Crazy Carol Hefner now DMing random Facebook commenters!

Yesterday afternoon, when news came out that President Joe Biden was making the predictably partisan move to halt construction of the divisive and controversial Keystone Pipeline, our local congressional delegation’s PR flack machine was fully armed and ready to pounce with their tried, true, and incredibly tired talking points.

For example:

Wow. Reading that kind of felt like watching some streaming show from the early parts of last decade, only not as enjoyable. It’s nice to see our society return so fast to its old toxic levels of distorted partisan political rhetoric before the next Civil War.

Inhofe’s post got the attention of a local woman by the name of Ambia Cail. The self-described “Martha Stewart wannabe” fired off this comment to let Senator Senile know how she feels:

By Facebook comment standards, that’s a pretty fair and, overall, benign comment. In fact, I’d say it’s a viewpoint shared by a majority of Oklahomans on both sides of the political aisle. You only have to go through five or ten or twenty oil busts to know that having an economy totally dependant on extracting a currently over-supplied natural resource that, oh by the way, is contributing to the environmental destruction of our planet, probably isn’t the best economic plan. It’s good to have multiple industries and sectors supplying jobs to your state.

Well, that is unless you’re an insane partisan racist troll lizard who lives in an alternate world where sanity, reality and brain cells don’t exist. You know, a world populated with people like deranged OKC Socialite Crazy Carol Hefner.

Not too long after Ambia left her comment, she received an unsolicited DM from Carol – someone she claims to have never met or interacted with – to “educate” her on the importance of oil in our world. Because Ambia is awesome, she sent the hilarious conversation our way.

Check out this insanity on display:

Holy shit! 6:11pm and she’s messaging people she doesn’t know about Lee Press-On “Mails” and plastics? How much fracking fluid has this woman sucked out of the Hefner family wine cellar since her Insurrection Day Watch Party? Did she pass out watching The Graduate while her son Robert Spaulding Hefner The Vth was giving her a pedicure in the family garden? Maybe Carol thought Ambia was short for Ambien and she could barter some Galiyucko sauce for her happy-happy sleepy time pills.

Thanks to Ambia apparently being a world-class troll slayer, the conversation gets better. Here’s the rest of the thread:

Yeah, I’m not sure Ambia is the one that needs to be using her brain here. Then again, I am pretty sure that Ambia is the only one in the conversation who had one.

Anyway, I guess this should serve as a warning to everyone out there that if Carol Hefner is one of your “friends moms,” she may be monitoring your Facebook comments, and ready to educate you on all the ways oil affects our lives… after apparently spending half the day huffing cheap gasoline. If so, take some screenshots and send them our way.

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39 Responses

  1. Don’t you just love rich. Trump-loving Republicans who tell you they are “educating” you? Can you say “OXYMORON”?!

    Well, sure hope Ms. Hefner finds her way back to the red tribe. Many a Republican who heard the call of President Trump and showed up at our nation’s Capitol on 6 January are in need of money for their defense funds. Perhaps she can start a Prison Ministry for Incarcerated Republicans, or, better yet, give those patriotic lady felons boxes of press on nails for prison life.

    1. ::: Can you say “OXYMORON”?!:::

      Leave the “oxy” part out and I think we’re talking about the same Carol.

  2. Ambia rocks!

    (Yes, Carol, we know that some rocks contain petroleum that can be fractured and turned into a Magic Sparkle press-on nail.)

  3. That’s some world-class trolling by our friend Ambia. Martha Stewart should wanna be HER!

    I just read an interesting op-ed with the premise that it’s not going to be enough to build our democracy back – that we need to FINISH building it. Because whenever America takes a step in the direction of more democracy and away from control by the ruling elite, we get pushback from the ruling elite. Sometimes harsh and even violent pushback. That this struggle has been going on ever since the git-go in America. Carol whatsername is a fine example of a bit of pushback from the ruling elite.

    Of course not even the most extreme environmentalists want the complete elimination of oil production. But if we leave some in the ground for now, future generations will always be able to have press-on “mails.” (Drunk-tweeting?) It’s heartless for us to want to use it all in our lifetimes, just to make the rich like this Carol person even richer.

