mountain range near the home of these gentlemen in Wister, way down there in Le Flore County.
Googling “Kimichi” brings up lots of hits that involve Korean food. I know nothing about Korean food, but that name doesn’t deem to fit this kind of “mountain” oysters.
Let’s also specify that all this happened deep in SOUTHeast Oklahoma, aka Little Dixie, which is a world away from my home in far NORTHeast Oklahoma. My corner of the state has plenty of craziness of its own. We don’t need to be associated with the stuff that goes on way down there any more than the OKC Metro does.
Why have yourself castrated? Perhaps religious fanaticism:
“And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.” – Jesus
“In the castration, they face felony counts of conspiracy to commit unlicensed surgery, performing unlicensed surgery, maiming and assault and battery with a dangerous weapon. They also face a misdemeanor count of failure to bury the removed parts.”
The Le Flore County DA is very creative, isn’t he?
KIAMICHI. It’s Kiamichi. Don’t ruin a good joke with bad spelling!
Florida Man needs to step up
Imagine that?
Reminds me of an old joke about bullfights with the punchline “Sometimes the bull wins.”
What is this world coming to? Louis is writing an exercise journal and Patrick is writing food reviews……it’s madness.
This story covers it all: food, medical, ball exorcising … what more could you ask for?
Doing this sure takes a lot of balls.
Really, they’re not all that bad with fava beans and a nice Chianti.
I knew it. 1st they said it was safer to band the sheep. Then they said band the bull calves. What are you going to do? I’m not sure I even trust the “Cattlemen’s now?
Cannot imagine there would be much demand or appetite for this procedure. Figure the couple recruit candidates from Incel web sites.
ELEVATOR PITCH: It’ll kill in the ratings! Catch the vision: a guy flies to Oklahoma to have his nads cut off. And who does the cutting? Some whack job from Texas! And then—get this!—they FREEZE the guy’s nuts with the idea of eating them later!
PRODUCER: Wait, the guy freezes his nuts off? Like, in the Arctic?
ELEVATOR PITCH: No, he voluntarily flies to darkest Oklahoma to have his nuts CUT OFF, and they video the festivities, and then they put the guy’s nuts in the freezer!!!! Because later they want to eat them!
PRODUCER [confused]: I don’t get it. If they want a snack, why don’t they just buy some egg rolls or some pizza rolls, or some shit? Why do they want to eat a guy’s goddamned nuts? And why does the guy want his nuts cut off by THOSE nuts, who want to EAT his nuts? Instead of just keeping his nuts? I don’t see this thing doing better than maybe Number 75 in the ratings, and it’ll probably get yanked after the first four episodes. I can’t green-light this shit!
ELEVATOR PITCH: I already got Donald Trump for the lead role—he said he’d have time after Biden gets inaugurated.
PRODUCER: Now THAT’S good casting! You got yourself a deal, Bubba!
So, Hannibal Lecter is not a fictional character after all. He and his bestie are plying the family business in BF Oklahoma. What next I wonder?
Why is anyone seeking out this “procedure” though?
Is this a great state or — WHAT?
The stupid criminals, horrible drivers, and “characters” in Oklahoma make this state the landlocked version of Florida.
Gross
I dare say the combined IQ of these numbnuts is equal to their total number of teeth.
We’re actually building the first flying autonomous transport vehicle down here, while you’re not looking. You can get order calf fries at any Italian restaurant.
Why not put them to good use and line up all of the child molesters taking up space in prison..
Gives a whole new meaning to “corndogs are ready!”.