7 Bible verses we’ll probably see Oklahoma politicians tweet this week…

Yesterday’s attack on Capitol Hill by a pro-Trump mob seems to have been nothing short of an act of domestic terrorism. Many of the attackers appeared to have been trying to stop the certification of Biden’s win and intimidate congress members. The severity of the insurrection became even more apparent when pipe bombs were found outside of both the Republican and Democratic National Committee headquarters. The rioting led to a delay in the Electoral College count, which, after hours of upheaval, eventually officially named Biden the president-elect.

While most of Oklahoma’s congress members have claimed that the results of the 2020 election are due to widespread voter fraud and that they would be challenging the Electoral College vote, not one has voiced support for the insurgence on social media. Instead, here are 7 bible verses we’re probably going to see our lawmakers tweet this week.

James Lankford

“But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.” Luke 6:27

Originally, Lankford was going to pull out Ephesians 6:11, asking followers to, “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.” But thankfully before the tweet left his drafts, Lankford realized that the aggressors were likely on his side because they were also voicing intent to undermine the electoral college vote yesterday. So, to save face with his voter base while not being accused of sedition, he went with Luke 6:27 instead.

Markwayne Mullin

“And the great dragon was thrown down, that ancient serpent, who is called the devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world—he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him.” Revelation 12:19

Markwayne choosing this verse really didn’t have anything to do with yesterday’s insurrection. In his defense, he was looking for an applicable verse to post. But this one just sounded too badass to pass over.

Stephanie Bice

“I Wash My Hands of It.” Matthew 27:24

Bice wants us to remember that though she has been perpetuating the unfounded belief that there was widespread voter fraud and was only voting to challenge the electoral college votes out of principle, in no way does she condone yesterday’s revolt.

Frank Lucas

“For rebellion is as the sin of divination, and presumption is as iniquity and idolatry.” 1 Samuel 15:23

Lucas was quick to condemn the rebellious violence at the capitol yesterday and will reinforce his statement by tweeting this verse from 1 Samuel…even though he seems to have voted in the interest of the capitol attackers.

Jim Inhofe

“2 Big Macs with fries, extra large Dr. Pepper. And a couple of those apple pie things.”

Jim got his lines crossed while trying to text his staffer his lunch order. Somehow this ended with him tweeting what he wanted from McDonalds and forwarding an entire PDF of the book of Mark to some intern.

Author’s note: Inhofe has been vocal about his intention to NOT challenge the Electoral College vote. 2021 is wild already.

Kevin Hern

“It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.” Proverbs 21:19

On Twitter Hern spends more time hurling insults at female members of congress than saying anything of substance during other national crises, so why would this time be any different?

Tom Cole

“Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.” Hebrews 13:17

Tom Cole is allowed to advocate for the overturn of the election results and condemn the violence on the capitol…even if it looks like he was feeding the doubt in the electoral process that seemed to have inspired the violence to begin with. We just need to trust that Cole is making the best decisions for us constituents as possible. I am not sure if this verse is would be an encouragement or a threat.

I love satire as much as I love America. Follow Hayley on twitter @squirrellygeek and become a contributing member of TLO here.

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12 Responses

  1. Are you sure someone wont’ cite John 2:15 and claim that these fascistic, traitorous insurrectionists weren’t just cleansing the Temple of Democracy?

  2. I miss Kendra.

  3. So does this mean that Lankford gets to be the Chaplain of the Sedition Caucus?

  4. Damn Bice’s husband is still spreading cream cheese on that bagel.

  5. This is so bad I can’t even joke about it. They all should be tried for sedition. These self serving would be fascists stirred up the deplorables until this attempted coup was inevitable. Lankford speaking after the fact, when it should have been easy to say “I was wrong “, stumbled around trying to walk that tightrope between doing the right thing and placating the crazies. The big question is, “Is this the bottom?” or do we get more insanity from these deranged white nationalist thugs. So much for that shining city on the hill. Treason, that’s what happened yesterday.

    1. Yeah, the politicians created the powder kegs by filling them with lies and anger, they told them to fight, and left them in an empty field with only a few police separating them from the very thing they told them to fight for.

      Then they get to act surprise and shocked that it became a crazy riot while Trump has to be begged to tell them to go home.

  6. Markwayne was up there making sure all the Proud Boys shirttails were tucked in properly.

  7. “He who troubles his own house shall inherit the wind.”–Proverbs, chapter 11

  8. “Don’t shit where you eat” – me 2021

  9. “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? Every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore by their fruits you will know them.” – Matthew 7:15-20

    At the Capitol, we saw some exceptionally nasty fruit of Donald Trump’s presence in DC. It made me think of what happened to the Reichstag in 1933.

    January 6, 2021: a date that will live in infamy.

  10. “The LORD spoke to me with his strong hand upon me, warning me not to follow the way of this people. He said: “Do not call conspiracy everything that these people call conspiracy; do not fear what they fear, and do not dread it.” (Isaiah 8:11–12, NIV84)

  11. JOHN 11:35 KJV “Jesus wept.”

    After listening to this bunch of narcissistic, self serving, human fecal matter we call politicians ( minus Jim Inhofe … How bad is when Inhofe is the moral compass of your party — YIKES).

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