    (Since I don’t have a Twitter account, I actually had to look up “DM.” Of course it stands for Direct Message in this context (duh), but the Urban Dictionary also defines it as “Dick Move.” Also appropriate in Carol’s context.)

  4. Carol Hefner is one of those poor people that would lose their fluckin minds if you took that phone away from them. Get the woman some string and beads and let her make bracelets, or maybe crosses out of old pallets. Use your brain Carol.

  5. I would suspect that was drunk messaging.

  6. Not looking to offend any OKC socialites – but being at the top of the OKC Socialite List…isn’t that something of a dubious honor? I mean it’s a step up from being a top Enid Socialite or a top Altus Socialite. But not by much. Sort of akin to being the coolest kid in the chess club?

    1. She’s a “Big Fish in a slimy little stagnant pond”

  7. every thing made out of oil can be produced with marijuana

    1. Hemp but most get the point. Not to discount it will give farmers more money but the oil barons never really liked that idea.

  8. Around six thousand products are made with oil or natural gas. Try living without all of them.

    1. For most of human history, we lived in contented ignorance of plastics. Now, we’ll never be able to live without them because they fill our oceans and landfills now and for the rest of time.

    2. No one is suggesting that we should “live without” stuff made from oil or gas. Literally no one.

      Is that really your best argument?

    3. No problem, sounds like what you fairytale nutjobs call a “blessing”. Follow up question, does that mean we will also be living without all the cancers caused by oil and oil byproducts?

    4. IS that a strawman or a hasty generalization fallacy, Pon Randy? I’m kinda rusty

      1. It’s a fact.

    5. It seems like the point the person was making is that Oklahoma would benefit from diversifying its economy, not that we should cease all oil drilling and exploration. You seem to be responding to something no one said, if they did say it and I missed it, please point it out to me.

  9. I guess if you’re a hoity-toity socialite, you think it’s classier to say “stick-on mails” than “postage stamps”.

  10. I think the intelligence in the Hefner family (both Robert and his “lovely” wife Carol) resides at the bottom of the lake that bears their family name.

    Oil is dead in this state. Read that again. It’s not going to come back to the prominence it had in the early aughts. They took all they could to sell at high price in order to fund their lake homes and F150s. When the bust came they had nothing to show for it. They didn’t have foresight or plans for if the big boom was to suddenly deflate. Like Aubrey, the industry here in Oklahoma took a left turn at the tunnel entrance.

    They are now really scared about what is going to happen to their power, influence, and wealth. They didn’t diversify, they thought things were going to always be profitable for them. With the new presidential administration in D.C., they are shaking in their boots and already assigning blame. Which is odd because if you look at the past 10 months, oil took a dive way earlier because of a pandemic and foreign petroleum powers both of which were part of the previous presidential administration that was in power for four years.

    The Robert and Carols desperately want to stay in a state of influence in the state. Unfortunate for them, they are too ignorant to understand basic economics, science, and common sense which their family predecessors actually had a notion of, but they themselves have ridden the coattails of while doing very little actual real work.

    The Keystone Pipeline in Oklahoma was already complete. How many jobs have come from it? Roughly 30. So does Representative Bice know where the other 89k of oil related jobs are in Oklahoma? Probably not, because there aren’t that many.

    Oklahoma’s biggest employers are government (surprise), healthcare, and financial services. Oil isn’t one of them. But the Robert and Carols don’t want this myth exposed for what it truly is because if it was, they would be completely irrelevant.

  11. I guess DMing people you don’t know is the new Rightwing Twitter. I was DMed by some guy in Facebook jail who just had to “inform” me of my ignorance on a Facebook post. Ambia has all the luck!

  12. TO: the little people
    FROM: Carol Hefner, someone better than you. Also, rich

    Dear Little People:

    Even though I am real rich, that makes no difference because you can never be too rich or too thin skinned. Therefore, leave my oil alone. You see, oil is real important because I get money from it. Just look what happened to the whale oil industry when bastards like you demanded an end to whaling! Whale oil millionaires went broke!!! Oh, wait, that’s not what happened: regular oil replaced whale oil, and whale oil millionaires just invested their money in that and got even richer. Shit, I forgot. Anyhow, nothing will ever replace regular oil, NOT EVER!!!! It will last forever! We can never use it all up, NEVER!

