Norman’s Netflix Street Lights Are Beyond Basic

Earlier this year, entertainment conglomerate Netflix chose Norman as one of six American cities to get a Main Street holiday makeover, promising an orgasmic yuletide euphoria for Christmas starved residents across Oklahoma:

So, as I stood in front of Peters and Main in Downtown Norman this weekend, my mouth was naturally agape. Not in a winter wonder, mind you, but instead in a blitzkrieg blunder as scenic as your friend’s Festivus Pole:

As cars lined up the one-way street, part of me had to wonder if their bill hadn’t been paid that month. While it looked like a decent-enough scene for Norman—at least that scant block did—I’m guessing that whatever chills and thrills the block was supposed to have, filled with lights and ornaments and whatnot, was, to be honest, kind of plain.

To hear Annahlyse Meyer, the City of Norman’s Chief of Communications Director tell it, however, the city was seemingly excited to be chosen, the fresh aire of making holy grounds out of sacrilegious salt was all over them and their children. From KFOR:

“The City provided traffic control during the installation process but there are not currently any traffic control devices in place. The whole street is open. The traffic issue seems to be related to a higher than average number of people driving through the area to see the lights. We’ve had a very positive reaction from business owners and residents on Netflix’s installation. Many businesses from the Downtowner’s Association tell us they’ve had a significant increase in business and foot traffic.” 

The traffic when I went last Saturday evening was packed but wholly manageable, as was the foot-traffic as I walked along the concrete steps of the place. While there, I noticed the usual disregard of college kids and younger out and about, laughing and making jokes at the expense of the city, but, to be fair, that was mostly unavoidable.

But, still, the majority of gawkers were hanging out of their cars, trying to catch the momentary cool that their city was chosen by a heartless corporation they pay untold sums of every year for something that could be called quality programming. And while I still use my ex-wife’s account, even I was momentarily at a loss for words when under the electric stars.

Just as soon as it began, sadly, it was over, both sides of the street decked out as best as Norman could be, especially during this trying time.

As I made it back to my significant other’s car, about a block down from the lights, I saw a small shop with the most beautiful illumination possible; it was the Norman outpost of Guestroom Records and it was truly beckoning to me.

I was in there for exactly seven and a half minutes, a promise kept to a loved one.


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13 Responses

  1. A big fat Netflix commercial for the common folk. The Oklahoma promise of greatness: all we get is a drumroll and someone cuts a silent one.

    1. :::and someone cuts a silent one.:::

      Silent, albeit deadly.

  2. Does anyone know what Netflix’s criteria for awarding these holiday makeovers was?

    Perhaps need-based, like some college scholarships.

    1. Our covidiot mayor probably called and begged.

      1. you don’t understand the proper usage of the term covidiot. Unlike the spineless covidiot “leadership” at the state and most local levels, Mayor Clark respected science and was proactive and the citizenry are better off for it.

        1. I agree!!!

      2. Our mayor is doing a great job. Are you a part of untie Norman???

        1. nope. she’s an idiot:

          or just plain corrupt.

  3. For real, who’d they get decorating tips from? Melania Trump? It’s soulless.

  4. I wanted to like it but once I saw it in person it totally sucked ass. I could’ve taken a few hundred bucks and a handful of people to donate their time and done a more professional job. I think Norman got pranked.

  5. Thanks, Louis. Haven’t bothered to drive the mile & a half to see it. You saved me a trip.

  6. I didn’t feel like dicking around in traffic to look at it. I don’t have a Netflix sub (admittedly I sort of regret that because there is some stuff on there I want to see–‘Tiger King’ not being among them. Sorry, don’t care). I saw the display at a time when it wasn’t quite dark but the lights were on. It looked pretty “meh” and don’t think I didn’t notice the names of Netflix programs in the lights. Just commercialism and public relations. Ho-ho-hum.

  7. Well, at least it shows there is some form of creative life down there even if it is tiny.

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