Skip to Content
news

OBN desperately looking for new ways to drum up media-induced fear about marijuana…

12:19 PM EST on February 10, 2021

Although medical marijuana has been legal in Oklahoma for over two years now, the Oklahoma Bureau of Narcotics and their fearmonger in chief, Mark Woodward, are still doing their best to use the media as a tool to scare people about the dangers of the devil's lettuce.

For example, check out this report about (gasp!) marijuana products that are packaged to look like the (gasp!) packages of candy that you'd find at one of your three or four (gasp!) neighborhood On-Cues. You can't buy them in any of our state's medical marijuana dispensaries or anything like that, but according to the OBN, they're available on the "dark web" and will soon make their way onto the Oklahoma streets and then into teenagers' backpacks, possibly next to their vape pen, Adderall and the oxy they swiped from mom's medicine cabinet while she was passed out on the floor...

Via News 9:

Oklahoma law enforcement has a warning for parents and educators.

Products with THC, packaged like something that can be bought at a convenience store, are being sold on the streets, the Oklahoma Bureau of Narcotics officials said.

THC products that look like candy can not be bought at local dispensaries due to Oklahoma’s packaging laws.

However, OBN officials said the products are trafficked in and can be found on the dark web.

“They literally could be getting high in plain sight,” said Mark Woodward, Oklahoma Bureau of Narcotics spokesman.

Yep, they could literally be getting high in plain sight!!! I guess that's worse than literally vaping in the school bathroom between classes where they would have more privacy.

Also, if you buy THC-laced Boston Baked Beans or Lemonheads knock-offs, does the printed message on the inside top-flap tell you to do more drugs?

Here's more:

“Side-by-side, (they) would look just like the legitimate candy,” said Woodward. “Whether you’re talking about Nerds Ropes, gummy worms, Sour Patch Kids; pretty much any type of candy that you find in a convenience store, there are knock-offs that look just like it.”

That also includes cookies, drinks and snacks with THC.

As a former Oklahoma teen, I can say with confidence that Oklahoma teens aren't the brightest lot. Why would you buy THC candy off the street, when you can easily buy some M.I.O edibles from the 18-year-old junior at school who already has his medical card? Seriously, just get them from him and put them in Skittles or Chip's A'Hoy box or whatever. You know, kind of like what their parents would do back in the day when they'd sneak marijuana onto the plane when returning home from a ski trip in Colorado.

Woodward said users will sometimes take it out of the packaging and put in other containers or bags, making it even easier to slip past adults.

“We’ve had incidents where we’ve had schools call us and say they have kids who were very lethargic or acting like they were impaired,” said Woodward. “After talking to the kids, they admitted to had eaten some candy at school that was THC.”

Nevermind. I guess Oklahoma teens are smarter than we thought. Well, outside of admitting to the cops that they took some edibles.

p.s. - All snark aside, I would never encourage a teenager to get high. Wait until your brain is more or less fully developed before you bake it. 

Stay in touch

Sign up for our free newsletter