Welcome back to our update of the ultimate garbage fire known as 2020! We will tell our mutant grandchildren about this year while living in a hovel and eating old cans of cold beans that have botulism after whatever cataclysms that will surely befall us occur.
June brought us the brutal murder by police of George Floyd, right in the midst of the Black Lives Matter demonstrations. This stoked an even bigger wave of protests, because a cop decided that it was appropriate to kill a man because they were suspected of using a counterfeit $20 bill to buy cigarettes. ACAB.
Here’s what happened in the TLOverse:
Date: June 1, 2020
What We Said: “The fact that Jim was making biased assumptions and working with police to help identify people he deemed suspicious shouldn’t be a shocker. He does the same thing while covering severe weather and police chases. Plus, he is flying Bob Mills Sky News 9. If you remember correctly, Bob Mills was a co-chair of Trump’s campaign. We should feel lucky that Jim didn’t call all the protesters thugs and start squirting pepper spray on them from above.”
What We Learned: The local media is largely more concerned with aligning with cop bootlickers than covering these protests accurately. All the ones I’ve attended have been peaceful and non-violent, until the police show up with teargas and rubber bullets.
What We Said: “To say the event was anti-climatic and over-hyped would be a colossal understatement. Although 6,500 people gathering in an arena during a pandemic to listen to a celebrity politician rant is still impressive, the event was billed by Trump, twitter bots and the media as some sort of WWE Raw meets Contagion meets V for Vendetta meets Woodstock monster truck rally, and thankfully failed to live up to that hype.”
What We Learned: I have finally come around into believing Tulsa is the cultural capital of Oklahoma. It’s a battle I’ve fought for years, but this Trump rally really proved it to me.
Date: June 15, 2020
What We Said: “Gundy’s glowing show of support of a right-wing cable propaganda channel that peddles alt-right conspiracy theories doesn’t sit too well with some of his players. Earlier today, star OSU running back who should have turned pro – Chuba Hubbard – sent a tweet stating that he was done with OSU “until things CHANGE.”
What We Learned: Coach Gundy is quite the bass man.
Right Wing Cowboy Sheriff Is Forming A Posse
Date: June 10, 2020
What We Said: “That’s nice. When I observe all that is happening in the world today, the first thing that pops in my head is “Hey, what if we had an unregulated volunteer band of ex-cops, doctors and veterinarians ready to “safeguard” lives and property with only a minute’s notice.” Seriously, I’m sure these people have the best of intentions and will always show good judgment when they… uhm… what exactly is this posse supposed to do?”
What We Learned: I’m all about defunding the police, but maybe having a bunch of vigilantes with Dirty Harry fetishes and pistols isn’t the solution?
Date: June 29, 2020
What We Said: “Back in earlier days of the Internet, Linda probably would have become an overnight Internet sensation, received shame, praise and tongue-in-cheek adulation by the blogosphere, and went on Tosh.0 for a Web Redemption where she’d grade a high school Spelling Bee while shotgunning beers and doing keg stands.”
What We Learned: Look, most of the world, if they are fortunate enough to have a job, are working from home. Linda can have a fucking beer on her Zoom call, it’s a pandemic.
Stay tuned this week for more TLO memory-holes!