    So I encourage you to stop this nonsense of “alternative energy” and let’s get back to fracking and pumping and shoving oil down pipelines and into your gas tanks! Think of all the money it brings into my pocket book, so I can buy pretty things! You’d like pretty things too, wouldn’t you? I mean, if you could afford them. But be satisfied that you can drive places and when you do, you’re helping ME get richer and richer. See how that works?

    Your Superior, Carol

  13. About a week ago I got texted with a ‘friend request’
    from Robert Hefner III on Facebook.

    I get other requests routinely from people I’ve never
    heard of but this one struck me as pretty strange.
    I very rarely check out anything on Facebook but I did
    agree to be’friends’ with two actual real life friends when
    I first subscribed and they both use it daily so I suppose
    that’s where a lot of it comes from.

    After reading this article it makes more sense, in that
    evidently both of these Hefners are using it for networking
    geared toward obtaining political contribution$.

    Is that the case ? Or are they really just bored or something?

    1. My guess? More time on their hands since Twitter, Facebook et al banished that one noisy ignoramus that they followed.

  14. Christian pottymouth deadbeat.

  15. I own a Volt but light my bong with NG. Am I still doing my part?

    1. You are my hero!

    2. Coolest person on the interweb!

  16. This is great stuff! I used to live between NW Highway and Hefner Road near MacArthur Blvd. If I still lived there, I think I would like to petition the OKC city council to change “Hefner” Road to “Ambia” or “Cail” Road. Maybe then they’d fix the potholes.

    1. First of all, I love it.

  17. Maybe her and Ms. Stitt can go joyriding in an OKHP vehicle together.

  18. Okay, boring fact check here. Summary, lots of temporary jobs for two years, thirty-five (35) permanent.
    A snippet:
    “…”When combined with additional 2021 contracts to be announced later, the total number of American union workers constructing Keystone XL in 2021 will exceed 8,000 and $900 million in gross wages,” the release said. “In total, Keystone XL is expected to employ more than 11,000 Americans in 2021, creating more than $1.6 billion in gross wages.”

    That’s close to what the State Department found in its 2014 report.

    In the report, the agency wrote that 10,400 estimated positions would be for seasonal construction work lasting four to eight-month periods. Since the State Department defines “job” as “one position that is filled for 1 year,” that would equate to approximately 3,900 jobs over a two-year period.

    In short: Most of the estimated jobs were temporary.

    The State Department forecasted that no more than 50 jobs, some of which could be located in Canada, would be required to maintain the pipeline. Thirty-five of them would be permanent, while 15 would be temporary contractors.

    We reached out to the White House for a comment, but we haven’t heard back.”

    Whole article:

    No mention of environmental costs or an actual need for the oil sands which are more costly to refine.

    Better would be THE DAMN INFRASTRUCTURE PLAN that’s been promised for the past four years. Far more jobs, longer lasting, with more benefits to everyone and every state.

  19. Carol Hefner did this to me too!! Soooo funny. I was decent and respectful but she ended up blocking me after our interaction. I was flabbergasted😂
    I had never even heard her name before…no idea how she found me or why.

  20. Just remember, she’s a “Warrior for God, Family, and Country”

  21. Screw narcissists!

    1. Or just wait until they screw themselves.

  22. Yes! I commented something similar on Lankford’s wall about how diversifying is probably a good idea. And suddenly, dozens of trumpers started posting about how we use oil for everything and how God makes oil blah blah blah.

    Is there some sort of newsletter they have because all the comments were markedly similar.

  23. These comments are almost better than the article!

  24. Where was Carol on January 6th?

  25. Imagine using *press on “mails”* as your example as to why petroleum made plastics are essential instead of, like…life-saving sterile medical equipment.

    Just really shows how detached these people are from reality and where their priorities are. They expect everyone to think like them, to think that frivolous luxuries are worth the destruction of our planet.

    If she would have framed it as plastics being essential to the medical industry and that with a total ban on plastics not only would people die, but the standard of living for the middle class would massively plummet, that would have much better fit her weak attempt to virtue signal.

    But even if she did go that route, like you said, no one is saying we should eliminate ALL oil and plastics. But cmon, if you’re gonna fear-monger and virtue signal, at least make it good.

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