Like most wind-swept Oklahomans, my tradition back in the high school days was to go to Sonic for a Route 44, have my friend’s older sister buy us the cheapest bottle of vodka possible, mix them all up, and then go drink in a field somewhere out near Anderson Road. Basically, it was the quintessential Oklahoma suburban experience.
Thanks to our friends at Sonic and Coop, experiencing those sweet and tasty good old days is easier than ever. As you know, the two Oklahoma institutions recently released a new line of Sonic branded and flavored hard seltzers into the world, and people are going apeshit for them. Hard seltzers are the fastest-growing segment of the alcoholic beverage industry, and with the branding power of Sonic, how can you lose?
I had been trying to hunt down one of their variety packs since they came out. My normal booze-hole liquor store sold out an entire pallet in a day, and won’t be able to get more until next week. It’s truly madness.
Luckily, Art and Beth with Vice Spirits in Downtown OKC came in the clutch and saved us a Citrus variety pack to sample! Patrick then picked up the pack and brought it to my house like a carhop.
I tried each flavor in the 12 pack. This is my report…
As soon as I opened it, my room was quickly filled with a wafting strawberry scent, not unlike a Yankee candle. When I put my nose to the can, however, I got that weird bitter smell you often get with flavored seltzers. It was very acidic in a way that I felt like it was destroying my tooth enamel. Ultimately, it tasted like one of those pink sweet tarts.
3 out of 5 stars
COOP’s other seltzer line does a similar flavor, which I did not enjoy. This one is a big improvement because it doesn’t taste like Robitussin. However, there still wasn’t enough or accurate cherry flavor, and zero aroma. The mouthfeel was surprisingly syrupy for a hard seltzer, which I’ve never encountered. It’s trying hard, but whiffed at capturing one of my favorite Sonic drinks.
2.5 out of 5 stars
This one is almost identical to the cherry variety, but cleaner, more crisp, and more refreshing. It was less sweet and citric, which is a problem with a lot of flavored seltzers. They dump pounds of citric acid in them and expect you to think it tastes like lime because it’s bitter and burning your tongue. I am typically more of a beer/wine/spirits enthusiast over hard seltzers, but if I was handed one of these at a BBQ pool party, I’d rip that top open and enjoy it.
4 out of 5 stars
The lemonade was the final tasting in my flight, and the biggest surprise. Perhaps it’s because my taste buds had been nuked by the aforementioned metric tons of citric acid, but it was the least tart of the bunch, which went wildly against my expectations. It was the most aromatic, hints of Lemon Pledge but not in an unpleasant way. If I’m going to buy a sixer of one of these, that’s the flavor I’d go with.
5 out of 5 stars
Well, I guess that concludes my review of the new Citrus flavors. There’s apparently also a Sonic Tropical Variety pack with flavors like Ocean Water. Hopefully, I can get my hands on one of those and we can recap them soon.
If you’ve tried any of these, what are your rankings?