Whenever media publications beg people for money on days like Small Business Saturday, they usually list all the important and bumptious reasons you should support them.
You know, something like “by helping fund our operations, you not only get any time, anywhere access to our content, but give us the support we need to stay afloat, overcome the Google and Facebook online advertising duopoly, and continue to produce our unique, locally-produced, occasionally humorous and sometimes important content about this place some of us for some reason still call home.”
That’s a pretty good reason to support an independently owned and operated publication, but to be fair and impartial, there are also some reasons you shouldn’t.
Here are seven of them:
1. We ruined your Santa Fe ski trip
If there wasn’t a Lost Ogle, the people of Oklahoma probably would never have known that their Governor fled his state to go skiing right after he declared a state of emergency. If you were that Governor, I wouldn’t give us any money either!
2. We ruined your PhD. dress-up day
Seriously, if we called you out for dressing up as a Ph.D. at a commencement ceremony when all you have is a Bachelor’s degree, I wouldn’t give us money either.
3. You’re cheap and stingy like my brother
Are you the type of person who makes a lot of money in sales, but hits up your brother for his The Athletic password when you want to read an article about OU football? If so, you’re probably the last person in the world who would send $5 to support a tiny website trying to stay afloat in today’s treacherous media age.
4. You’d rather give your money to media “non-profits” backed by the Oklahoma ruling class
I’m not knocking the local non-profit media outlets that get a large chunk of their funding from Oklahoma elites like George Kaiser or the Gaylord-backed Inasmuch Foundation. Even though these outlets are well-funded, and generate more money in a month than we probably do in a year, I support some of them, because, like you, it makes me feel better about myself.
5. You just bought a $2.75-million mansion
With that big of a house payment, I don’t blame you for being a bit stingy.
6. Your name is Carol Hefner
7. You want our contributors to make as little money as possible
Like any compassionate capitalist, I give shares of our monthly membership revenue directly to our stable of contributors. If you hate their columns and work, please don’t become a member so they can make as little as possible.
Anyway, that’s just 7 reasons why you shouldn’t support us. I’m sure there are dozens and dozens and dozens of other reasons, too. Let us know in the comments.